Ben McCollum said, "Your job is to not be here for yourself - but it’s to be here for everybody else."
— Coach AJ 🎯 Mental Fitness (@coachajkings) September 3, 2026
Great teams are built of selflessness.
• You show up for each other.
• You sacrifice for each other.
• You win with each other.
(@IowaHoops)pic.twitter.com/1TvWjfbDY9
Great culture is about team, playing relentlessly for those around us.
The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz has a big following. The fourth, "Always do your best," resonates for many. Coaches help players and teams build character and competence.
The second section of Colin Powell's book It Worked for Me, starts with a chapter, "Always Do Your Best, Someone Is Watching."
One pundit said he noticed a kid shooting repeatedly half an hour before summer camp activities started. The kid turned out to be Steph Curry. As Bill Walsh wrote, "Champions behave like champions before they are."
The best take pride in their preparation, not just performance. When you give your best, it limits regret. Regret stays with us.
How many times in our lives has opportunity arisen because someone saw us giving our best and intervened to help? It doesn't matter whether their motive was altruism or self-interest. It's satisfying to have the resourcefulness to pull yourself up by the bootstraps. It's another to be gifted boots.
Reflect on the many tryouts you've attended or supervised.
Summary:
KOBE BRYANT’S 10 RULES:
— Vala Afshar (@ValaAfshar) May 28, 2026
1 Get better every day
2 Prove them wrong
3 Work on your weaknesses
4 Execute what you practiced
5 Learn from greatness
6 Learn from wins and losses
7 Practice mindfulness
8 Be ambitious
9 Believe in your team
10 Learn storytelling pic.twitter.com/FyW09L7Hjl
"Trust the process." North Andover traveled to Melrose for the second preseason scrimmage, affording Coach Scott Celli the opportunity to tinker with lineups. Of course, players also get valuable experience.
Knights and Day
The tempo seemed a little muted relative to Monday as North Andover didn't have as much firepower as Lynnfield, although their defense was certainly credible.
Minor Adjustments
Absent as much 'net power' as Lynnfield, Melrose had fewer opportunities to tune their blocking. They'll continue to work on pressing over the net as opposed to getting hands up.
Foreshadowing
It's unreasonable to expect the Second Coming of the "Great Wall" of Johnson and Wyland. Yet, possibilities lurk with "force" at the net with new combinations. It's early to 'name names'.
Rust-oleum
Don't expect midseason form after a few practices. Often the early season defense is ahead of the offense as the pass-set-hit timing requires time and repetitions.
Communication and Collaboration
On-court talk and teamwork continued to grow. Sadie Smith's setting is a strength and the experience of Anna Burns helps mitigate the difficulty of "out of system" play.
Depth Charge
Melrose has an abundance of defensive talent. They return Burns, Danni DiGiorgio, Gen Overlan, and Kayla Ton as primary defenders. They also have extensive defensive experience with Swiss Army Knives Alisa Dautovic, Elise Marchais, and Adriana Santoriello, who played libero in the offseason.
A couple of practices this week setup the big PlayDay Saturday at Winchester which will help players "state their case" to work their way into the early season rotation.
Lagniappe. Seek wisdom through experience. Life shares lessons with us every day, often not necessarily what we want to hear but we need to know.
The main pillar of inner peace is learning to detach from the need for external validation. It’s OK to appreciate it, but needing it is a dangerous trap that gives your power away.
— Alan Stein, Jr. (@AlanSteinJr) September 2, 2026
You are seen, heard, and valued.
Seek contribution not recognition or validation. Human nature, as expressed by Maslow's Hierarchy, is what it is.
Coach Stein is wise to advise not becoming dependent on validation from others.
Anton Myrer's Once an Eagle is a classic novel about military experience, centered around a not subtle comparison between two men - Sam Damon and Courtney Massengale.
The book is exhausting and graphic (2000 pages). Don't read it. This ChatGPT summary has merit:
Sam Damon is the moral center of Anton Myrer's Once an Eagle. He is deliberately constructed as the counterweight to Courtney Massengale: Damon pursues responsibility; Massengale pursues advancement. The publisher's own description captures the distinction—Damon puts “duty, honor, and the men he commands above self-interest,” while Massengale advances through connections and political maneuvering.
For me, Damon's character rests on several traits:
That explains why Once an Eagle has had such extraordinary staying power in American military leadership education. Damon became an archetype of the field commander—the leader whose legitimacy flows upward from competence and downward from the trust of his people rather than from proximity to powerful people.
This is where I think the novel becomes considerably more interesting.
His devotion to duty extracts an enormous price from Tommy and his family. The qualities that make him an extraordinary soldier sometimes make him an inadequate husband and father. One thoughtful military critique argues that readers make a mistake by reducing the book to Damon good/Massengale bad: Damon has genuine shortcomings, while Massengale possesses abilities—political intelligence, organizational maneuvering, strategic networking—that leaders actually need when used honorably.
That's an important distinction for coaching.
Damon's lesson isn't:
Ignore ambition. Ignore politics. Sacrifice everything for the mission.
It's closer to:
Never allow ambition to become the mission.
And that fits remarkably well with the coaching principles you've been developing. The Damon coach would be a truth-teller, technically competent, demanding but compassionate, willing to accept responsibility when things go badly and give players credit when things go well. Most importantly, players aren't instruments of the coach's success; the coach is entrusted with helping players succeed.
Massengale asks:
What will this do for my career?
Damon asks:
What does the situation require of me?
That may be the enduring character lesson of Once an Eagle: leadership isn't primarily about possessing authority. It's about accepting responsibility.
And there is a very Wooden-like paradox buried in Damon: the person least preoccupied with getting credit often becomes the person others most want to follow.
Be the person, the player, and the leader whom others want to follow.
This LinkedIn article addresses a goal setting system...pioneered by a baseball player, Shohei Otani. Some say that he is the best player who ever lived. I'm inclined to agree.
Here are some "core beliefs."
1) Trust the process. Your coaches put you in position to succeed.
2) Make process primary. "The score takes care of itself."
3) "Always do your best." That requires no regret, no apologies.
4) Focus. Be present. Play in the moment. "Next play."
5) Play for the girl next to you. Win together.
6) Radiate joy. Whether you're a starter or a reserve, show the joy.
7) Be a great teammate. Be the person that makes others better, whom others want to play with.
8) Carpe diem... Latin for "seize the day." If you're out with an injury, read the opposing server, the setter, the attack, the defense and you'll become quicker upon your return.
Sport is about the experience. At a meeting last night, a local resident told me what he heard from a volleyball parent - how excited their daughter is about the experience.
Cultivate multiple
Kingman, Dave Kingman. He had a 16-year Major League Baseball career, hitting 442 home runs. What's not to like? During that time he had 17 "Wins above replacement" (WAR) about one a year. He struck out a lot and was a terrible fielder. He was a home run specialist.
Contrast the WAR of the Red Sox Cedanne Rafaela (5.5) and Wilyer Abreu (5.4) with a month to go in the season. Rafaela has 13.4 career WAR and hasn't turned 26. At age 27, Abreu has 13 career WAR.
There's value in becoming an "anti-specialist" (generalist) who adds value in multiple areas that get and keep you on the court. You don't need every skill to earn coaching trust, but you need "separating skills" for your position.
Front row players need to attack and block. The DS needs to dig, pass, serve, and make "out of system" plays. Setters must set, defend, block, and attack with "demonstrated reliability."
The anti-specialist isn't great at everything. She gives the opponent little to attack.
Imagine two outside hitters. Player A crushes the ball but struggles in serve receive, gets tooled, doesn't cover well, and is error-prone. Player B is an 'adequate' hitter but passes, serves, blocks, covers, communicates, reads well, and keeps tough balls alive. Which player adds more value over a hundred plays?
Volleyball is good exposing weakness because opponents can choose whom and where to attack. The anti-specialist separates by hard to chase off the court.
Consider a central coaching insight:
Availability earns opportunity. Reliability earns minutes. Versatility keeps them.
Especially on defense, you become indispensable through consistency. Anna Burns makes plays like the "volleyball robot" - she gets to balls, makes good decisions, and passes well. Coaches don't have to think about her. Less glamorous skills but valued ones.
If you want more time, ask "What weakness could force my coach to substitute me out?" Reduce that weakness. Become the player that a team doesn't want to hide.
"Do well what you do a lot." When a team has players like that across the roster, they become a tough out. "Reliability everywhere" and "excellence somewhere" is a potent force. Separate yourself.
Lagniappe. Standards vs rules...
"Standards are for people who aspire to do special things. Rules are for people who can't follow directions."
— The Winning Difference (@thewinningdiff1) August 31, 2026
-Tim Corbin
Rules create order.
Standards create separation.
The teams that do special things expect more than what is simply required. pic.twitter.com/Ukkh0pXSIQ
The best competitors carry two mindsets:
— Greg Berge (@GregBerge) September 1, 2026
Train with the hunger of someone who has never won.
Compete with the confidence of someone who has never lost.
“I train like I’ve never won, and I compete like I’ve never lost.” - Eileen Gu 🔥 https://t.co/VCFVaRAM3r
You probably know the saying, "It isn't the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog."
This shows up as legacy, literature, and film. Consider:
All opinions expressed in the blog are solely my own. The blog is not an official publication of any City of Melrose organization.
*Adapted from my basketball blog
"Share something great." Find a great recipe, quote, movie, book, life hack, or a great play. Share relentlessly. Don Meyer was a great coach and an amazing sharer. Answered questions online...
Coach Michael Neighbors is a sharer, including many "Things I Have Stolen."
Here's an abbreviated list from Leadership maven Jeff Janssen via Coach Neighbors.
At its core, Radical Candor is the intersection of Caring Personally and Challenging Directly. When a parent approaches a coach about playing time, the "Radical" part is being honest about the child's current skill level, while the "Candor" part is doing so without being a jerk.
Here is how to navigate those high-tension conversations using these principles.
In this framework, silence or "sugar-coating" is considered Ruinous Empathy, which ultimately hurts the athlete because they never learn what to improve. Conversely, being blunt without empathy is Obnoxious Aggression.
Do: Focus on the "Future State." Instead of justifying past benching, frame the conversation around the specific growth required to earn more time. This moves the conversation from a complaint to a roadmap.
Do: Schedule a "Cooling Off" Window. Radical candor requires presence of mind. Implement a "24-hour rule" after games so that both parties can move out of an emotional state and into a collaborative one.
Do: Provide Objective Benchmarks. Use data or specific technical milestones. "I care about your child’s development, and right now, their defensive rotation is at a level that limits their safety/efficacy in high-speed play."
Don't: Discuss Other Athletes. Radical candor is about the individual relationship. Comparing a child to a teammate is a shortcut to "Obnoxious Aggression" and creates a toxic culture.
Don't: Use the "Feedback Sandwich." (Positive-Negative-Positive). Parents often listen for the "bread" and ignore the "meat." Be direct about the performance gap immediately, then pivot to how you will support the child in closing it.
Don't: Take it Personally. When a parent isn't "listening," they are often in a state of protective bias. Maintain your "Care Personally" stance by staying calm, even if they become confrontational.
When a parent is too emotionally invested to hear the truth, the coach must shift from feedback to boundary setting.
If the parent refuses to acknowledge the performance gap, a tactful response looks like this:
"I hear how much you want [Child's Name] to be on the field; I want that for them, too. However, my responsibility to the team and to [Child's Name]’s safety is to play those who have mastered [Specific Skill]. I am happy to keep working with them on this, but my decision on playing time stands for now. Let's touch base in two weeks to see their progress."
| Quadrant | Coach's Response Style | Outcome |
| Radical Candor | Clear, kind, and evidence-based. | Growth and trust. |
| Ruinous Empathy | Avoids the truth to keep the parent happy. | Stagnation and confusion. |
| Obnoxious Aggression | Blunt, dismissive, or insulting. | Resentment and conflict. |
| Manipulative Insincerity | Passive-aggressive or talking behind backs. | Total culture breakdown. |
MVB 26 traveled to Lynnfield to scrimmage the always-skilled Pioneers. In addition to the thirteen returners, newcomers Mia Sasso and Lorena Contin got their varsity feet wet.
The result was competitive, high octane volleyball unexpected in the early preseason.
Coach Scott Celli experimented with a multitude of lineups - a luxury afforded by a young but experienced lineup.
This Is a New Year
With Sabine Wenzel now a D1 middle, the distribution of attacks changes in both direction and predictability. Opponents will not be able to "load up" anticipating a "middle-oriented" offense.
Hit the Ground Running
Melrose's players have had only a few weeks off since the club season ended with high level experience including a roster replete with players who played at the Nationals in Indianapolis. How that translates to ML12 play remains to be seen, but there's not a lot of rust.
Pressure Cooker
The team "played faster" and emphasized aggressive play when appropriate.
Athletes
Sport rewards athleticism in addition to skill, volleyball IQ, and resilience. Melrose has one of its most athletic groups.
Caveat Emptor
Buyer beware. Don't be seduced in the face of "cognitive biases."
In 1972-1973, we jumped rope for five minutes as a basketball practice warm up. High school boys with a children's 'toy'. Coach Ellis Lane said, "Nobody will be in better condition than you are." Can you jump rope for five continuous minutes?
MVB has a tradition of academic excellence dating back three decades. Anyone can learn better by applying proven techniques.
You could take the free Coursera "Learning How to Learn" course or you could use AI as a tutor.
The participants in Adam Grant's podcast argue that improv makes life better.
They say that your job is to make the other people funny. Just as in volleyball, your job is to make your teammates better.
What's an overarching lesson connecting improve and volleyball?
The game is not scripted. Preparation is.
After the serve, responders improvise on both teams. What percent of the game is improvisation? That's hard to know...anything instinctive is.
I asked ChatGPT to help on this on. It did. There's room for commentary.
Prepare to improvise. Improv isn't the absence of preparation. Good improvisers have accumulated patterns, structures and experiences that allow them to respond quickly. That's exactly your chess “chunking” idea. A coach can't anticipate every situation, but can build a large enough library that fewer situations are genuinely new. You don't prepare the answer; you prepare yourself to find the answer.
“Yes, and” beats “No, but.” The fundamental improv principle is accepting what your partner gives you and building upon it. In coaching, reality is your scene partner: your setter is struggling, the opponent has changed defenses, the official is calling the match tightly. Accept the new reality first. Then add the solution. Arguing with reality wastes possessions.
Listen to understand what happens next. Weak improvisers are planning their next line while somebody else is speaking. Weak players do the sporting equivalent: they decide what they're going to do before reading the play. Great players see → interpret → respond. That is essentially the foundation of your volleyball reading work.
Good players become excellent players by reading the play to anticipate what comes next. Excellent players will try to disguise their intention.
If a serve leads to a difficult pass or out-of-system pass from zone 6, it's unlikely that the passer can create a middle attack. Read early to see the pin attack.
Make your teammates look good. Improv collapses when everyone is trying to deliver the funniest line. Sport collapses when everyone wants to make the winning play. The best improviser gives teammates something they can use. In basketball: make the simple pass. In volleyball: give the setter a playable ball. Great teammates improve everybody else's options.
Whether you're outside or middle, you won't get every set and you don't want that because the defense will make your life harder.
Mistakes are information, not endings. An improv scene can't stop because somebody delivered a bad line. The performers incorporate it and continue. That's NEXT PLAY in athletic language. The question isn't “Why did that happen?” during competition. It's “Given that it happened, what do we do now?” Reflection comes later.
After a "mistake" it's either, "Next play" or "reset and keep this point alive." In League of Our Own, Tom Hanks says, "There's no crying in baseball." Feel sorry for ourselves on our own time, not during a match.
Constraints can increase creativity. This is counterintuitive but important. Improv performers aren't helped by infinite possibilities; rules and structures narrow the search space. Sport does the same thing. “We're running pick-and-roll until they stop it” reduces cognitive load. Your principles and systems don't suppress improvisation; they create the boundaries within which intelligent improvisation becomes possible.
Sabine is in East Texas, not Melrose. That allows for a more diversified and less predictable offense. Sometimes less becomes more.
Don't confuse control with leadership. Coaches naturally want control. Games relentlessly remove it. You can't control officiating, injuries, opponent adjustments, bad bounces or whether your best player has her A-game. You can influence the team's response. That's a profound distinction: coaching isn't scripting what happens; it's preparing people who can respond when the script disappears.
The game is for the players. Coach Celli can't think for everyone. Read the play and make the best decision available. Pro sports sees change in acronyms:
NBA = next best answer
NFL = not for long
Psychological safety enables improvisation. Players who fear mistakes become cautious. They stop experimenting, communicating and solving problems. An improv troupe needs enough trust for someone to offer an idea without knowing whether it will work. Teams do too. That doesn't mean eliminating accountability. It means players understand: a good decision that fails is different from a bad decision. Coaches who punish both eventually create players who wait for instructions.
You may have heard the expression, "Don't be a robot." Robots are improving fast, but there's no robot volleyball team yet...
"Practice is process."
MVB 26 prepares for the first scrimmage tomorrow against Lynnfield at 5:00 P.M. at the Huckleberry School.
What are the hallmarks of MVB practice?
Attention to detail
Practice specific skills.
Play with purpose - be intentional.
Accountability
Reinforce playing the right way regardless of outcome.
Correct when necessary.
Positivity
Praise the praiseworthy.
Create and maintain a 'safe space' for mistakes.
Everyone won't he happy all the time. That's the nature of sports. But the process runs with consistency and integrity.
Lagniappe. Another good day for Sabine... (via AI):
Sabine Wenzel had another strong match, particularly at the net defensively.
East Texas A&M beat ULM 3–2 (25–19, 25–19, 20–25, 21–25, 15–13), improving to 2–1. Sabine's line was 11 kills, 4 errors, 24 attempts, .292 hitting, 2 solo blocks + 6 block assists = 8 total blocks, 16 points. She led the entire match with those 8 blocks and was third on East Texas A&M with 11 kills.
Through her first three Division I matches, her offensive totals are now:
| Match | K | E | TA | Hit % | Blocks |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Texas Southern | 8 | 1 | 14 | .500 | 1 |
| Southern Illinois | 12 | 1 | 22 | .500 | 3 |
| ULM | 11 | 4 | 24 | .292 | 8 |
| Total | 31 | 6 | 60 | .417 | 12 |
So her season hitting percentage is now .417: (31−6)/60.
What impresses me most today isn't the .292. That's a perfectly good number after the almost unsustainable .500/.500 opening. It's the eight blocks in five sets. The official box has her with two solos and six assists, accounting for 8 of East Texas A&M's 10 team blocks.
For a freshman middle after opening weekend:
31 kills — .417 hitting — 12 blocks — team 2–1.
Melrose starts the exhibition season off Monday with a road tilt versus Lynnfield, a perennial contender, at 5 PM at the Huckleberry Hill School.
Coach Scott Celli has emphasized the importance of scrimmages to sort out lineups and playing time when the regular season starts on September 8th.
Enough. You are enough.
Sport challenges you every day - opponents, fatigue, uncertainty.
You start the preseason scrimmages Monday (Lynnfield 5 PM unless I hear otherwise).
Focus. Be present. Compete. You are enough.
Volleyball is a thinking person's sport. It requires spatial awareness, understanding geometry, angles, and split-second vision, decisions, and execution.
Here's a play from Brooke Bell during the magical 2012 season. It's not solely the execution but reading the defense before the play is made.
I’m a Thursday’s child. The saying “Thursday’s child has far to go” can point toward achievement, growth, or the ongoing need for improvement.
Bill Parcells said, “Confidence comes from proven success.” It can’t be manufactured or sold. It must be earned.
Every day is showtime. Show up and bring receipts. The court is a laboratory; practice is an experiment. Excellence begins with ordinary work done extraordinarily well.
How we perform under stress defines us as parents, workers, and students.
Athletes make mistakes and coaches make poor decisions, but neither makes them bad people. Coaches who say “You’re worthless” reveal more about themselves than the player. Great coaches critique behaviors, not identities.
A title doesn’t create value or earn respect. Leadership, compassion, and wisdom aren’t bestowed by titles. Authority differs from behavior, judgment, and wisdom.
Coach Amos Alonzo Stagg reportedly said, “Ask me in twenty years and I’ll be able to give you a better answer.” Leaders make leaders. Judge coaches by the people who emerge from their program.
Seek contribution, not recognition. Game‑day performance reflects people, strategy, and execution—much shaped in practice. Reserves and assistants are vital. Leaders who claim credit and distribute blame don’t understand leadership.
“An empty barrel makes the most noise.” Flowing water carves canyons through relentlessness, not force. Bring consistency every day.
Listening respects others. Embracing coaching respects the time, experience, and knowledge of teachers and mentors.
A 1% daily improvement becomes more than 37 times better over a year. Small gains accumulate. The chessboard and grain‑of‑rice story illustrates exponential growth.
“Pressure is a privilege.” Weak teams never feel pressure because expectations are low. Strong teams earn meaningful games.
“The best way to get respect is to give it.” Loud critics often haven’t won the most. Credibility comes first.
Do not quit. Sometimes courage is quiet persistence despite adversity or uncertainty.
Baduk (Go) teaches that victories come from hundreds of small, seemingly insignificant moves. Attention to detail separates excellence.
Clear your head. Take a breath. Create cognitive space. Leaders pause and think.
Life and coaching revolve around relationships. We have organizational charts and relationship charts. Ignoring either creates blind spots.
Everyone wants to be seen, heard, and valued. Two coaching reminders stand out: “Never be a child’s last coach” and “How does it feel to play for me?”
Trust is earned through repeated actions. Playing time isn’t earned through speeches or gestures—only reliability.
A road is created by those who keep walking. Footwork, platform skills, service, blocking, and more are built through repetition. You construct them one day at a time.
In Go, misaeng means an incomplete life or unsettled group - not yet secure, not yet fully alive. None of us is finished. We are all becoming.
Lagniappe. Improving.
