Better Conversations*

*Partially based on a MasterClass from Alison Wood Brooks

Most people say that conversation is not their strength. This is different, for example, that 80 percent of drivers say they are better than average.

Dr. Brooks shares simple hints to improve conversation. All of us can benefit. Conversation is a skill. 

Remember the acronym TALK 

TALK stands for topic, ask, levity, and kindness. 

Topics: Prepare (mentally or written) topics you can share with another person. Those would allow you and your conversation partner, especially if not well known, a degree of comfort. We'll start with volleyball - because that is why you're here. 

Ask: Have some questions and work on developing better questions. You might not guess the type of questions that I'd want to know about MVB. 

• Who is the funniest? I might guess Ella or Amelie. I have no idea.. 
• Who is the loudest and the quietest? 
• Who is the goofiest? "What was that?" 
• Who is the most serious?

Think about engaging questions. 

Levity (humor): Think back to the SUCCESS acronym - simple, unexpected, concrete, credible, emotional stories. Humor is often unexpected, especially from a 'serious' person. 

Who was the MVB career "Most Talkative?" Maggie Turner. What if she came in and said, "I'm not talking to you...(pause)...for the ten seconds." That would be a little funny. 

Levity isn't easy as don't confuse humor with sarcasm or hurting people's feelings. 

Kindness: We've all been on both ends of unkindness. Think of the "Silver Rule" - "Do not do unto others as you would not have them do unto you." Pull up (mentally) the "THINK" acronym. 

School and sports help you make friends for a lifetime. In a world of eight billion people, that reflects a kind of fate, 'kismet'. 

Develop your conversation skills and they will repay you over and over. 

Lagniappe. Baseball is a sport where if you get a hit three times out of ten, you're an All-Star. It's a failure sport. Every sport, every athlete knows failure. Work with it. 

We have to be elite at recovering after a mistake. pic.twitter.com/kzMf6zcArM

— Morgan Stuart (@MorganStuart18) September 16, 2026

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Anything Is Possible

Sarah McGowan got her 'second chance' at the Melrose Athletic Hall of Fame induction as she was unable to attend the last ceremony.

A consensus member of the MVB Mount Rushmore elite, she starred on the 2012 State Title team, displaying exceptional individual ability. 

Her acceptance speech emphasized the experience and thanks to people who made a difference - Coach Scott Celli, teammates, and exceptional storytelling in the program. And she thanked her husband for allowing to relive her volleyball career far too often. 

 

Melrose - Lexington Stats

All opinions expressed in the blog are solely my own. The blog is not an official publication of any City of Melrose organization. 

Stats are up at Maxpreps.com

'There are three kinds of lies - lies, damned lies, and statistics." - Abraham Lincoln 

Highlights:

Attacking (kills)

• Sabrina 8
• Elise 7
• Amelie 6

Serving (service points)

• Anna 13
• Dani 8
• Alisa 7

High aces reduce kills; team stats 91.8% serve percent

Digs

• Anna 14
• Dani 12
• Gen 8

Assists

• Sadie 21
• Anna 3

Receptions

• Anna 21
• Dani 7
• Gen 7

What doesn't show up in statistics? "Got to have it" plays decide games. Melrose closed out the first set from a 23-23 tie and the second from a 22-22 tie. Early in the third set, Alisa had a service run that made a difference. 

Lagniappe. An abbreviated history of nicknames. The best nicknames stick because they 'resonate'. You have to be careful because some nicknames stick when they shouldn't. And I cannot publicly tell the greatest nickname story ever, told to me by a patient who earned the nickname as a four year-old... 
 

"Quarter Pole" - A Season Like No Other

Coach Scott Celli had never experienced anything like the torrent of injuries brought upon MVB 26.

• Quad-Captain Ella Friedlaender out for the season
• Leila Kiggundu with a variety of injuries
• Alisa Dautovic, a foundational piece, available only lightly
• Adriana Santoriello, another keystone, missed two games and played hurt

MVB isn't trafficking in excuses. They've played four of five road matches and no 'weak sisters'. They're 3 and 2; this time last year they were 2 and 3. 

They've lost two games to two powerhouse undefeated teams and played competitively against both. 

"And then what?" 

After a solid win against 3-1 Ipswich, they played their best defense and served well to beat undefeated Lexington. Now they get a couple days off to heal their wounds. 

Former Patriots Coach Bill Parcells says, "You are what your record says you are." They can live with that. 

Lessons Learned

Depth has "antifragility" limitations. Bill Belichick speaks of "ability and durability." He knows what he's talking about. 

"Next player up." Many players have filled and expanded roles. Maggie Shoemaker and Lorena Contin have performed well in the middle and Elise Marchais and Sabrina McArt have punched above their weight outside. "Lefty" Amelie Johnson has allowed offensive diversity as a power hitter from the right pin. 

2025 ML12 All-star Sadie Smith has picked up where she left off and added more attack to her game. She's among state leaders in assists. The "core defense" of Anna Burns, Gen Overlan, and Dani DiGiorgio has been solid and played their best all-around game yesterday. Kayla Ton had a career best contribution yesterday. 

MVB 26 is in a good spot having survived the opening salvos and played with limited availability from potentially "All-Star" players in Adriana and Alisa. 

Presume that every ML12 game will be a battle and relish the reality that "iron sharpens iron."  

And the youngbloods are getting exposure to some musical history... Willie Nelson said "there are two kinds of people, those who love Emmylou Harris and those who haven't met her." 

 

 

 

ML12 Standings (Top 8)

This season the ML12 migrates to playing each member once and then "in -season playoffs" occur among teams 1-4, 5-8, and 9-12.

Here are the current standings among the Top Eight. 

Much volleyball remains to be played. 

 

The Play Within the Play

View on Threads

Volleyball challenges players to "action continuity."

Serve -> Defensive realignment

Reading the server -> Defensive adjustment 

Attack -> Coincident coverage 

Reading the hitter -> Defensive adjustment  

Free ball over -> Defensive reset 

Reading the setter -> Block realignment

Coaches preach "Play to the whistle..." for a reason.

What is the next job? Do it and finish the play.  

  

 

 

 

 

It's Hard to Put the Toothpaste Back in the Tube*

All opinions expressed in the blog are solely my own. The blog is not an official publication of any City of Melrose organization. Adapted from my basketball blog*

Coaches are educators. Effective education changes both thinking and behavior. 

Current controversies surrounding music personalities and the Houston Texans and Kyrie Irving show the complexity and emotion crossing disciplines and geopolitics. 

Student-athletes are partly insulated from "the real world," yet should think about their communications. 

Practical Applications

Cognitive dissonance explains the difficulty and psychological discomfort in holding opposing viewpoints simultaneously. Maturity includes tolerating the discomfort of mixed judgments. You can admire the player and reject the opinion. You can dislike the speaker and concede the point.

Stoicism reminds us that we are not obligated to hold an opinion on everything. 

Likewise, we are not obligated to share our opinion, recognizing that opinions spark controversy.

A team, employer, sponsor, fan, teammate, or consumer may react to speech in ways the Constitution does not prohibit. An employer may consider our words a "fireable offense" or a governing body might pull our license. 

Legal constraints such as libel and slander also might constrain our communication. It is noteworthy that political speech from some elected officials has protection. 

Putting the toothpaste back in the tube can become a Herculean task.  

Cancel Culture 

"Cancel culture" applies when organizations or individuals are boycotted or shunned because of their publicly held beliefs. It's people imposing social or economic consequences on speech they consider unacceptable.

"I'm done with him" or "Bye, Felicia." 

Decades ago, Toshiba sold super-secret submarine quieting technology to the Soviet Union. I chose not to buy Toshiba products, not exactly a company-breaker.

Wealthy organizations and basketball superstars often choose not to comment on politics not wanting their "ox to be gored." That's rational to avoid offending fans with different beliefs, attitudes, and values. It's probably more the norm than the exception. 

No Easy Answer

One question is "why should we care about celebrity opinion?" A talking head says, "Shut up and dribble" and we can agree, disagree, or choose to ignore both the source and the target.

Each of us sets boundaries for our attitudes, choices, and effort. Many of us learn "children should be seen and not heard" and later "never discuss religion and politics." Life shows us that both are violated consistently. 

Before speaking, ask three questions:

• Do I know enough?
• Does this need to be said?
• Am I prepared to own the consequences?

Know what you believe and why you believe it. Choose words and opinions carefully and be prepared to stand behind them. 

Lagniappe. Learning to overcome adversity is both essential and a process.  

Nick Saban shares an universal truth about resilience and overcoming adversity.

"You gotta have resiliency. You gotta be able to overcome adversity."

"There can be no great victories in life unless you can overcome adversity."

"You gotta be able to overcome it."

The problem?… pic.twitter.com/RmVRWuw4aw

— Coach AJ 🎯 Mental Fitness (@coachajkings) September 11, 2026

 

 

 

 

   

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Game 5: Melrose 3 Lexington 0

Melrose played its fourth road game of the campaign, traveling to always tough Lexington (2-0), emerging with a 25-23, 25-22, 25-22 sweep.

The win gets Melrose to 3-2 and levels its ML12 record at 2-2. 

The word for the day was resilience, as Melrose continues short-handed with Adriana Santoriello out and Alisa Dautovic playing at most half time as she recovers from injury. Leila Kiggundu remains out. Ella Friedlaender is out for the season. 

The first set was pretty much an exchange of punch for punch. Melrose had a good start from "Lefty" Amelie Johnson with three early kills and excellent defense from the back among Anna Burns, Dani DiGiorgio, and Gen Overlan. 

It was anyone's set until Melrose captured the final two points from 23-23 to take the lead. 

The second set was mostly more of the same, punching and countering from the unbeaten Minutewomen. Their excellent setter, sophomore Ela Sari continually created high danger chances for the Lexington front line. 

Again Melrose hung close throughout and closed out the set from 22 all with a three point run. Kayla Ton had a couple of key serves off the bench and Sabrina "Air" McArt pounded home critical attacks. 

The third set was a different animal. Lexington opened up a quick 4-2 lead before an error gave Melrose the serve. Alisa "Sundance" Dautovic burned in three consecutive rockets to put Melrose in front. 

Melrose extended the lead and had what seemed like a prohibitive 23-16 lead. The young Lexington team refused to fold and forced Melrose skipper Scott Celli to take a pair of timeouts down the stretch. At 24-22, Elise Marchais scored with an outside attack and MVB captured the win in the shadow of Battle Green. 

Three up:

An impossible task as pretty much everyone who played added to the win. The back row played their most consistent match of the season.

 

Melrose will get a few days off before back to action with a homestand next week. Getting healthy is the top priority. 

More on these matches will follow in the ensuing days.  

Melrose Notes:

Lexington is getting underway on their new $656 million dollar high school. Expect the athletic facilities to be top notch. 

Melrose traveled well with an enthusiastic cheering section. Noteworthy that Lacy and Devin, Alisa's martial arts instructor, made the trip from Melrose. 

 

The Essence of Coaching

Consider investing some of your time in coaching young players someday. You get a taste at clinics and camps.

One group shared some of what they learned after the season. I kept many of the cards. 

 

State Leaders

Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid was epic. The movie takes cinematic license with the personalities, but they were real. 

You can't fake high performance. It is not all about numbers but most solid players put up good numbers. 

Here are the updated MaxPreps.com state leaders:

Attacking:

With only three games and one on the DL, Adriana is at number 26 in kills.

Ball handlers:

Even with far fewer sets played than the top assist guys, Sadie Smith is at number four.

Digs:

Anna Burns is at number eleven. 

And Then What?

Repost.

Wednesday is history. Good work. The question becomes, "And then what?"

As a competitor in any domain, you face new challenges. Respond together and forcefully. 

"One team; one fight." 

Teacher's Pet

Coaches don't see everyone through the same lens. Nobody does. If a patient said, "can I call you, Ron?" I would usually say, "Only my mother wants to call me, Doctor."

Here's how to become the teacher's pet:

• Work hard at all times. (Work ethic)
• Be early, not on time. (Dean Smith Time)
• Be a great teammate, energizing and encouraging others.
• Be positive. "Don't whine, don't complain, don't make excuses."
• Do more than expected. Help with setup, breakdown, and cleanup.
• Show that you want to learn. "How can I do this better?"
• Impact the game. Make others better.
• Improve athleticism. Get the 'wow factor'. 
• Communicate. Communication is intentional; talk is random.
• Lead. Show that you can elevate the team. 

None of this requires a stern face and humorless demeanor. Volleyball is fun. Share your joy. 

Wow factor: the hardest hitters leave a different sound when they strike the ball - Karen Sen, Laura Irwin, Gia, Sadie Jaggers. 

What's special? Ordinary people doing extraordinary things... 

Lagniappe. Grandma's rules. 

• Never humiliate someone in front of their peers. 
• The people who are the hardest to love are the ones who need it most. 
• Rules without relationship lead to rebellion.
• Don't let a bad grade define a good kid. 
• A quiet room is sometimes a fearful room. 
• She said, "I forgot all the test scores. I only remembered the kids who came back years later to say thank you."

"We're Going to Push You"

All opinions expressed in the blog are solely my own. The blog is not an official publication of any City of Melrose organization.

Gerry McNamara told Syracuse on day one of summer practice that championships are built on what you do every single day.

Not one great performance, not one great season, but every day consistently & repetitively.

And when your coach pushes you harder than you think you can… pic.twitter.com/dSBOHVxLb9

— Bryce Butler (@bball_brainiac1) June 4, 2026

Nobody 'shows up' on day one as a finished product. It's work, belief, and time. As a freshman, Sabine had ONE kill. Her single season record didn't arise because she suddenly got taller. She gradually got better. 

Each of you has a unique set of size, skill, volleyball IQ, athleticism, and resilience. Leverage what you have and work to develop what you have less of. 

Success becomes a by-product of those individuals who leverage improving skills and can produce under pressure using competitive character. 

A chosen few earn the label of "dirt dogs," players who are the 'grinders' who don't stop, who will not stop. 

Lagniappe. Get more from your free arm. 

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Oleh Vinichuk | Train Volleyball (@oleh.athlete)

Stats Are Up (Sort of)

Coach Scott Celli posted stats from the Ipswich match and they have come through on the app, yet incompletely on the website (comes up after a short delay)

Attacking leaders:

Johnson and Marchais (7)

McArt and Shoemaker (6)

Assists:

Smith (26)

Serving:

49 service points from 72 serves 

DiGiorgio and Burns (11)

Overlan (10)

Dautovic (8)

Digs:

Burns (14)

Smith (9)

Joy Works!

‼️ Joy is a competitive advantage ‼️

The mainstream perception of ‘good coaching’ is screaming at players, no joking around and no fun on the floor. A lot of coaches, players and fans view fun and hard work as an ‘either, or’.

Every competitive coach struggles with this.… pic.twitter.com/Hu4vzRP3co

— Chris Steed (@csteed) September 16, 2026

Everyone seeks sustainable competitive advantage.

There's an old saying:

Play smart.

Play hard.

Play together.  

All true, all are great advice.

Savor the moment, the experience, your time with friends and teammates, and your youth. Play with joy. 

Lagniappe: quote from Pete Carill. “Light bulbs, that’s what I call them. Light bulbs. There’s an intangible feeling a coach and a player have that you can delight in… They walk on the floor, the light goes on.”

 

Maxpreps Division 2 Rankings

Note: Minimum 3 games. 

1. Scores from yesterday NOT all included which is keeping some schools "off the board." 

2. The only rankings that matter are MIAA which will probably come out late next week. 

3. Note that the rankings recognize "strength of schedule" as Winchester is currently ranked #1 in Division 1 on Maxpreps.com 

 

Commencement Is Irony - A Beginning Not the End

Was not ready for Eric Church to deliver the best commencement speech I’ve ever heard.

Six guitar strings. Six pillars of a life.

Faith. Family. Spouse. Ambition. Community. You.

Tune them when you’re whole, not just when you’re broken.

Watch the whole thing. pic.twitter.com/6d5uY8lPP4

— Dante (@DanteTheDon) May 14, 2026

The bar for what passes as wisdom has fallen. Eric Church shares his philosophy, derived from the six stings on his guitar. 

1. Faith 

"Your faith is the low E of your life." 

John Wooden has "FAITH" flanking the top of his Pyramid of Success. Church encourages us to tend to our beliefs...reminiscent of Voltaire telling readers to "tend to their garden." 

2. Family

"It gives a chord its body."

"Family will rarely demand your time...call your people...let them see you when life is hard." Your family is your rock. 

3. Spouse

"The person you choose to share your life with is the most important decision in your life." 

They amplify the strings or take your instrument apart. "Look for shared values over shared interests."

4. Ambition

"Ambition and resilience live on this string." They pull in opposite directions. 

"The world breaks everyone." - Hemingway  We all fail. Remember that ambitious givers do best. 

5. Community

"Temptation to perform for everyone and to belong to no one."  Put down roots and know those around you. "These are my people."

"Generosity...is how you make it." Take your community along.

6. You

The final string is the thinnest and most easily broken. The comments, criticism, or opinion of others should not change you. 

You are an 'original'. Make your story great. 

All strings will drift. Choose to make music not noise. You need to keep your life tuned. 

Lagniappe. Leadership from Lawson. 

I'm convinced @DukeWBB Coach Kara Lawson is one of the best leaders in sports. This clip on urgency, growth not being linear, and the idea that there is no finish line is superb:

🥱 Need It > Want It. The people who win aren’t always the most gifted, they’re the ones who refuse… pic.twitter.com/ebLXWPs9dh

— Josh Chambers (@JoshChambers) May 4, 2026

Lagniappe 2. The experience, not winning, promotes keeping kids in sports. 

View on Threads

State Leaders

All Massachusetts categories 

Kills: 

Adriana (12)

Elise (27)

Assists:

Sadie (4)

Digs:

Anna (15)

Game 4: Melrose 3 Ipswich 0

Melrose took a rare trip to Ipswich to face the 3-1 Tigers and emerged with a 25-9, 25-16, and 25-11 sweep.

The win levels Melrose at 2-2 as they approach the quarter pole of the regular season.

Coach Scott Celli did a masterful job of managing an injury-depleted lineup with Adriana Santoriello added to the injury list. MVB got Alisa Dautovic back for almost half-time duty, moved Sabrina "Air" McArt outside and rotated senior Maggie Shoemaker and sophomore Lorena Contin into the middle.

The frequent substitution between Sabrina and Alisa creates significant challenges to optimize the lineup. 

Melrose got behind 4-2 early with the rowdy Ipswich student body urging their club on. An Ipswich administrator dampened the applause - consistent with their guidelines. 

Melrose went on a massive run to lead circa 16-5 with a lot going right, including service excellence from Alisa and craft in all zones. 

A key to the performance was excellent "attack distribution" with offense throughout the front row (Sabrina, Elise Marchais, Amelie Johnson, Maggie, and Lorena) and second-ball attacks from setter Sadie Smith and even some pipe attacks. 

The second and third sets saw continued Melrose dominance with the highest volume of aces this season, solid back row play from Anna Burns, Dani DiGiorgio, Gen Overlan, and Alisa. 

Melrose's aggressive serving forced Ipswich to play "out of system" limiting their offense. 

It was Melrose's best all-around outing on the campaign and a result of aggressiveness, consistency, and force. 

Three Up

Alisa Dautovic - she debuted her MVB 26 serve and probably recorded 5-6 aces. She is also one of Melrose's top passers, making everyone else's job easier. 

Sadie Smith - as the setter, she moved the ball around generating quality attacks across the roster. 

Anna Burns/Maggie Shoemaker - the senior libero had her best game of the year, passing consistently and radiating enthusiasm. Maggie displayed excellent decision-making and net craft. 

Melrose Notes: Melrose traveled well with a solid contingent of fans in the loud Tiger gym. 

The team energy level was excellent throughout and the support from the JV was noteworthy.

Melrose travels to Lexington Friday as they have their fourth road match in five contests. 

Stay Frosty and Positive

Positive thinking has unmeasured value. LinkedIn shared a piece about the US Open. It's worth reading.

There's an unmeasurable accounting that happens in sports - the real benefits from both participation and success and the costs in economic terms, expense, and sacrifice.

Some of us have ridden that roller coaster for a lifetime. As ABC's Wide World of Sports once shared in its introduction - the thrill of victory and the agony of defeat. 

Years ago Jeff Mate shared a piece from a Lacrosse publication, "Never be a child's last coach." That's especially true for youth (developmental) sports where children regularly become "human sacrifices" for coaching and (sometimes) parental egos.

When sports promote "National Championships" for under 10s, we've lost part of our sanity. And we know how Norway took a different approach, supporting sport for youth without uber-competition. Somehow, a tiny nation beats the pants off the US in the Winter Olympics. 

Former UNC Women's soccer coach Anson Dorrance only showed his players "positive video." That's not to say they weren't competitive as every practice got scored and every player ranked - top to bottom. 

As sports progresses and competition increases, the scoreboard matters. A child has a far greater chance to become a doctor than a professional athlete and NIL money and college scholarships are not likely for the vast  majority of student athletes. 

What's the bottom line? 

Enjoy the journey not just the destination.

Support your children and their teams. 

Compete intensely while maintaining perspective and sportsmanship.

There is always a "winner" and a "loser" on the scoreboard; help our children win in life.