"Back when everything was as it should have been, one of Marcus’s combat instructors had laid down a law: control is key. Control the environment, control your opponent. Most of all, control yourself." - Mick Herron in "Real Tigers" from the Slough House series
Find a 'closer'. Not just for your team but for yourself. A closer allows you the best chance. The best chance to make the right decision and right action...not just on the court.
But it's more. Guys speak of "Bro Code" and for women in sport, it's a special Sisterhood.
ChatGPT Plus steps in here, lightly edited. You never know when it might help.
On successful girls' teams, there absolutely seems to be an unwritten set of norms that transcend team rules.
A volleyball version of "The Sisterhood" might look something like this:
The Sisterhood
1. Protect Each Other's Trust
What is shared in confidence stays in confidence.
A teammate should never wonder:
"If I tell her this, will the whole school know tomorrow?"
Trust is a competitive advantage.
2. Celebrate Without Envy
When a teammate succeeds:
- applaud,
- support,
- encourage.
Jealousy fractures teams.
Great teammates understand: her success helps us all.
3. Don't Be a Rat
Not in the sense of hiding dangerous behavior.
Rather:
- don't create drama,
- don't weaponize information,
- don't run to authority figures over every minor conflict.
Handle small problems directly and respectfully whenever possible.
4. Don't Undermine Relationships
Don't pursue:
- a teammate's boyfriend,
- a teammate's crush,
- or situations that create unnecessary distrust.
Loyalty matters.
5. Defend Absent Teammates
If someone is being criticized behind her back:
- redirect,
- defend,
- or stop the conversation.
The true test of loyalty is what happens when the person isn't present.
6. Tell the Truth Kindly
Sisterhood is not blind agreement.
Sometimes the most caring thing is:
"You need to hear this."
Honesty delivered with compassion strengthens relationships.
7. Leave No One Isolated
Watch for:
- the quiet player,
- the injured player,
- the freshman,
- the athlete struggling with confidence.
Inclusion is a leadership skill.
8. Compete Cleanly
You can compete fiercely for:
- positions,
- playing time,
- recognition.
But never sabotage a teammate. Earn your opportunities through performance.
9. Carry Each Other Through Hard Days
Everyone eventually:
- slumps,
- struggles,
- doubts themselves.
The best teams understand:
today I carry you;
tomorrow you may carry me.
10. Put the Team First
Perhaps the highest principle.
The Sisterhood is ultimately:
"I choose us over me."
Not always. Not perfectly. But consistently.
What's interesting is that many of these overlap with the values you've repeatedly emphasized in Melrose Volleyball:
- Team First
- Accountability
- Trust
- Communication
- Being a great teammate over being a great player
In fact, if I were writing this for a volleyball team, I'd probably conclude:
The Sisterhood isn't about always agreeing with each other.
Create a circle of trust where every player knows:
"These women want the best for me, will tell me the truth, and will stand beside me when things get hard."
That's the kind of culture that tends to survive long after the final match is played.
Lagniappe. The toss.
Lagniappe 2. Develop a diversity of attacks.
