Had I an imaginary restaurant, chocolate trifle would be a dessert option.
It's a multilayer dessert with chocolate cake (or brownies), chocolate pudding, and whipped cream. I alternated two layers of each.
Chocolate cake - Cake mix is fine. Note that when "complete" cake mixes were produced, households rebelled because they wanted more involvement. Ergo, the modern versions with mix, water, oil, and eggs.
Chocolate pudding - I chose two boxes of an "instant" chocolate pudding and substituted oat milk (1 1/2 cups per box instead of 2 cups of milk)
Whipped cream - use "heavy whipping cream" (high fat content), with 1/4 cup of confectioner's sugar, and 1/2 teaspoon (a little extra!) of vanilla. Chill the mixing bowl (I used a household power blender) and whip until stiff peaks (but not butter).
Assemble the mix and allow to stand in the refrigerator for a minimum of four hours and preferably overnight.
Remember your coaches, what they did for you. You cannot know how it feels to play in grainy black and white in Boston Garden.
Coaches advance your story. They help you write your narrative and make memories. They teach. Education changes behavior. "We are what we repeatedly do."
After your parents, your coaches are your biggest fans.
Coaches take you places that you cannot go alone.
Coaches are culture warriors.
Coaches want you to succeed beyond your wildest dreams.
Coaches need you to play with force. "The meek shall inherit the earth," but don't succeed in sports.
Coaches remember indelible moments that you create.
- A Billerica player had perpetrated some atrocity upon one of our girls. I called a timeout. "Kiki" said, "Do you want me to take her out?" "Do you mean, like, for lunch?" "No, that is not how we play."
- Sometimes players "have a day." The player (13 years old) had been lights out in practice. She's making everything. Finally, she misses. An expletive shatters the silence, "$#*&." The gym erupts in laughter.
- Tryouts start in two minutes. I will start by sitting the girls on the baseline and asking for a volunteer. Hands fly. "That's not good enough. When you hear, "Vol..." be up like a rocket." Show enthusiasm. A tiny sixth grader, Naomi, comes up to me, "Coach, I am really excited to be here." She beat the system.
- We lost a tough game. Leonora tells the team, "I'm sorry. I was terrible. I lost the game." Bella puts her arm around her and says, "We win together and we lose together."
- "I am your mentor and your tormentor." - CAPT T.E. Walsh, my mentor from the Navy
Remember the coaches who help turn the impossible into reality.
Boston Garden, March 1973, with Coach Ellis Lane (right), and the late Coach Dick Kelley.
Lagniappe. Be seen and be heard. Become the heroine of your own story. Your job is to "live with force."
The two "best" answers in Medicine were, "I don't know and I'll find out" and "that's a good idea, we should try that."
"Coaching is not criticism." How coaching "lands" isn't always the same as its intent.
I coached an athletic middle schooler who didn't go to Melrose. She was quick, unselfish, a willing passer, and a disruptive defender. Great! There was a problem. She listened to nothing I said.
Years later she had great success in high school. Her mother sent me a note, "She finally figured it out. Coaches are on her side."
To be your best, identify strengths and 'need areas'. Consolidate (harden) strengths and lessen weaknesses. The volleyball "Success Stools" shows generic areas that everyone can work on.
Common areas for gains:
Practice focus (e.g. serving to specific areas)
Sustained focus (play the whole set)
Attacking with high contact point (reducing blocks)
Attacking angles (Elise excels at using angles - Pythagoras would be proud)
Attack diversity (score off smashes, hitting line, tips, rolls, cut shots) - Hannah Brickley had a big "bag" of attacks
Former Patriots consultant Mike Lombardi wrote in Gridiron Genius, "Moss displayed another Belichick staple: mental toughness, which the Patriots define as “doing what is best for the team when it might not be best for you.”In New England, Moss was a “program guy”: someone whoworks hard, is a supportive teammate, and cares deeply about winning. In other words, someone with football character."
Character and competence.
Competence reflects skill, volleyball IQ, and physicality. As Kevin Eastman says, "Success leaves footprints." Former Patriots assistant Ernie Adams ("Belichick's Belichick") had a sign on his desk, "Stamp out bad football."
Character shows up in all the intangibles seen on the court - communication, connection, discipline, effort, sacrifice, and teamwork.
College basketball coach Shaka Smart kept a sign on his desk - LOVE - because you have to love your teammates and the game.
How you do anything...
"How you do anything is how you do everything." Excel at home, in the classroom, and in your extracurriculars.
Commit to the Fourth Agreement - "Always do your best."
Image created by ChatGPT Plus
Compete
The court is the coach's laboratory. The entire ecosystem, MVB Culture, is yours. Compete for each other, not with each other.
Play with force - discipline, effort, and toughness.
NFL and NCAA champion coach Pete Carroll describes your attitude as "Win Forever."
Four time Super Bowl winner (coach and GM) Bill Walsh wrote, "The Score Takes Care of Itself." The precursor to that is knowing that "A champion behaves like a champion before being one."
Volleyball character reveals itself in your identity and performance. Student-athletes are 'billboards' that convey messages to coaches, teammates, and the community.
Lagniappe (AI Assist). Provide context. AI works as a partner, summarizing wide swaths of input across many platforms including the blog.
“Play with force” does not mean swing harder at everything. Force is focused power. Serve aggressively. Attack with purpose. Block with penetration. Get your feet to the ball. Play with urgency.
A ball slammed of bounds is not force; it is inefficient. Force means making the opponent uncomfortable - compromising time and space, creating difficult first contacts, attacking seams, leveraging angles, and turning free balls into pressure.
Teams playing with force create identity. They are early reading plays, loud, connected, and decisive. They anticipate and impose their will on the match. "The strength of the wolf is the pack."
Force appears in the feet, the voice, the platform, the serve, the block, and the decision. Call the ball early. Set with conviction. Attack with purpose. Cover with urgency. Force means pressure - pressure with the serve, pressure with the attack, pressure with pursuit, pressure with your presence. Force is not frenzy. It is artistry within the dogfight. Force is focused, controlled aggression.
Every coach develops a philosophy, intentionally habitually. Mine is imperfect and still evolving, but these are the principles I work on.
1. Coaches are truth tellers. Our responsibility is to tell players what they need to hear, not simply what they want to hear. Growth begins with honest feedback delivered with respect.
2. Coaches and players succeed together. A coach depends on the performance of individual players and the team. The notion that a coach wants a player to fail rarely survives even a moment of honest reflection. When players improve, everyone wins.
3. Coaching is a privilege. Brad Stevens said, "Coaches get more than we give." The opportunity to teach, challenge, and encourage young people is an honor. The greatest rewards often come years later when former players return with gratitude and stories about lessons that lasted.
4. Speak greatness. There is a profound difference between saying, "You did well, but..." and "You did well, and..." One language closes the conversation. The other builds on success while inviting continued improvement.
5. Correct without discouraging. John Wooden often placed correction between genuine praise - a "sandwich" of encouragement, instruction, and confidence. Players should leave a conversation believing they can become better.
6. Build with positives. Research consistently shows that healthy relationships require many more positive interactions than negative ones. Coaching should challenge players, but should also create confidence, hope, and belief.
7. Coach with conviction. Bob Knight famously observed, "If you listen to the fans in the stands, soon you will be up there sitting next to them." Coaches should listen thoughtfully to others, but decisions must ultimately rest on principle, preparation, and judgment.
8. Coaches do have favorites. Not favorite people - favorite habits. We naturally value players who arrive early, work hard, compete relentlessly, accept coaching, and place the team first. Those behaviors are available to everyone.
9. Never underestimate encouragement. Few moments are more satisfying than honestly telling a player, "Good job,""Thank you," or, on rare occasions, "You're one of the best I've ever coached." Authentic praise endures.
10. Trust determines opportunity. Talent matters, but trust determines who is on the floor when the game matters most. Reliability, discipline, and good decisions earn opportunities.
11. Never be a child's last coach. Every athlete should leave your program believing that sports enriched their life, regardless of playing time or wins and losses.
12. Accept that criticism is inevitable. No coach will be universally admired. Leadership requires difficult decisions that cannot satisfy everyone. If you need unconditional approval, coaching is the wrong profession.
13. Remember the Prime Directive. Parents naturally place the well-being, role, recognition, and playing time of their own child ahead of the needs of the team. Coaches must respectfully acknowledge that reality while remaining committed to what gives the entire team the best chance to succeed.
14. Protect everyone. When difficult conversations are necessary, have another adult present whenever appropriate. Document important discussions and decisions. Transparency protects players, families, and coaches alike.
15. Ask the hard question. "What does it feel like to be coached by me?"
Players deserve honesty, accountability, respect, and hope. Coaches should continually seek feedback, reflect on their methods, and strive to become better teachers and better people.
Coaching is ultimately about relationships. Wins matter. Championships matter. But years later, players rarely remember every score. They remember how sports challenged them, how coaches treated them, and whether their coach cared and helped them improve as a player and person.
Learn every day. Teach what you know. Leave every player better than you found them.
2. Dani cooks up a pancake dig, soaring like a juvenile pterodactyl...watch into the next point (point 37) where Alisa delivers a kill from the outside.
3. Aces often arise from extremes (short, long, sidelines), seams, or attacks on weaker defenders. Sadie's serve almost tickles the endline...continue through the next point where Sabrina's defense into offense informs a "block-kill."
4. "Gotta have it" points are "Belichickian" turning points. At 22-21, Melrose looks to close out with force. Again, "sport rewards athleticism" as Sabrina uses her vertical and presses the block into a kill.
"An empty barrel makes the loudest noise" informs that more volume does mean accuracy or correctness.
A successful season means playing to your capabilities. Teams can play poorly and win or well and lose. Be a worthy opponent.
In The Undoing Project, Michael Lewis tells a story about Amos Tversky, literally "the smartest guy in the room" - in every room. Tversky is at a dinner party, and Nobel laureate Murray Gell-Mann (quarks) is pontificating about everything. Tversky pulls him aside saying, "There is nobody in the world as smart as you think you are."
Humility, empathy, and vulnerability accessorize confidence beautifully.
Lagniappe. Excellence.
The actual secret to greatness: Pick a thing.Pick a system for your thing.Surround yourself with people who support you doing your thing.Do your thing for a decade (or more).
All opinions expressed in the blog are solely my own. The blog is not an official publication of any City of Melrose organization.
Thanks to MHS-TV Sports for their high quality livestream last evening of the Melrose-Lynn Classical game.
The High-Def (1280) broadcast captures a wide-angle "All-12" view and end zone cameras detail the servers and images of both benches.
The sound quality captured the "playoff atmosphere" as although Classical didn't have a high number of supporters, they brought high volume.
Sophisticated coaches monitor bench engagement which has never been an issue for MVB.
The regular "instant replay" added high value to the broadcast. Kudos to the camera operators, production, and faculty supervision.
Pros and cons exist for student announcers. While Don Orsillo and Jerry Remy shared INANE BANTER (literally with Supers - superimposed graphics), that's a big ask for students discussing an upcoming chem test. Most students don't have an in-depth understanding of volleyball fundamentals, terms, and rules.
The broadcast - camerawork, replays, and sound - showed high quality and look forward to more in the future.
"Excellence is not an act, but a habit" is misattributed to Aristotle (I have often made this mistake). Will Durant wrote it in The Story of Philosophy.
And I owe apologies for deviations from "MVB" to excellence - in speaking, in writing, in critical thinking.
What books and writings influence your thinking and communication? Pause and reflect.
Study these to improve your communication.
"On Writing" - Steven King
“The road to hell is paved with adverbs.”
You can write, "She jumped and spiked furiously." Or write, "Sabrina soared above the net and deformed the ball with fury designed to send the intended victim to Valhalla." Either could work.
King wants powerful verbs not empowering adverbs. Allow the verb to stand on its own merit. Disallow very, really, or truly. Choose "she played very hard" or "No one mistook her ferocity for mediocrity."
"Bird by Bird" - Anne Lamott
“Perfectionism is the voice of the oppressor, the enemy of the people. It will keep you cramped and insane your whole life, and it is the main obstacle between you and a sh*tty first draft.”
Write your thoughts down; then edit. Screenwriter David Mamet says that comedians spend their lives "shaving syllables." A story or joke has three parts - beginning, middle, and end. 1) "What was the last thing Washington said to his men before crossing the Delaware?" 2) Pause. 3) "Get in the boat."
"The Writing Life" - Annie Dillard
"You submit this landscape every year, and every year I put it on the bad stack. Why do you like it so much? The young photographer said, "Because I had to climb a mountain to get it."
Writing and volleyball share intent. Don't hoard or hold back our best.
Here's AI generated commentary on "The Writing Life"
Writing is sustained attention. The work is less about waiting for inspiration than about staying with the page long enough to notice what is actually there. Discipline creates the conditions for discovery.
You often have to sacrifice what you love. Dillard’s famous image is essentially: don’t save your best material for later. Use it now. The piece in front of you deserves the strongest sentence, image, or idea you have.
The work develops a life of its own. A draft may resist your original plan. Good writing sometimes requires following where the material leads rather than forcing it into the shape you intended.
Revision is not cosmetic. It is often destructive in the best sense: cutting, rebuilding, abandoning whole sections, and accepting that substantial effort may produce nothing usable. Writing involves waste.
The writer’s life is solitary, uncertain, and demanding—but meaningful. Dillard strips away the romance. Much of writing is sitting alone, failing repeatedly, and continuing anyway. The reward is not comfort; it is the chance to make something precise and alive.
General comments about writing:
Use a creative imagination (overcome the tyranny of the blank page) and a critical imagination to refine our work.
Dan Brown said, "The difference between good writers and bad ones is that good writers know when they're bad."
Ernest Hemingway shared, "Writing is easy. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and bleed."
Attack your writing with the same intensity and integrity that you sacrifice to sport. You'll see the difference.
Lagniappe. At a random high school basketball game decades ago, a random guy approached me. "I love how your daughters play, just like boys." As preschoolers, they had rough play with boys before and after school.
Melrose earned a 25-21, 25-21, 25-18 win at home against the visiting Lynn Classical Rams. The win boosts Melrose to 5-2 with 35 percent of the regular season spent. Classical drops to 5-1.
Melrose didn't have any recent experience against LC and found them to be a worthy appointment with a strong service game and a stubborn defense.
Classical led 20-19 late in the first set when a service error proved costly. Sadie Smith then delivered an ace. At 22-20 LC took a time out and won their last point.
Leading 14-13, Anna Burns delivered a perfect pass to Sadie who fed Sabrina who went upstairs for an elevator kill.
At 22-21, Sabrina "Air" McArt delivered a key block kill and then struck again with a kill on the overpass. Alisa Dautovic finished the set with an ace.
The second stanza started out all Rams, leading 5-1. Melrose got off to another slow start.
At 2-5, Elise Marchais fired in a thunderous attack from the middle.
The teams mostly traded points mid-set.
Sabrina delivered a kill and 14-13 and with Melrose leading 19-18, both teams showed resilience on a long point. LC fended off a couple of Marchais attacks before Alisa finished off the block.
MVB accelerated off the momentum and won set two 25-21.
From 4-2, Anna Burns went on an historic service run, delivering a dozen service points. Along the way there were kills from Adriana Santoriello (left side), Amelie Johnson (right side), and Elise in the middle.
Melrose had a massive lead and got complacent and LC closed to within 24-17. Coach Scott Celli took a time out and Melrose closed out the match.
Three up:
Elise Marchais had a spectacular game, dominating offensively and defensively in the middle.
Sadie Smith continued excellent distribution and delivery of passes as the quarterback of the offense.
Adriana Santoriello got her timing back after injury absence. She showed why she has been a top ML12 option outside.
Melrose Notes:
Melrose eventually benefited from a diversified attack. When MVB got five hitters in sync - scoring from Elise, Adriana, Sabrina, Alisa, and Amelie they looked like a tough out.
The back line of Anna, Dani DiGiorgio, Alisa, and Gen Overlan played near flawless volleyball.
Service was solid with the Burns' run a key to turning the final frame into a blowout.
Next week Melrose has three games, beginning by hosting Arlington Monday.
State leaders often fluctuate according to both performance and number of sets played. Maxpreps.com informs the current totals.
Kills:
Elise Marchais is the current Melrose leader at #42 as Adriana Santoriello was out two games with injury. Elise has position versatility, comfortable both outside and in the middle.
Assists:
Sadie Smith is #7 having played fewer sets than all leaders above her. She is on track to put up 527 regular season assists this season and has weaponized attacks. She has 18 kills this season, more than all of last year.
Digs:
Anna Burns is at #16 in digs. She has shown steadiness with improvement over the six games Melrose has played this season.
Lagniappe. Game seven today, hosting Lynn Classical and their twins. "Play with force."
Many chase achievement. Recall the "Achievement Equation."
Achievement = Performance x Time
Elevating achievement works best by raising both performance and time.
1 x 1 = 1
2 x 2 = 4
4 x 3 = 12
Of course, it's not easy to quadruple your performance or to put in three times the work.
Critical mass usually conjures up ideas of nuclear fusion, creating enough nuclear fuel and energy to initiate a 'chain reaction'. "In physics critical mass is the mass of nuclear material needed to create a nuclear chain reaction, where the by-products of one reaction are used as the inputs for the next, chaining them together in a self-perpetuating fashion." Super Thinking: The Big Book of Mental Models by Weinberg, Gabriel; McCann, Lauren
Critical mass extends beyond physics to politics (e.g. fascism), to musical trends (e.g. the Beatles), and products (e.g. fax machines or cellphones).
How does it apply to volleyball or sports?
Analytics - what to track, does it work, how much impact?
Talent - how much is enough 'critical mass'?
Strategy - what creates 'sustainable competitive advantage'? Or what 'losses' create subcritical mass?
Coaching - what coaches have the skill, will, and resources to assemble critical mass?
Skill set - what combination of serving, attacking, blocking, setting, digging, and passing creates the exceptional player?
"Too much of a good thing can also be a bad thing." - from Super Thinking
If you tripled your volleyball time investment, it would come at the expense of family, school, and a well-rounded life.
The 'art' of self-development seeks the right blend to achieve critical mass. Along the journey, use "Dot b." Stop, take a breath, and reflect on where your feet are.
Lagniappe. The 2012 team wasn't extraordinarily tall and wasn't profoundly more athletic than you are. They were more experienced and developed "closers" who finished plays and defenders who kept plays alive.
I invite your attention to three elements:
1. Melrose attackers get ON TOP OF the ball. This limits attacks soaring long.
2. Melrose blockers "press the block" over the net, not just getting hands up.
3. Melrose attackers leverage geometry with attack angles.
I'd rather show young women videos of great speeches by women. There's tremendous 'selection bias' toward male media. And videos like this, however true, perpetuate that.
You are agents of change. Do better. Tomorrow you face the Rams.
"At the highest level in the final minutes of any tight game or in finals and playoffs, it’s not the team who makes the biggest plays that prevails, but the one that makes the least errors. Anyone can inflict pain, but those who can endure hardship and tough times best will succeed." 59 Lessons: Working with the World's Greatest Coaches, Athletes, & Special Forces" by Dr. Fergus Connolly
The principal 'edge' of old age is experience. "Experience is what you get when you don't get what you want."
The best students aren't always the smartest. They are those who focus, study effectively, manage time, and keep going when others quit.
Notice any similarities with the best athletes?
Practice
Warm up with the intent to loosen muscles and avoid injury. Practice with intent. Direct every serve with purpose. Read every server, setter, hitter, and ball with the belief that will make you one step faster, one step better.
Focus
Disallow distractions. Don't be thinking about texting your friends or your Spanish homework. Be present in the moment. Focus is a superpower.
Study the Game
If you don't have game video to review, ask yourself what you could do better. Maybe it's placing your serve more accurately or intentionally. Maybe it's communicating so "no ball hits the floor." Maybe it's closing the block quicker. Give yourself grace and commit to continual improvement.
Play Harder for Longer
Canadian basketball coach Dave Smart says that the best teams have the ability to "play harder for longer." Be in superior condition. If that means a few sprints after practice, do it. In basketball there's a drill called 17. You only do this drill when you're completely healthy. Some of you should not even think about it now.
Sprint sideline to sideline across the width of the court 17 times. The objective is to complete these repetitions within one minute. It's one minute of all-out effort, challenging yourself. Maybe you can't do 17 but can you do 15? Or do the drill for sixty seconds and seek your personal best. The first time will be your best.
In the fifth set, you will know that you trained harder than your opponent.
"The best" are frankly, a little bit crazy. To push yourself harder for longer and to do it consistently makes you different.
Lagniappe. Kaizen
First, the ChatGPT "McKinsey Slide" (3 second impression)
Melrose swept Wilmington 25-7, 25-11, and 25-13 at the MVMMS to extend its winning streak to three games.
The win raises Melrose's record to 4-2.
Part of the "A-Team" returned to action with Alisa Dautovic and Adriana Santoriello both saw expanded duty as they return from injuries.
Milestones were met as Leila Kiggundu and Mia Sasso both made their varsity debuts and recorded kills. Leila missed all of her freshman season and a quarter of this year with injury.
Every Melrose player saw action.
MVB established its game early with offense from multiple players including Amelie Johnson, Elise Marchais, Sabrina McArt, Adriana, Alisa, and Sadie Smith who unofficially had four kills from the setter position.
The second set illuminated the skill set of Leila as she served and set giving Sadie some deserved relief.
Melrose Notes:
The Pixellot camera system is currently not operational, limiting home broadcasting to labor intensive manual camera operation.
Melrose hosts the unbeaten Lynn Classical Rams Thursday. The Rams currently hold the #3 slot in the Maxpreps.com ranking system in Division three. There is an early start at 5 P.M.
Interesting games on the ML12 schedule today including Burlington at Wakefield and Woburn at Belmont, so the standings could see Melrose move into the top four.
Learning about leadership is an important part of your experience. Understand what leaders do and how.
Leaders help people be seen and heard.
They put people in position to succeed.
They add sport-specific value and set high ethical standards.
They provide mastery and structured preparation.
They make everyone around them better.
Former UNC women's soccer coach Anson Dorrance had players read The Leadership Moment, nine curated stories of extraordinary leadership. It would be excellent summer reading.
One of my favorites was Arlene Blum leading an all-women's expedition to summit Annapurna, one of 14 Nepalese peaks over 8,000 meters. Two women summited and two died trying. Women have the capacity to face the challenges, endure the hardships, achieve greatness, and suffer the same consequences as men.
Ecosystem, the totality of a program's environment, matters. Coach Scott Celli and his staff bring the same energy and positivity today that have been fundamental for three decades.
In her Hall of Fame induction speech, Sarah McGowan emphasized how welcoming the program was, even for her as a young camper. Upperclassmen never "bigfoot" young players. There has never been a "kiss up" and "kick down" mentality to overcome.
Does that mean that everyone is happy with their playing time or role? Of course not. Everyone should want to contribute and be prepared to capitalize when the chance comes.
