Emotional self-regulation is a powerful tool. Add it to your others:
Mindfulness including "stop and take a breath"
Visualization
Conventional self-talk
Don't allow yourself to be hurt by "the second arrow."
Don't take personally what others say because their comments often say more about them than they do about you. Some said, "Melrose's game is 'too simple'." Mature simplicity is powerful.
Don't allow emotion to put you in a "bad place" where you cannot perform at your best, decide best, or bring your best version.
In addition to your "identity statement" (this is who I am) and your "performance statement" (this is how I play), recognize and say your emotional state.
Some of you visit at the suggestion of your coaches. The best reason is to extract value daily.
The introductory video shares a framework for your presentations. Use it along with the SUCCESS story acronym to present better;
S - Simple
U - Unexpected
C - Concrete (specific)
C - Credible (believable)
E - Emotional
Ss- Stories
Why?
You want to be seen, heard, and valued. Show out at tryouts. Every day is your opportunity to make an impression.
What?
Be a difference maker at tryouts. Have the "it" factor and the "wow" factor. Defenders read plays and get to balls. Hitters find ways to put the ball down. A few "ball strikers" cause the ball to make a different sound when they hit it...long-time fans know their names.
How?
Bring energy, a positive attitude, teamwork, and hard work. Focus, listen, and be coachable. A young player said that her biggest improvement is defense. There's an expression, "I'm from Missouri. Show me." (Missouri has the nickname of the Show Me state)
Now
Be yourself. Every one of you is special. Bring that to the court.
Lagniappe. The Italian national team used this as their walk-off music after a win.
Give yourself grace. While working to improve your skills, strategy, physicality, and psychology, understand it won't be perfect.
"Chase perfection and catch excellence."
Here's a personal saying that works, "Don't beat yourself up; there will always be someone to do that for you."
Stay positive and "always do your best." That's all you can ask of yourself or anyone can ask of you. You cannot shape a positive life with a negative attitude.
Lagniappe. Practice activities (process) should impact performance. Warmup laps have a rationale - to transition muscles to a ready state. Running stadia (steps) increases aerobid fitness (endurance). Weight training and plyometrics increase power, quickness, and vertical jump.
When Ralph Labella and I watched the UCONN Women practice, the goal was to 'up our game'. It wasn't just about watching great players like Breanna Stewart. UCONN practice was carefully scripted, ran at a high tempo, and was always competitive - whether scrimmaging against men or free throw shooting (recorded percentages).
"Winners are trackers." - Darren Hardy in The Compound Effect
Be able to say, "We're doing this because ________ .
“If it doesn’t impact winning, I don’t want to talk about it,” Geno Auriemma
Your standards guide your choices. Your choices shape your habits. Your habits reveal your priorities. pic.twitter.com/b5OWwNXFa6
All opinions expressed in the blog are solely my own. The blog is not an official publication of any City of Melrose organization.
Don't use AI as a search engine extension. Apply it as a partner to extend your ability to work better, think better, live better. This post shares examples, using ChatGPT Plus that way. My AI "editor" researches and informs principles from the blog.
Prompt: Imagine that I'm a high school student-athlete with enough skill, volleyball IQ, physicality, and mental toughness to make the varsity team and contribute as a freshman. I am committed to contribute at a higher level going forward, while maintaining a competitive GPA, and "work-life balance." What advice would you share with me?
You’re already on the floor as a freshman. That means the ceiling is real.
Now the game shifts from making the team → becoming a difference maker. Here’s how I’d coach you.
1. Define your edge (separate yourself)
Most players try to improve everything. That’s slow.
Pick 2–3 skills that get and keep you on the floor.
Sample edges:
Elite serve receive (earn trust)
Fast, disciplined blocking reads
Relentless defense + communication (ELO: early, loud, often)
Low-error attacking (“ROB shots”: range, open lane, on balance)
👉 Ask your coach:
“What 2 things would get me on the court more?”
Build around that.
2. Reduce errors (this is the fastest path)
Varsity coaches value:
players who don’t give points away
Focus on:
Serve consistency before power
Smart shot selection
Out-of-system decisions
You don’t need more highlights. You need:
fewer “zero percent possessions”
3. Practice with intent
Everyone practices. Few practicedeliberately.
Turn reps into progress
Track: “good reps / total reps”
Set constraints:
“10 perfect passes in a row”
“no missed serves in a set”
Add pressure:
consequences for misses (e.g. pushups)
simulate game fatigue (run a sprint after a drill)
4. Become a problem-solver (volleyball IQ)
Become your own coach while studying film.
Ask:
Where is the setter leaning?
What does this hitter do under pressure?
Where is the seam in the block?
👉 Keep a notebook:
“What I saw”
“What I missed”
“NBA - Next best action”
5. Build your physical base (turn solid into excellent)
You don’t need to be the strongest or the fastest.
You must be:
Quick (first step wins)
Balanced (on every contact)
Durable (available every day)
Focus on:
Core strength
Jump mechanics
Lateral quickness
Sleep (this is performance, not luxury)
6. Excel at Academics creating competitive advantage
Most athletes separate school and sport. That’s a mistake. "How you do anything is how you do everything."
School builds:
focus
discipline
time management
👉 Treat school like practice:
Show up prepared
Do hard things first
Avoid “last-minute chaos”
Elite academics isn't 'for show':
It’s: mental trainingthat builds resilience.
7. Value Work-life balance
Balance doesn’t mean equal time.
It means: right priorities at the right time
Simple system
School hours → school
Practice → full presence
Recovery → real recovery (not scrolling)
Protect:
Sleep
Family time
One thing you enjoy outside volleyball
8. Be a great teammate (this elevates everyone)
Talent gets you noticed. Teammates get you trusted.
Do this:
Communicate (ELO)
Celebrate others (Mudita: "Your joy is my joy")
Own mistakes quickly (accountability)
Bring energy every day
Coaches play: reliable competitors
9. Grow Year-to-year (mindset matters)
Freshman → Sophomore
Reduce errors
Earn trust
Sophomore → Junior
Expand skill set
Handle pressure
Junior → Senior
Lead
Make others better
But don't confine yourself to a timeline. This season expectations should be ahead of schedule.
10. Set daily standards
Ask yourself:
“Did I get 1% better today?”
Not in everything. In something that matters.
You don’t need to be spectacular. Bring value consistently in everything you do.Do that long enough…and your role grows.
Lagniappe. You know what's possible, the performance provided by excellent players. Chase perfection and catch excellence.
All opinions expressed in the blog are solely mine. The blog is not an official publication of any City of Melrose organization. *Adapted from my basketball blog.
Some have called Misaeng: Incomplete Life the greatest workplace drama ever made. Misaeng shares an abundance of coaching "dos" and "don'ts."
Here are translatable lessons for coaches.
1. Standards Define Culture
Culture isn't what we write on posters. Culture is what flows from leaders that gets embraced and internalized.
When inappropriate behavior goes unchallenged, it quietly becomes the standard. "Dogging" younger players or "kicking down" has to be prevented. Hierarchy is not hazing.
2. Master the Fundamentals
The most experienced employees and the best coaches never outgrow the basics. Ballhandling, passing, attacks , blocks, and serving need attention daily.
Communication and preparation get everyone on the same page and need emphasis and testing.
3. Earn Responsibility
Misaeng rejects entitlement. Captains and seniors bring more experience and coaches expect a lot from them. Credentials, like previous all-star status don't 'mistake-proof' teams.
As Peter Parker's uncle said, "With great power comes great responsibility."
Gregg Popovich told the Spurs, "Don't skip steps."
4. Separate Roles from Worth
"There is always a pecking order." That doesn't entitle coaches or upperclassment to throw 'juniors' under the bus.
Everyone deserves respect and compassion whether they're the stars or deep reserves. Lower position on the totem pole doesn't nullify human value.
5. Give Credit
Secure team leaders share credit generously. In Adam Grant's "Give and Take" he cites numerous examples where withholding credit cost leaders (Frank Lloyd Wright and Jonas Salk) dearly.
Recognize the contributions of everyone associated with the program - including custodians, quality control assistants, public relations, and donors.
6. Become a Teacher
Many high school coaches are also teachers. Teachers educate; education changes behavior.
Player development shows in many ways, including language. Coach Mike Krzyzewski didn't call pick-and-roll defense "hedge" or "show." Instead he was descriptive, labeling it "fake trap."
Great educators like Richard Feynman had a process: name, explain, research, and simplify. If we can't explain it simply, then we need to be better. "Run and jump" might be called, "trap and go" or "trap and rotate."
Ball movement could be descriptive with "paint touches and ball reversal."
7. Contribution Exceeds Recognition
One of Misaeng's recurring themes. "Who helped us succeed?" The player who comes in off the bench playing shutdown defense or pounding the boards getting extra possessions has great meaning.
Winning depends upon more than "scoreboard" watching.
8. Accept Responsibility
One of the strongest scenes in the series is Mr. Park accepting responsibility with the client.
Coaches and players make mistakes. Leadership begins where excuses end. Coach Wooden's "Don't whine, don't complain, don't make excuses" is eternal.
"Experience is the best teacher, but sometimes tuition is high." Mistakes become tuition when honestly acknowledged.
9. Learn Continuously
Geu-rae succeeds because he remains teachable. The best players in every sport are students of the game. They're in their notebooks and they study video.
Baek-ki struggles because he initially believes he already deserves more. When we show up to the court, we're entitled to nothing.
10. Communicate Early
Most problems originate with relationships. Problems rarely improve through silence. Communication has to start at practice.
Great teams communicate: Early. Loud. Often.
Misunderstandings compound when conversations don't occur, especially when hard conversations are needed.
11. Integrity Has No Small Situations
Warren Buffett says three ingredients for success are intelligence, enegy, and integrity. He adds that without integrity, intelligence and energy are dangerous.
Where does a lack of integrity show up? Moving screens. False hustle. Stat padding. Winners don't cut corners. Small compromises often become larger ones.
12. Build People
Championships, winning, and recognition matter. But another question remains:
How differently do people leave our program than they started here? That's the mark we coaches try to leave.
Studying Process
My study has focused recently on a "Unified Theory of Coaching."
Howard Gardner asks: How do leaders develop?
Alfred Adler asks: What relationships produce growth?
Misaeng asks: How do people become professionals?
Anson Dorrance asks: How do people continually ascend?
Jocko Willink asks: Who owns the problem?
Kevin Eastman asks: What standards separate the best?
Coaching helps craft competence, character, and ownership.
"Misaeng" takes place in a trading company, but it's about player and leadership development.
Legendary investor Warren Buffett practices what he preaches. At a celebrity golf tournament he was offered the ten dollar entry to win $10,000 dollars if he shot a hole-in-one. He declined, saying “If I’m not disciplined in the little things how can I be disciplined in the big things?”
Decide on what values matter to you. Here are ideas:
Work ethic - be the hardest worker
Competitive character
Focus - every day, every rep
Discipline- staying on track, no distractions
Teamwork - “volleyball is sharing”
Resilience- mental toughness
Strength, conditioning and physicality
Learning
Communication
Leadership
Coachability
Sportsmanship
Commitment
Sense of urgency
What do they have in common? They’re “you” values, fully dependent on you. They don’t require coaching or external inputs.
Values, like culture, are yours. Choose them wisely, own them, and use them to set high, non-negotiable standards.
Lagniappe. Find respect in 2026.
Lagniappe 2. Don't be late on defense. Stance, attitude, reading.
