The Sports Parenting Roller Coaster - It's Hard. Here's Why.

All opinions expressed in the blog are mine, including the big picture ideas and the fine details. 

Being a sports parent is hard, as is coaching. Whenever there's an imbalance between expectations and results, combined with lack of control, a volatile mix exists.

Every parent wants our children to do well. It's thrilling when it happens, disappointing when it doesn't, and frustrating when our kids don't play at all or as much as we'd like. 

Historically, boys' sports tended to have more orderly progression, partly because of slower physical and emotional maturity. Not so many freshman boys were prepared to play varsity or even JV ball. Patience was expected and required. 

Girls' sports differ for several reasons. Girls mature physically far sooner, so many freshman have reached most of their adult height. Because of the proliferation of youth sports, players start young. One group we coached played 80 (you read that right) games as eighth graders. The "paying your dues" happened, sight unseen by parents of older girls.

That sets up major conflict. Physically mature, experienced youth can be seen as "carpetbaggers" displacing older players with expectations of 'their turn'. Sometimes the young players objectively have more size, athleticism, and skill than their 'seniors'. 

Coaches get caught in the middle between the desire and need to win versus the angst and sometime wrath of parents whose ambitions for their children go unfulfilled.  

Over fifty years ago in a neighboring town, one parent-politician tried to have the coach removed after his son was cut during tryouts. Few are around to remember the fury surrounding the case. 

I strongly recommend the late Carl Pierson's book, The Politics of Coaching for all coaches and sports parents. Carl put the many complex political conflicts into perspective. 

We've been fortunate to meet so many Melrose parents over the past thirty years of youth sports in many different capacities. We want every person and team to succeed. We've seen joy and sadness, triumphs and defeats and hope everyone can cheer together riding the roller coaster.