Coaching Conversations

Coaching inputs arrive from many sources - experience as the decision-maker, as an assistant, an observer, reader, student.

Artificial intelligence (AI) has underrated potential as a teacher. AI conversations expose strengths and limitations ("I hadn't thought about that"). 

We choose how to hear input:

• Accept critiques as legitimate
• Let them "wash over us" (ignore)
• Get angry

We have the freedom to choose. 

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What follows is heavily edited coaching conversation with AI:

Misaeng endure because it informs human performance inside organizations. For coaches, the court, the film room, and the weight room are our laboratory. 

It resonates for me because every episode shares leadership principles that transfer directly to sport. Themes you identify stand out.

1. Separate the person from the problem

One of the recurring lessons is that business decisions are rarely personal, even when they feel personal.

Good leaders avoid saying:

"You failed."

Instead they ask:

"Why didn't the process produce the desired result?"

Players or coaches should never believe that criticism devalues them as people.

2. Competence creates confidence

Jang Geu-rae doesn't become confident because someone gives him a motivational speech.

He gains confidence because of:

• preparation
• attention to detail
• problem solving
• process earns trust

Confidence follows competence. He doesn't come with an abundance of credentials, only life experience and work ethic. 

3. Growth comes through difficult assignments

Every major character receives assignments that demand they leave their comfort zone. They grow but not in a straight line. 

Player development challenges people. If it's easy, it probably isn't helping. 

4. The "patio" matters

Characters retreating to the rooftop, executives stepping outside the office, isn't accidental.

Leaders need cognitive space. In medicine we call it diagnostic reflection...connection and collaboration offer collective insight. 

In sports it might be

• taking a timeout
• sleeping on a lineup decision
• reviewing film the next morning

Emotion can cloud decision-making. A pause often improves judgment.

5. Politics is unavoidable - but integrity is optional

The show doesn't pretend organizations are meritocracies. Every organization has unique politics: 

There are

• alliances
• egos
• incentives
• self-preservation

We can ask and decide, "what is in the best interest of the team?" Misaeng shows people, especially Sales Team Three, choosing integrity when politics would be easier.

That's a realistic message.

6. Every organization has informal leaders

Some people possess titles. Others possess influence. Those aren't always the same people. 

Sports teams are exactly like that. The captain isn't necessarily the emotional leader. Nor is the leading scorer. 

Team dynamics aren't subject to "stoichiometry," as in the exact proportions required for a given reaction. The amounts and sequence of the spices added to a dish influence the flavor profile. 

7. The manager as teacher

Manager Oh rarely gives answers. He creates situations where people discover them. That illustrates Socratic coaching. He develops judgment rather than dependence.

Great coaches eventually want players to coach themselves.

Why it resonates

Curious and open coaches "reverse engineer" lessons. 

Keep asking:

"What principle is hiding here?"

Misaeng fits perfectly into that pattern because it isn't offering "management tips." It repeats case studies in leadership under uncertainty.

Contribution precedes recognition.

Nearly every respected character earns credibility by solving problems before receiving authority or praise. That differs from many Western narratives, where confidence is often portrayed as something you assert.

Consider Footloose, where Ren arrives with strong ideas and a credibility gap. He's confident by nature. He earns an unlikely ally but makes enemies along the way, too. 

In Misaeng, confidence accumulates because other people repeatedly see you adding value.

That reflects this recurring coaching idea:

"Speak less about your commitment. Let your behaviors and actions demonstrate it."

Lagniappe. Avoid delusion. 

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Highlights

Highlights appear when I find them. Nobody sends them to me (although I wish they did). Yes, they're "curated" by the poster and won't always reflect the complete skillset of the player.

Alisa Dautovic 

Two Weeks Until Tryouts

Everyone wants success.
Few want what it takes.

Nick Saban said: "It takes what it takes."

Grit. Culture. Hard work. Resilience. Dedication. Commitment. Leadership. Great habits. Trust. Connectedness. Competitiveness.

No shortcuts. pic.twitter.com/VrOySCODmm

— Greg Berge (@GregBerge) August 9, 2026

What motivates young people on the journey to 'character and competence'? Independence is part of the story, the ability to rely upon yourself while being part of the 'community' which is your family, your team, your workplace, your school, and so on.   

Don't Fear Failure

“Too many kids today are afraid of failure.” - Doug Collins

What happens when kids never learn to fail?

They quit when it gets hard.

Because no one let them practice getting back up.pic.twitter.com/9fzhUMxYPF

— Greg Berge (@GregBerge) August 9, 2026

Failure is part of the process. 

A summary and reflection on John C. Maxwell's "Failing Forward: Turning Mistakes into Stepping Stones for Success" (2000)

Every coach eventually has this conversation with a player: the shot didn't fall, the pass got picked off, the serve fell short - and the player's shoulders drop like the mistake is a verdict on who they are. John Maxwell spent an entire book arguing that this reaction, more than any deficit in talent, is what separates people who go on to accomplish things from people who stall out. "Failing Forward," published in 2000, isn't really a book about failure. It's a book about the story we tell ourselves the moment after we fail and how much that story determines what happens next.

The Core Idea

Maxwell's central claim is simple to state and hard to live: the gap between people who achieve consistently and people who plateau isn't talent, luck, family background, or even hard work in isolation. It's how each group interprets setbacks. High performers treat a bad outcome as information, a single data point about one attempt, under one set of conditions. Everyone else tends to treat a bad outcome as a diagnosis,  evidence of personal defects. Maxwell spends the opening chapters unpacking that distinction, the hinge the rest of the book swings on.

He separates the event of failing from the identity of being labeled a failure. A missed attack is an event. Deciding you're "not a clutch player" because of it is an identity you've built out of one data point. Disallow an identity to become self-fulfilling, because now you're playing the next big moment expecting to fail.

Sticking Points

A good chunk of the book catalogs the mental habits that trap people in place after a setback. Don't wait for the "right moment" that never quite arrives, rationalizing away the need to try again. Don't expect the road to be fairer or easier than it actually is, or let "embarrassment" outweigh the value of the next attempt. 

None of these are exotic; Maxwell's point is that they're common, default settings, and the people who break free aren't wired differently. Competitors notice the pattern and act despite it. That distinction between feeling the fear and being ruled by it runs through the whole middle section of the book.

He leans hard on the idea that blame is a dead end. Not because accountability is about self-punishment, but because blaming outside circumstances is the one move that guarantees you learn nothing. Own your part in a setback and you've got something to work with.

Turning the Corner

The back half of the book is more practical: Maxwell offers a rough sequence to process failure productively rather than just "getting over it." It distills to getting honest about what really happened before rushing to explain it away. Plow past the superficial to find the real lesson buried under it, adjusting your approach based on what you found. Take another swing before the fear manifests into avoidance. 

He illustrates all of this with stories of entrepreneurs, inventors, and public figures whose early records were full of well-documented flops. Later they earned breakthroughs, using examples as fuel that the pattern holds across very different fields.

Where It Lands

Maxwell informs that people who consistently shine aren't the ones who failed less, they're the ones who changed their relationship with failure. That's a reframe worth adopting, especially for anyone coaching young people. The scoreboard is unforgiving but the growth almost always happening in the losses. Make losses lessons. 

What we do in the ten seconds after a setback matters more than the setback itself. Response is everything as character and competence fuel rebounds. 

Lagniappe. The best players I've coached weren't the ones who never missed. They were the ones who wanted the ball again immediately after they did. 

Self-Talk

"Tony Dungy, a former American Football coach and now sports analyst said, “Be positive. Your mind is more powerful than you think. What is down in the well comes up in the bucket. Fill yourself with positive things.”" - Allistair McCaw in "Habits That Make a Champion"

The voice you hear most often is your own. Deliver powerful, consistent messages to yourself. 

In 10-Minute Toughness Jason Selk combines three methods - breathing, self-talk, and visualization. 

1. Cleansing breath - the simplest way to perform is 4 square - four seconds in, four second hold, four seconds out, and four seconds pause.

2. Identity statement (self-talk) - "This is who I am." You might say, "I am an experienced libero, leader, and believer in MVB." 

3. Highlight reel - three minute visualization of athletic highlights that show your sports character and competence. You can replay this any time. 

4. Performance statement (self-talk) - "This is what I do." You could say, "I focus, read, react, and execute the play that needs to be made." 

5. Cleansing breath (closing). 

Your coaches, friends, or family reaffirm their belief in your ability. But what matters most is your perception. "You can only be as good as you believe you are." 

We form our personality and beliefs starting at a young age. This scene from "The Help" is powerful. 

Many sports films have a moment where a player makes the moment. 

Write a great story. 

As Yoda says in The Empire Strikes Back, "Do or do not, there is no try." 

Lagniappe. Believe. 

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Moving On: Sabine Wenzel Is Prepping for the Season

Sabine Wenzel's sister Zuri shares some images from East Texas A&M.  

Can We Not Tell?

"Can we not tell, the next day, if we won or lost?"

 

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MVB 26 doesn't have an identity yet. That's expected at this point in the offseason. 

Once the ball goes up, teams must assume an identity. 

Years ago, Over twenty years ago, Melrose basketball was playing at Wakefield. A Wakefield coach approached me saying, "Against Melrose you know what you're going to get - five girls running full out all the time. That's tough to match." 

Craft your identity around competition, connection, and toughness daily. 

Non-Negotiable

All opinions expressed in the blog are solely mine. The blog is not an official publication of any City of Melrose organization.

Image created with ChatGPT Plus.

Seek full harmony between individual and team goals. It's seldom possible to find total alignment, but that's a reasonable goal. 

1. Be a great teammate. 

Commit, energize, support, work. 

2. 1% daily improvement

Be coachable. Focus. Advance your skills to offer the possibility of improving the team and your teammates. 

3. Help the team win. 

Everything in practice aligns with team success. Better passing improves setting and hitting. Better blocking helps the back row. Better serving puts the opponent in bad position to counterattack. 

4. Excel in your role. 

Whether your role is initially smaller or larger, "star in your role." Your best raises the ceiling of the team, perhaps imperceptibly at first. 

Remember the 'starfish story'. "Standing along the edge of the sea, a man catches sight of a young woman who appears to be engaged in a ritual dance. She stoops down , then straightens to her full height, casting her arm out in an arc. Drawing closer, he sees that the beach around her is littered with starfish, and she is throwing them one by one into the sea. He lightly mocks her, "there are stranded starfish as far as the eye can see, for miles up the beach. What difference can saving a few of them possibly make?" Smiling she bends down and once again tosses a starfish out over the water, saying serenely, "It certainly makes a difference to this one." - Rosalind and Benjamin Zander in The Art of Possibility  

5. Win big. 

Win every day by always doing your best. Stack good days. Become more. Be positive. Create an ecosystem where anything is possible. Most athletes are not so special that they can individually win titles. But the committed group makes the whole greater than the sum and special can happen. 

Lagniappe. You will never know if you never act. 

pic.twitter.com/oNPS8I2M48

— Mindful Maven (@mindfulmaven_) August 2, 2026

Leadership - Ideas from Jocko Willink

Everyone says: "Leadership is about building relationships."

But no one actually tells you how to build them.

Jocko Willink did.

He broke it down into 4 components - and the 1 thing that destroys them all.

Here’s how to actually build real relationships as a leader:🧵 pic.twitter.com/fDbDbRoxje

— Coach AJ 🎯 Mental Fitness (@coachajkings) August 7, 2026

Leadership flows in multiple directions:

Coach - coach

Coach - player

Player - player

A player may see a teammate struggling with something and notice a change in attack footwork or armswing.

Sadie Jaggers said that Gia helped her passing by suggesting she focus on good passes instead of great ones. 

Care for each other, listen, and build trust. 

Lagniappe. Don't "block" at the net; "press over the net." 

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Rotella’s Rules - Short and Simple

Simple is hard...and trainable. 

Adopting rules - or as some say guidelines - increases your probability of success.

Sports psychologist Bob Rotella has rules that I’ve adapted for volleyball. A volleyball player's potential depends on three elements:

• Attitude 
• Short game (either attack or platform skills)
• How well a player thinks

Attitude 

Attitude impacts everything - confidence, energy, resilience. Own an attitude of excellence. Choose to be a great teammate and to excel in your role, while working to enhance your role. 

Coach Scott Celli has said that the team goes over "ten deep." Only six players can be on the court at a time. Setters are generally fixed and some players have the skill to play "All Around" or "All six" as your assistant Coach Gia Vlajkovic did. Embrace and excel in your role.

Short Game 

For most professional golfers, 60-70 percent of shots are putts and wedges. Therefore the saying, "Drive for show and putt for dough." 

Do well what you do a lot. 

Attackers need to excel not only at smashes but tips, rolls, cut shots, tools, and recycles into coverage. 

Defenders have to pass well to setters and in "out-of-system" play. They seldom get to attack. 

Think

Volleyball is a thinking person's game. Sure, pass-set-hit to score is ideal and not so easy. Play with intent: 

• Serve strategically
• Read defenders 
• Choose your attack 
• Get to the block instead of "ball watching" 
• Anticipation boosts efficiency and effectiveness. 

Keep it simple with elite attitude, short game, and decisions. 

Lagniappe. Tip...watch long videos at 1.5 speed. 

Simplify

There’s an old Chinese saying that I love:

“The temptation to quit will be greatest just before you are about to succeed.”

— Reads with Ravi (@readswithravi) August 5, 2026

Abraham Lincoln apologized for the length of a letter because he didn't have time to shorten it. The Gettysburg Address most often is cited as 272 words.

Comedians spend a lifetime 'shaving syllables'.

Occam's Razor says, "The simplest explanation is preferable to one that is more complex." 

Pride yourself on MVB simplicity. "Pass. Set. Hit." 

 

Lagniappe. What was the greatest six word story ever written? "For sale: Baby shoes. Never worn." Brevity is the soul of wit. - from Hamlet, Shakespeare

Sometimes it takes four sets to get it done. 

A Coaching Conversation with AI

All opinions expressed in the blog are solely mine. The blog is not an official publication of any City of Melrose organization. 

One recurrent blog theme here is, "as you advance, become your own coach." Rams Coach Sean McVay says, "everyone benefits from coaching."

Curiosity and openness are growth pathways. We choose whether to walk them or be wedded to conventional wisdom.

Here's a conversation with AI (Chat GPT) using lessons from "Misaeng: Incomplete Life" blending coaching lessons. 

PROMPT: In Misaeng S1 E8, first year employee Baek-ki is disaffected. He feels unappreciated, hated by his superior who has emphasized the fundamentals of the steel industry. It reminded me of "The Karate Kid" where Mr. Miyagi preaches "wax on, wax off" and his pupil, Daniel, embraces process. Baek-ki seems to want to "skip steps" to put in Gregg Popovich terms.

(You may say, TLDR - too long, didn't read. That's fair.) 

I think that's an excellent reading of Episode 8, and I noticed something else that fits your coaching philosophy almost perfectly.

Baek-ki doesn't simply want to skip steps.

He believes he has already earned the right to skip them.

That's an important distinction.

He graduated from an elite university, speaks multiple languages, and entered One International expecting his credentials to translate into immediate responsibility. From his perspective, repetitive work feels like underutilization.

His supervisor sees exactly the opposite.

He sees someone with impressive ability but an incomplete foundation.

That's the conflict.

Miyagi and fundamentals

Your Karate Kid analogy is apt because Daniel initially thinks:

"Waxing cars isn't karate."

Mr. Miyagi knows:

"I'm teaching movements before I'm teaching fighting."

The student judges the task by its apparent relevance.

The teacher judges it by its developmental value.

That tension exists in virtually every coaching environment.

A volleyball player asks:

"Why are we doing another serve-receive drill?"

The coach thinks:

"Because if you can't pass, the offense you want to run won't exist."

Popovich's "skip steps"

You've mentioned Popovich before in this context.

His point has never been:

"Don't dream."

It's:

"Don't bypass the work that makes the dream possible."

Every accomplished player can tell a similar story.

The fundamentals eventually become invisible because they've become automatic.

The novice mistakes invisibility for unimportance.

Baek-ki's deeper mistake***

I think there's another Adlerian layer here.

Baek-ki measures his worth by recognition.

He's asking:

"Why am I not being appreciated?"

His supervisor is asking:

"Are you becoming dependable?"

Those are different scoreboards.

If your identity depends upon being recognized as exceptional, routine work feels insulting.

If your identity depends upon becoming excellent, routine work becomes indispensable.

That's a profound difference.

Contrast him with Geu-rae

This is why Misaeng pairs the characters so effectively.

Geu-rae lacks credentials.

Baek-ki has credentials.

Geu-rae assumes he has much to learn.

Baek-ki assumes he has already learned much of what matters.

Ironically, the less qualified employee becomes the more teachable.

That's a recurring pattern in sports.

The coaching parallel

Every coach has encountered two players.

Player A:

"I've always been the best player."

Player B:

"What do I need to improve?"

The second player often passes the first—not because she begins with greater talent, but because she remains coachable.

John Wooden used to say that it's what you learn after you know it all that counts.

Baek-ki thinks he knows enough.

His supervisor thinks he's just beginning.

Something I suspect you'll appreciate

Episode 8 isn't anti-ambition.

It's anti-entitlement.

There's nothing wrong with wanting responsibility.

The problem is confusing:

potential with readiness.

That's another theme you've written about repeatedly.

You have no seniority system.

Freshmen can contribute.

Veterans can lose playing time.

The question isn't:

"Who deserves the opportunity?"

It's: "Who is prepared to help us win today?"

Preparation precedes opportunity.

This connects with your "become your own coach" idea

The athlete who eventually becomes her own coach has first spent years mastering fundamentals.

Nobody becomes an autonomous learner by skipping the basics.

That's why Popovich, Miyagi, and Baek-ki's supervisor all sound strangely similar despite living in different worlds.

They are saying:

The fundamentals are not delaying your development. They are your development.

Perhaps the coaching lesson is this:

Beginners want variety. Experts understand the value of repetition. Masters discover endless depth in the fundamentals.

Or, borrowing from Miyagi:

There is no "wax on, wax off" phase and then volleyball. The fundamentals were volleyball all along.

That last idea also explains why your blogs return repeatedly to serve receive, communication, footwork, reading, and blocking. Twenty years later, you're still teaching fundamentals—not because you've run out of advanced topics, but because you've come to believe the advanced game emerges from extraordinarily well-executed basics. 

***One historic criticism of Melrose was the volleyball was "simple." The reality of Coach Celli's system is that it's about execution of simple, not trying to trick people with complexity. 

In every industry, "employees" have to master the basics. Then you have to prove yourself with 'routine performance' and when that happens, you earn more complex tasks, responsibility, and trust. 

Lagniappe. Find more ways to say, "Yes." 

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Department of Redundancy Department

THIS: pic.twitter.com/IVDomsoZBj

— Reads with Ravi (@readswithravi) August 3, 2026

Goals inhabit a lot of literature. Goals sometimes feel "over the horizon." Process isn't. Process prioritizes the here, the now, the "this is what we're doing today to improve."

One percent daily improvement earns 37+ fold improvement over the course of a year.  

Discipline defines destiny.

Consistency in process fosters unimaginable gains.  

Belief is earned through discipline and consistency. 

Strong cultures help ordinary people accomplish extraordinary things together.

Enduring Lessons - ChatGPT Plus Extracts Messages from Over 5,000 Posts

Ten Enduring Lessons from 5,600 Volleyball Posts

After writing more than 5,600 volleyball blog posts over the past two decades, I've become less convinced that success comes from discovering the next clever drill or offensive wrinkle. Those matter, but they aren't the foundation.

Championship programs tend to share enduring principles. Here are ten that have stood the test of time.

1. Character Is Skill Number One

Talent opens doors.

Character determines how long they stay open.

Teams improve faster when players are accountable, coachable, dependable, and willing to put the team first.

Everything flows from your ability to "get after it" even on days when you don't feel like it. 

2. Every Day Is Player Development Day

Improvement isn't reserved for practice plans labeled "skill work."

Every repetition, every film session, every conversation, every match is an opportunity to improve.

Development is a daily habit, not an event.

What is your improvement plan for today? 

3. The Game Rewards Reading

Volleyball is more than execution.

The best players read the setter, anticipate the hitter, recognize tendencies, and solve problems before the ball crosses the net.

Seeing the game is often more valuable than reacting to it.

Volleyball is a thinking person's sport. Attention to detail pays dividends.

4. Hard Work Is a Skill

Effort is not merely an emotion.

It is a habit.

Players learn to communicate early, pursue every ball, recover after mistakes, and compete when they don't have their "A" game.

Champions rarely rely on motivation alone.

Hard work is an extension of toughness.

5. Process Produces Performance

Scoreboards measure outcomes.

Championships are built through preparation, communication, discipline, recovery, and attention to detail.

Focus on the process.

Results usually follow.

Trust the process. 

6. Become Your Own Coach

The best athletes gradually require less external instruction.

They evaluate themselves honestly.

They solve problems during competition.

They make adjustments before someone tells them to.

Eventually, they become active participants in their own development.

Develop the ability to "train yourself up" with outside resources. 

7. Contribution Is Bigger Than Recognition

Every player wants to contribute.

Not every contribution appears in the box score.

A timely communication, a disciplined block, an intelligent cover, positive energy, or making a teammate better all influence winning.

Strong teams ask, "How can I help us win?"

"It's great to be part of a team."

8. Adversity Reveals More Than Success

Anyone can be positive when everything is going well.

Championship teams reveal themselves when momentum changes, mistakes happen, injuries occur, or expectations aren't met.

Resilience isn't built during easy days.

It's revealed during difficult ones.

Do. Not. Quit. 

9. Leadership Is Service

Leadership isn't about status.

It's about responsibility.

The best captains encourage teammates, uphold standards, tell the truth, and consistently show up.

They make the people around them better.

Serving your "community" is a worthy priority. 

10. Never Stop Learning

The greatest coaches and players remain students.

Books, clinics, opponents, history, psychology, military strategy, business, medicine—wisdom has many sources.

The sport evolves.

So should we.

There is a continuum of achievement - "legacy" - that you belong to. "Leave the jersey in a better place." 

---

Melrose Volleyball has earned a tradition of excellence because generations of players embraced these ideas.

The uniforms change.

The opponents change.

The rules occasionally change.

The principles rarely do.

The challenge for every new season is simple:

Honor the standard.

Improve every day.

Leave the program stronger than you found it.

What I find most interesting is that, despite writing thousands of posts, your philosophy has actually become simpler, not more complicated.

Almost everything you've written can be traced back to three recurring themes:

• Teamwork
• Improvement
• Accountability

Those aren't just slogans. They are the operating system from which nearly every lesson in your blog naturally follows.