Commencement Is Irony - A Beginning Not the End

Was not ready for Eric Church to deliver the best commencement speech I’ve ever heard.

Six guitar strings. Six pillars of a life.

Faith. Family. Spouse. Ambition. Community. You.

Tune them when you’re whole, not just when you’re broken.

Watch the whole thing. pic.twitter.com/6d5uY8lPP4

— Dante (@DanteTheDon) May 14, 2026

The bar for what passes as wisdom has fallen. Eric Church shares his philosophy, derived from the six stings on his guitar. 

1. Faith 

"Your faith is the low E of your life." 

John Wooden has "FAITH" flanking the top of his Pyramid of Success. Church encourages us to tend to our beliefs...reminiscent of Voltaire telling readers to "tend to their garden." 

2. Family

"It gives a chord its body."

"Family will rarely demand your time...call your people...let them see you when life is hard." Your family is your rock. 

3. Spouse

"The person you choose to share your life with is the most important decision in your life." 

They amplify the strings or take your instrument apart. "Look for shared values over shared interests."

4. Ambition

"Ambition and resilience live on this string." They pull in opposite directions. 

"The world breaks everyone." - Hemingway  We all fail. Remember that ambitious givers do best. 

5. Community

"Temptation to perform for everyone and to belong to no one."  Put down roots and know those around you. "These are my people."

"Generosity...is how you make it." Take your community along.

6. You

The final string is the thinnest and most easily broken. The comments, criticism, or opinion of others should not change you. 

You are an 'original'. Make your story great. 

All strings will drift. Choose to make music not noise. You need to keep your life tuned. 

Lagniappe. Leadership from Lawson. 

I'm convinced @DukeWBB Coach Kara Lawson is one of the best leaders in sports. This clip on urgency, growth not being linear, and the idea that there is no finish line is superb:

🥱 Need It > Want It. The people who win aren’t always the most gifted, they’re the ones who refuse… pic.twitter.com/ebLXWPs9dh

— Josh Chambers (@JoshChambers) May 4, 2026

Lagniappe 2. The experience, not winning, promotes keeping kids in sports. 

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State Leaders

All Massachusetts categories 

Kills: 

Adriana (12)

Elise (27)

Assists:

Sadie (4)

Digs:

Anna (15)

Game 4: Melrose 3 Ipswich 0

Melrose took a rare trip to Ipswich to face the 3-1 Tigers and emerged with a 25-9, 25-16, and 25-11 sweep.

The win levels Melrose at 2-2 as they approach the quarter pole of the regular season.

Coach Scott Celli did a masterful job of managing an injury-depleted lineup with Adriana Santoriello added to the injury list. MVB got Alisa Dautovic back for almost half-time duty, moved Sabrina "Air" McArt outside and rotated senior Maggie Shoemaker and sophomore Lorena Contin into the middle.

The frequent substitution between Sabrina and Alisa creates significant challenges to optimize the lineup. 

Melrose got behind 4-2 early with the rowdy Ipswich student body urging their club on. An Ipswich administrator dampened the applause - consistent with their guidelines. 

Melrose went on a massive run to lead circa 16-5 with a lot going right, including service excellence from Alisa and craft in all zones. 

A key to the performance was excellent "attack distribution" with offense throughout the front row (Sabrina, Elise Marchais, Amelie Johnson, Maggie, and Lorena) and second-ball attacks from setter Sadie Smith and even some pipe attacks. 

The second and third sets saw continued Melrose dominance with the highest volume of aces this season, solid back row play from Anna Burns, Dani DiGiorgio, Gen Overlan, and Alisa. 

Melrose's aggressive serving forced Ipswich to play "out of system" limiting their offense. 

It was Melrose's best all-around outing on the campaign and a result of aggressiveness, consistency, and force. 

Three Up

Alisa Dautovic - she debuted her MVB 26 serve and probably recorded 5-6 aces. She is also one of Melrose's top passers, making everyone else's job easier. 

Sadie Smith - as the setter, she moved the ball around generating quality attacks across the roster. 

Anna Burns/Maggie Shoemaker - the senior libero had her best game of the year, passing consistently and radiating enthusiasm. Maggie displayed excellent decision-making and net craft. 

Melrose Notes: Melrose traveled well with a solid contingent of fans in the loud Tiger gym. 

The team energy level was excellent throughout and the support from the JV was noteworthy.

Melrose travels to Lexington Friday as they have their fourth road match in five contests. 

Stay Frosty and Positive

Positive thinking has unmeasured value. LinkedIn shared a piece about the US Open. It's worth reading.

There's an unmeasurable accounting that happens in sports - the real benefits from both participation and success and the costs in economic terms, expense, and sacrifice.

Some of us have ridden that roller coaster for a lifetime. As ABC's Wide World of Sports once shared in its introduction - the thrill of victory and the agony of defeat. 

Years ago Jeff Mate shared a piece from a Lacrosse publication, "Never be a child's last coach." That's especially true for youth (developmental) sports where children regularly become "human sacrifices" for coaching and (sometimes) parental egos.

When sports promote "National Championships" for under 10s, we've lost part of our sanity. And we know how Norway took a different approach, supporting sport for youth without uber-competition. Somehow, a tiny nation beats the pants off the US in the Winter Olympics. 

Former UNC Women's soccer coach Anson Dorrance only showed his players "positive video." That's not to say they weren't competitive as every practice got scored and every player ranked - top to bottom. 

As sports progresses and competition increases, the scoreboard matters. A child has a far greater chance to become a doctor than a professional athlete and NIL money and college scholarships are not likely for the vast  majority of student athletes. 

What's the bottom line? 

Enjoy the journey not just the destination.

Support your children and their teams. 

Compete intensely while maintaining perspective and sportsmanship.

There is always a "winner" and a "loser" on the scoreboard; help our children win in life. 

 

 

 

The Prince and the Pauper

"And when he awoke in the morning and looked upon he wretchedness about him, his dream had it usual effect - it had intensified the sordidness of his surroundings a thousandfold. Then came bitterness, and heart-break, and tears." - The Prince and the Pauper, Mark Twain

Confront reality. 

Improve with relentless process.  

"The score takes care of itself." 

Lagniappe. Monday was a step in the right direction, a reminder of Neil Gaiman's advice in Coraline, "Fairy tales are more than true: not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be beaten."

Sport Is About Truth and Trust*

*Adapted from my basketball blog.

Trust cannot happen without truth. The best coaches and leaders traffic in truth in both art and reality. Great coaches are in the truth business. 

Where do art and reality collide to find truth? 

1. Kevin Eastman's Truth

"You have to TELL it. As Mark Twain said, “If you tell the truth you don’t have to remember anything.” More than that, telling the truth is just the right thing to do.

You have to LIVE it. Truth doesn’t stop at telling. We need to live it every day.

You have to TAKE it. Sometimes people say the truth hurts. I think it may sting, it might embarrass us, but in the end it will help us. You have to learn to take it and move on. You do have to handle it."

2. Coach Norman Dale's Truth

"I love you guys." Truth isn't transactional; it's relational.

3. Dean Smith's Truths

• "It's just a game."
• "A lion doesn't roar after a kill."
• “If you make every game a life and death proposition, you’re going to  have problems. For one thing, you'll be dead a lot."

4. Coach Ellis Lane's Truths (New England Basketball Hall of Fame)

• "The ball is gold." Great plays come around less than mistakes. 
• "Sacrifice." 

5. The truth about studying basketball. 

"Video is the truth machine." 

6. Bon Jovi's Truth

"You can't win until you're not afraid to lose." 

7. John Wooden's Truth

“Tell the truth. That way you don’t have to remember a story.” In Wooden’s philosophy, truth-telling was practical rather than just moral. He believed that deception created mental clutter and distracted players from their performance.

8. Pete Newell's Truth

Newell defined the fundamental truth of basketball as a game of mistakes, asserting that the team making the fewer mistakes generally wins. He believed that each lost ball translated to about 1.5 points.

9. Don Meyer's Truth

Don Meyer emphasized that great players want to be told the truth, Good players who merely want to be coached.

10. Ted Lasso's Truth

"Be curious not judgmental." What are the underpinnings of our identity and our performance? Curiosity opens doors; judgment closes them.

11. Billy Beane's "Moneyball" Truth

"Adapt or die." Every team has different sets of resources in finance, talent, coaching, and more. The best coaches maximize the return on what they have and don't whine about what they don't have. 

12. Ernest Hemingway's Truth

"The first draft of anything is garbage." We have a creative vision and a critical vision. Coaching involves both - the ability to develop a system, to teach and refine the system, and improve the players within the system. 

Find your truths. 

• "Win this possession." Volleyball is a game of possessions. 
• "Players, not coaches, make out the lineup via performance." 
• "Create a learning culture." If not, we create a losing culture.
• Soft skills win because life is hard. 

Lagniappe. Get more from arms in your jump. 

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Melrose (1-2) at Ipswich (3-1) Wednesday

Hear this out. The volleyball season resembles the NFL, not MLB, in some ways. The regular season is twenty games versus seventeen for the NFL, magnifying the relevance of each game. The baseball season, 162 games, is a marathon. 

Volleyball is a sprint. Each game is five percent of the season. Two months and it's gone.

Melrose travels to Ipswich for its first non-league match of the season on Wednesday. Ipswich, like Melrose, is a perennial contender. 

It promises to be a battle. 

Updated Season Statistics

Season statistics (through three games)

Receptions:

Assists:

Digging:

Serving:

Attacking:

 

Study the Game

Study the game.

Study the fundamentals...footwork, platform skills, attack approach, armswing.

What does volleyball reward? 

• Technique
• Strategy
• Athleticism

Aggressiveness and high contact points create advantage

 

Prioritize These

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"Control what you can control." That morphed into Coach Scott Celli's advice: "It's not whom you play, it's how you play."

Against top opposition, MVB wrote a credible story. 

Get better every day.

Learn from wins and losses.

Become a storyteller.  

 

Optimize Your Thoughts

Rory McIlroy gives a masterclass on mindset, visualization, and dealing with pressure.

"You never really know what's gonna pop into your mind at any given point. But when something undesirable pops into your mind, that's when you have to replace that with a better thought."… pic.twitter.com/qInX93UwRm

— Coach AJ 🎯 Mental Fitness (@coachajkings) September 11, 2026

"We make our habits and our habits make us."

The best players have done the preparation and work. Part of that is winning the mental game, the fourth leg of the stool of:

• Skill
• Strategy
• Physicality
• Psychology

Positivity, focus, and the capacity to visualize success and control self-talk and eliminate distractions make champions. 

•  

The Climb Does Not End

Regular readers have seen the incredible story of American teen Clarissa Shields, who rose from adversity in Flint, Michigan to become a two-time Olympic gold medalist.

Origin stories sometimes dramatize the results and not the work. Reality is usually different. 

What stands out wasn't just the physical training; it was the emotional arc:

• An impossible dream (Olympic gold)
• A coach who believes 
• Daily repetition instead of shortcuts
• Sacrifice and adversity
• Identity forged through work
• The realization that winning one battle doesn't end the struggle

Doubters will always exist. 

"Sabine is gone." 

"They're too young." 

"They haven't won anything." 

Remember the message from Kobe Bryant, "Prove them wrong." 

Lagniappe. Be all in. 

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Game 3: Winchester 3 Melrose 0

Winchester came in #2 ranked in the State in the MassHSVB poll and lived up to their billing with a 25-19, 25-21, and 25-23 sweep of Melrose.

The loss drops Melrose to 1-2 after three tough matches.

The positives were numerous as Melrose stood up under relentless pressure from Winchester's attack. The blocking/defense kept numerous plays alive.

In the first set MVB trailed 10-17 and brought the set to within 17-19 before Winchester closed them out.

The second set saw MVB with an early lead 11-8 but Winchester got level at 13, 18, and 19 before finishing off Melrose.

Melrose trailed 2-6 and needed an early Scott Celli timeout. MVB fought back to lead 19-17 forcing a Winchester timeout which led to a Winchester run. Melrose could never get even, getting as close as 23-24 before undefeated Winchester moved on. 

Melrose played with the most "force" it's played all season. The back row held its own under a Red & Black barrage. 

Three Up (Always hard)

Gen Overlan/Dani DiGiorgio - small in stature but big in heart, the DSes took a pounding and kept a lot of balls in play. 

Amelie Johnson/Adriana Santoriello continue to impress at the pins. 

Highlights: (late afternoon sun an issue) 

Dani makes multiple diving digs before Sadie Smith gets a tip at the net. 

Elise Marchais finds a hole. 

Sabrina McArt wins a tough joust at the net. 

Melrose notes: MVB goes back into action Wednesday at Ipswich. 

"Why Not"

"There's always one more thing you can do." - General Hal Moore 

Every MVB team has heard the criticisms - "Too small, too young, too simple, too inexperienced." 

During the 2012 season, a poster on the (Western Mass) Masslive sports forum wrote that Melrose played simple volleyball. They were right. 

Success is about ordinary people doing extraordinary things through commitment, work, and belief leading to high performance. 

Simply Bring the Best Version of Yourself

US Women's National Team Coach Kara Lawson has a common sense coaching approach. It begins with personal responsibility and effort.

She coached the US Women to the 2026 FIBA Women's World Cup championship. She got relentless criticism from people upset that "their" favorites weren't getting their minutes. 

Whether it's the first drill or the last drill at practice, whether you're playing a last place team or the top-ranked one, own giving your best. Bring the best version of yourself at home, in class, and on the court. 

Season as Story

"Write the book you want to read." - Austin Kleon in Steal Like an Artist

Every season a story unfolds - the evaluation phase, the major plot, and the ending, ideally with a lengthy playoff run.

"The Director is the keeper of the story." - Ron Howard

Coach Scott Celli organizes and edits big parts. A story has plot, characters, and dialogue. We're still in the evaluation phase, entering the second week of the season. 

Amidst injuries, the lineup is anything but carved in stone. Nobody has played their way out of the lineup. Some players have helped themselves with aggressiveness, consistency, and production.

Advance the story. 

A variety of authors emphasize plot structure. David Mamet explains that plot is the structure that reveals character.

He respects and revisits Greek tradition, especially Aristotle’s Poetics: a drama should have a single unified action, organized around what the protagonist wants. Mamet says the central question is, “What does the protagonist want?” Every year teams chase the brass ring. 

Dan Brown, author of The DaVinci Code, emphasizes "the ticking clock." Raising the stakes heightens tension for the reader. 

In the Bosch novels, Michael Connelly explains that murder investigations are living organisms, requiring continual progress. Volleyball seasons are similar; setbacks occur but progress must occur. 

"The players are the product."

Players like Jen Cain (left) and Sarah McGowen were part of the greatest run of MVB success, 2009-2012 with four sectional titles, two finals, and a state championship. 

Within the team stories, players write individual stories - excellence, uniqueness, probability. 

There's some irony here (without further comment)

• The 2012 team won 26 games.
• Dr. Victoria Crovo might be the best player not to have been on a sectional title team. 
• The 2012 team had five southpaws 

Dialogue

Here's a ChatGPT Plus consult:

Three of King’s strongest points in On Writing about dialogue are these:

1. Dialogue should sound like people, not writing. King emphasizes listening to how people actually speak—the rhythms, omissions, fragments, evasions, slang, and occasional bad grammar. Good dialogue is rarely polished in the way formal prose is polished. Its job is to feel lived-in and believable.
2. Dialogue reveals character. King treats speech as one of the fastest ways to show who someone is. Vocabulary, sentence length, bluntness, humor, hesitation, profanity, and what a character refuses to say all tell the reader something. Two characters should not sound interchangeable.
3. Avoid explaining dialogue with fancy tags. King strongly prefers the plain “said” over tags like “exclaimed,” “snapped,” “gasped,” or “remarked,” and he especially dislikes adverbs attached to dialogue tags. 

What's the most important in-game dialogue in many volleyball sets? "Mine." Don't let balls hit the floor. 

Concerning MVB 26? Write a great story. Start today. 

Lagniappe. Finding joy. 

I’m in love with this sentence:

“If you choose not to find joy in the snow, you will have less joy in your life but still the same amount of snow.”

— Reads with Ravi (@readswithravi) September 12, 2026

Don't Leave Home Without It

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Coach Kara Lawson has a clear perspective on how "the game" should be played. 

She's taking abuse as coach of the USWNT into the FIBA World Cup finals.

She played for Pat Summitt.

She was a WNBA All-Star.

She was a WNBA Champion. 

She was a Boston Celtics assistant. 

She knows the game and people. 

Sending a Message

Art imitates life. Playing an excellent team at home brings opportunity.

In "Raiders," Harrison Ford, with limited help, seeks to recover an invaluable artifact against all odds. 

The film illustrates a cinematic example of "The Hero's Journey." 

Image created by Chat GPT Plus

When facing a tough opponent, embrace the opportunity, the chance to climb the mountain and plant your metaphorical flag. 

 

Sarcasm - A Modern Look and Recommendations

In team sport, where connection and collaboration are vital, sarcasm should be used gently if at all.

The author points out that even young children recognize sarcasm, for example, "Yeah, right."

We use it to poke fun at ourselves. We slip and nearly fall, noting "Just call me, Grace." 

We use it to recognize our "limitations..." as in "Keen sense of the obvious." 

Coach Ellis Lane used it for humor or as a commentary on practice. "You know what I like about you guys?" We'd answer, "Nothing." 

Sarcasm, used indelicately, can inflict pain. The serve that lands at the base of the back wall can't get, "That's my All-American" or the net violation shouldn't earn, "We're thinking about electrifying that net." 

Sarcasm can strengthen connection when trust is already strong. It is a poor tool for creating trust.

Correction should reduce ambiguity, not increase it. Sarcasm is indirect. Good coaching inhabits clarity: “Get your toss farther in front.” “Stay off the net.” “Read before you move.” The athlete should leave the exchange knowing what to do next.

Humor belongs in sport. So does teasing. But the best teams understand the difference between laughing with someone and making someone the joke.

Understanding when sarcasm can lighten the mood (self-deprecating) or hurt (withering criticism) will help our communication. Good teammates don’t just know what to say. They know how it will land.

Be That "Guy" - Making a Difference

Be that "guy" who practices hard every day, the standard setter.

"Leaders show up every day." To make a difference, set the example, set the tone. There is no entitlement. 

A player was selfish. The coach decided on a teachable moment. During a basketball scrimmage, he set the player up to inbound the ball. Then he told his teammates to leave the floor. 

He told the player, "Now play." The message was clear, "You cannot play without your teammates." 

The Teddy Atlas firefighting video teaches that it takes commitment, focus, and effort to "put out the fire." That means everyone. If you're the fifteenth person on the team, the team needs you to be the best version of yourself every day at practice or encouraging teammates during the game. 

Be that 'guy' who sacrifices and serves the team. The most important place to show up is on the scoreboard, not in the scorebook. 

What Drives Winning?*

All opinions expressed in the blog are my own. The blog is not an official publication of any City of Melrose organization.

*Adapted from my basketball blog

How can you attack the issues that get in the way of your team maximizing it’s ability?Here’s two questions to start the conversation and help build a community of learners.

- What Drives Winning

Read on Substack

Brett Ledbetter does amazing work discussing the humanity of sport. Don't confuse insight with 'softness'. 

"What are the top three things that could get in the way with you maximizing your ability?"

"What is the biggest personal struggle that you're dealing with?"

We don't know what we don't know. 

Players have issues at home. Jerry West held a shotgun to his abusive father and told him that he would use it. 

Players have financial issues that impact housing and hunger, not just whether they can play club ball. 

A parent had serious health issues and died during the season. The parent had written me requesting extra support for the player. The team imploded while supporting the player.  

Players hide or understate injuries. "Checking in" regularly gives them a chance to share. 

Never make assumptions. (from The Four Agreements)

How many coaches ask players what is going on in their lives (family, home, school, other relationships)? In A Sense of Where You Are, about Bill Bradley, the coach lists three big words on the chalk board:

• Food
• Sleep
• Studies 

In small letters, he writes "Basketball."

Student-athletes experience different pressures and priorities. Players quit or act out sometimes because they don't feel seen, heard, or respected.  

Create Safe Spaces

The team (Oklahoma) thought she was selfish, taking "My Turn" or "Me, Too" shots. They confronted her about it and she broke down crying. She said that unless she scored, her father wouldn't talk to her. Supporting teammates isn't automatic, it's chosen. 

Coaching can't 'fix' everyone or everything. But if we don't know or choose not to know, then issues will impact winning. That's the truth that Ledbetter wants us to understand.

Lagniappe. Apply "The Batman Effect." 

When asked what characteristic ALL ELITE ATHLETES SHARE, Kobe said ‘storytelling’.

“Tell yourself, don’t listen to yourself.”

World class athletes geniunely believe they have an alter ego when they need to go to another level. This is called the ‘Batman Effect’.

One of the… pic.twitter.com/W3okaXhppI

— Chris Steed (@csteed) September 2, 2026

Lagniappe 2. Grow your craft. 

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