We preach “control what you can control.” But we still wake up thinking about what we can’t.
Coaches live in the margins — where preparation meets uncertainty, and where human nature refuses to follow a game plan. We spend hours on drills, scouting reports, and strategy, yet what lingers after the lights go out isn’t the stat sheet. It’s the intangible — the attitudes, the energy, the focus — all the things that decide close games but can’t be diagrammed or programmed.
What We Can’t Control
Every coach has a list, whether we write it down or carry it around in our head.
We can’t control:
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Team attitude
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Team focus
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Opponent strategy
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Individual self-talk
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Commitment of others
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Distractions
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Outside influences
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Player behavior
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Officiating
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Media opinions
These are the unseen opponents. They drift in and out of every season, touching performance in ways no scout can predict.
You can nudge, teach, and model, but you can’t command consistency of mind. That’s the humbling truth of coaching — we coach people, not algorithms.
What We Can Control
And yet, control isn’t the illusion; it’s the invitation.
We do control:
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Our attitude, choices, and effort
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Our philosophy - who we are, how we play, how we behave
Modeling excellence as an example
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Our preparation — the practice plan, the film study, the scouting details
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Our message and tone — positive coaching that challenges without tearing down
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Our approach toward people, strategy, and operations
Preparation is our peace. The court may be chaotic, but a coach grounded in purpose steadies the ship. “Trust the process” isn’t a slogan — it’s the discipline that keeps chaos from running the show.
The Psychology of Coaching
We tell players to “play present,” but coaches often live in rewind and fast-forward — reviewing the last match while already worrying about the next one. What keeps us up isn’t losing; it’s the fear of not preparing well enough to give our team its best chance.
Coaching is part obsession, part stewardship. When that obsession serves learning, it becomes craft.
So we teach. We prepare. We adapt. We model calm amid chaos. The work is never done, and that’s what makes it sacred.
What Lets Us Sleep
Eventually, the film stops rolling and the mind eases.
The truth is simple:
We can’t control everyone else — only how we show up.
That means how we talk after a tough loss, how we carry ourselves in the hallway the next morning, how we model resilience in front of a team that mirrors our tone.
Mastering ourselves — our habits, our preparation, our reactions — provides the blueprint for our team to follow.
Control the controllables. Let go of the rest.
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