— PickandPop (@PickAndPopNet) April 14, 2025
You never know when your opportunity to make a difference will arise.
News, notes, commentary, and volleyball education
— PickandPop (@PickAndPopNet) April 14, 2025
You never know when your opportunity to make a difference will arise.
All opinions expressed in the blog are solely my own. Nothing within is the official opinion of any Melrose Department.
Hi – I'm reading "Originals: How Non-Conformists Move the World" by Adam Grant, Sheryl Sandberg and wanted to share this quote with you.
"...when I looked at the evidence, I was dismayed to discover that even today, speaking while female remains notoriously difficult. Across cultures, there’s a rich body of evidence showing that people continue to hold strong gender-role stereotypes, expecting men to be assertive and women to be communal. When women speak up, they run the risk of violating that gender stereotype, which leads audiences to judge them as aggressive."
In other words, organizations often see men as assertive and women as "witches." Do the right things, the right way, all the time.
Sport helps women's empowerment adding value to society and your community, regardless of your role.
Everyone leads, directly or indirectly.
"Every storm runs out of rain." - Maya Angelou
Adversity comes and goes. Often the key is to focus to prevent a drop of blood from becoming a torrent. Just as one bad pass can lead to another, a shanked receive can become a series of mistakes.
Focus allows players not to "double down" on errors. Watch any basketball game and see players take a bad shot or commit a turnover and then compound the mistake with a foul.
In "Legacy" author James Kerr shares a secret of the New Zealand All-Blacks rugby team. Keep a "blue head," calm in the face of adversity, instead of the frustrated, angry out of control "red head."
Top players recover instead of experiencing system failure, emotional meltdown. Play fueled by emotion not ruled by it.
Leadership requires you to bring teammates into that posture, too. That's not "it's okay" or "don't worry about it." Say "refocus" or "next play." Leaders carry on and carry their teams.
Lagniappe. Leading with a "blue head."
Lagniappe 2 (video). Line attacks against blocks...
— Henry Ford
Supposedly, a Ford engineer visiting a poultry processing plant came up with the idea of the assembly line. There's no assembly line turning out volleyball players in Melrose. If there were, what would belong?
Restated, how would you build a special player?
1) The "competitive cauldron." Legendary soccer coach Anson Dorrance believes that competition drives excellence and has daily player performance rankings. How did I improve today?
2) Skill development. "Every day is player development day." Improve something every day.
3) Athleticism. Athleticism, strength and conditioning, make you a better player and a more confident player.
4) Confidence. "You can only be as good as you believe you are." Do the work to earn belief. The Yiddish chutzpah reflects audacity which can be either good or bad. The Romans said, "fortune favors the bold."
5) Practice. Play a lot. This develops skill, game understanding, experience, and fosters "intuitive play" as players 'read' plays instinctively.
6) Teamwork. An African proverb says, "we can go faster alone but farther together." Choose teamwork over selfishness.
7) Mentoring. Along the way to becoming your own coach, learn from all the teachers and coaches around you.
8) Standards. Goals are aspirational. Standards reflect performance. Raise your standards. "Champions do extra."
9) Do a 'software' upgrade. What makes that player, coach, or team effective? What one thing will make me better?
Lagniappe. Don't guess. See.
"One group is tasked with writing three good things about their lives; another group has to list twelve good things. Everyone expects the twelve group to be happier: the more blessings you count, the better you should feel about your circumstances. But most of the time, the opposite is true. We’re happier after we list three good things than twelve." - Adam Grant in Originals
A lot reduces to three, including the rhetorical technique of tricolon.
"Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ears." - Mark Antony in Shakespeare's Julius Caesar
"...duty, honor, country." Douglas MacArthur in his famous West Point address
"Teamwork, improvement, accountability."
"Dig, set, kill" became "pass, set, hit."
Score with "serves, attacks, block-kills."
Win with three dynamic hitters, a middle and two outsides are common although Melrose had two excellent middles last season.
There's something magical about three.
Lagniappe. Use it in your presentations.
"We all have a thousand excuses for why we don’t achieve our goals in life. There is one reason: because we failed to prepare properly. There are no excuses." - Erik Kapitulik, The Program
Being part of MVB means commitment to "not average." Excellence requires "more," more time, more discipline, more effort, and more will. Average players never make an MVB roster.
Think about professional athletes. Most were the best player on their team for most of their lives. Even if they outworked others, they still have limits.
Consider former Celtic Henry Finkel. He averaged 27 points a game in his senior year at Dayton, was selected an All-American, and became a second round NBA draft choice.
He was a journeyman center in the NBA, traded to the Celtics in 1969. Later, he was understudy to Dave Cowens, helping the Celtics to an NBA championship in 1974. During his nine year NBA career he averaged five points and four rebounds a game. He is a champion.
Excellence is hard. Do hard better. You're not average.Don’t do the easy wrong; do the hard right.
— The Winning Difference (@thewinningdiff1) April 7, 2025
You have to go against your nature.
It’s not in everybody’s nature to get up every morning & work.
When we don’t have a challenge, we are not our best. That’s what drives us." -Geno Auriemma
📽️@WDWconvo pic.twitter.com/cFDO5Isnuz
Leadership QOTD: pic.twitter.com/Cd1jT1SiNX
— Allistair McCaw (@AllistairMcCaw) April 8, 2025
Choose to lead, regardless of your age or status.
Nick Saban with one of the best definitions of self-discipline:
— Coach AJ 🎯 Mental Fitness (@coachajkings) March 24, 2025
(🎥@Elitesportsos) pic.twitter.com/PLPuNfoEaL
"Here's something I know I'm supposed to do that I really don't want to do...can you make yourself do it...here's something you know you're not supposed to do...can you keep yourself from it."
Quotes don't make players. Actions do. Make choices that promote success.
"We make our habits and our habits make us."
"Discipline defines destiny."
"Leave your comfort zone."
I heard it a thousand times. "There's nothing to do for us in Melrose." Don't make bad choices because you think you have none.
Are you playing to win or playing not to lose? #DailyWisdom pic.twitter.com/JuwS2pnceJ
— Ball is Psych (@BallisPsych) April 7, 2025
Historically, MVB is at its best against better competition. It's never perfect. "Chase perfection."
Every match has potential for growth. Even opponents who are not as strong present an opportunity to work on something - serving to zones, setter dumps, hitting off fingertips or try for tools at the pins.
Step up in the moment. Against Lexington last year, Emme Boyer made a number of game changing plays. Leverage that experience, carrying it forward to 2025.
Lagniappe. Play with purpose in your offseason volleyball. Have intent to improve every practice and every match.
"The mental to the physical in basketball is four to one." - Coach Bob Knight
Ask players about their strategies to fortify their mental game.
Entrepreneur Sara Blakely shared in her MasterClass that her father asked the children each Saturday dinner, "what have you failed at this week?" Failure is our companion on life's journey.
Kelvin Sampson said, "The first step on the ladder of success is always failure."
— Coach AJ 🎯 Mental Fitness (@coachajkings) April 8, 2025
Growth starts when you stop avoiding failure - And start learning from it.
"Immature people don’t understand that there is going to be failure."
(@PawdSlamaJama) pic.twitter.com/sPWo8ciCPw
Examine a few well-known techniques:
1) Visualization. See yourself succeeding. In "Ten-Minute Toughness," Jason Selk proposed a three minute mental "highlight reel."
2) Mindfulness. Most professional athletes and teams have a mindfulness program. Mindfulness reduces stress hormones, increases focus, and decreases anxiety and depression.
3) Self-talk. We behave as we believe. Train ourselves to deliver positive thoughts, positive identity and performance statements.
4) Body positioning. Expansive body positioning is controversial. Studies by Amy Cuddy show that increases in testosterone and decreases in cortisol (stress hormone) occurred after two-minute expanded body positioning.
Actionable: a three minute "body scan" from Chat GPT
A three-minute body scan can be a powerful tool for athletes to enhance performance, recovery, and mental focus. Though often associated with mindfulness practices, a quick body scan is particularly useful in sports because it helps athletes develop body awareness, reduce tension, and improve movement efficiency. Here’s how:
A short body scan encourages athletes to check in with their physical state—where they feel strong, where they feel tight, and how their body is positioned. This awareness helps with injury prevention by identifying small discomforts before they become significant issues.
By systematically relaxing different muscle groups, athletes can release tension built up from training or competition. A brief scan can promote muscle relaxation and circulation, aiding in recovery between efforts.
Athletes often carry unconscious tension in areas like the shoulders, jaw, or lower back. A quick scan helps detect these inefficiencies, allowing them to move with greater ease and coordination.
A body scan doubles as a mental reset, helping athletes clear distractions and direct attention to their bodies before a game or practice. This can be especially useful in high-pressure moments.
By pairing the scan with controlled breathing, athletes activate their parasympathetic nervous system, reducing stress and fostering composure.
Find a quiet space (or use it courtside or in a locker room).
Close the eyes (if possible) and take slow breaths.
Move attention from head to toe (or vice versa), scanning for tension, discomfort, or asymmetry.
Release tension where needed, adjust posture, and refocus.
Finish with a deep breath and a moment of intention-setting.
With your children, when they disagree, be thankful. Don’t expect them to agree with everything. Decision making is lonely, suggestion making is simple, anybody can make suggestions. Decision making when it affects others is difficult. You have to do it with courage. pic.twitter.com/X2EkaQBMGu
— The Winning Difference (@thewinningdiff1) March 28, 2025
Competence and character drive results. Sports character includes caring about your teammates, preparation, winning, and coachability.
The little things stand out!
— PGC Basketball (@PGCbasketball) January 8, 2025
• Eye contact
• Head nods
• Positive touch
How you receive feedback speaks to your character as an athlete. pic.twitter.com/h55Mk3Fajh
Culture and coaching provide sustainable competitive advantage. And these depend on both the implementation from coaches and the reception from players and teams. Don't tune your coaches out or roll your eyes. Listen and adjust.
Lagniappe. Be coachable.
Lagniappe 2. Leave your comfort zone.
Shape your journey. The beauty of adolescence is the lifetime potential to craft a long, meaningful life.
Learn every day. Embrace gratitude and contribution.
Here is advice from author Sahil Bloom from his "10 Favorite Ideas."
Remember that daily actions shape your identity. When you embrace this, your whole world changes.
Decades ago someone reportedly asked legendary journalist Walter Cronkite how to be trustworthy. He said something like, "act like you are trustworthy and eventually you will believe you are trustworthy."
The quote misattributed to Aristotle is Aristotelian. "We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, therefore is not an act, but a habit."
Visualize your MVB self and make her special.
Lagniappe. Elite setting tips
Learn from the examples surrounding us.
“He's the basketball version of what we talk about with Pep — he has the ability to outcoach you tactically, manage the best players, manage talent.”
You don't win 12 national women's basketball titles by accident. From his MasterClass, Coach Geno Auriemma discusses practice:
Geno Auriemma: If you want to play a certain way, you have to practice that way.
— Coach's Diary (@ACoachsDiary) April 6, 2025
If not, you are hoping you get lucky.
When you practice and train hard, you might slip, but it won’t be far.
(🎥 via: @MasterClass ) pic.twitter.com/ywXJ6zZ9at
Powerful stuff.
As a former coach, I loved practice. Practice is the laboratory, the proving ground where theory becomes reality.
"Make practice hard so games are easy."
Make practice competitive so you know who the competitors are, the kids you need on the court when it matters most.
"Don't cheat the drill."
"You can't practice like hamburger and play like steak."
"The best teams play harder for longer." - Dave Smart Be that team.
Years ago a coach asked why I kept hyping this kid, Cecilia Kay. Then he coached her for three days at a camp. "Best prospect ever to come out of Melrose." Make Coach Celli and the staff see you with 'coaches' eyes'. Make them put you on on the court.
Matt Campbell said, "If you fall in love with the process, eventually the process will love you back."
— Coach AJ 🎯 Mental Fitness (@coachajkings) April 4, 2025
"You've got to be prepared for your opportunity when it's ready to love you."
The process tests your patience before it rewards you.
It means stay committed and prepared. pic.twitter.com/TXZjNdpSE3
Love to read. You'll read more and derive more from reading.
Embrace learning. You'll learn more and enjoy it more.
Experience joy in doing the work. The work will pay you.
What does toughness mean to you? It's not trash talk, standing over fallen opponents, or stare downs.
Tough players prepare, study opponents, train hard, and rise to meet challenges.
Urban Meyer shares the success equation. E + R = O
Event plus Response = Outcome
Big responses require toughness.
According to Kapitulik's The Program, here's who tough players are.
Master your habits. Make good "reads" leading to good responses. Be excited not anxious about the moments. Celebrate the opportunity to compete.Lagniappe. Make training hard with constraints, disadvantages (e.g. scrimmaging with scoring disadvantage), weight-loaded lunges and jumps.
Choose exercises that you will do - step ups, serial broad jumps, box jumps, whatever.
Record baseline measures (e.g. spike touch, broad jump) and remeasure after six weeks of training.
Plyometrics in speed training pic.twitter.com/ERDe5iAdW6
— Fred Duncan (@Fred__Duncan) April 4, 2025
Life is about making adjustments.
Image from Two Thoughts: A Timeless Collection of Infinite Wisdom
Players get in trouble when they say they are bored, that there is nothing here for them. As children we heard this a lot, "bored people are boring."
Tell them what you're going to say, say it, and summarize what you said.
You want improvement:
Pat Riley said, "A culture is simply a shared vision of what it is you want to do to get to where it is you want to go."
— Coach AJ 🎯 Mental Fitness (@coachajkings) March 21, 2025
Culture isn’t what you say—it’s what you reinforce daily.
It's shaped by your actions and what you allow.
( 🎥The Why with @DwyaneWade) pic.twitter.com/lG0m32wQSi
Lagniappe 2. Coach Dave Brady told the player. "I'm the second most hated person in the Middlesex League. You're the most." She was All-League in the Middlesex League twice, the North Shore Volleyball Player or the Year, and an All-State player. Toughness plays.
"Our ultimate success in mountaineering (and life) is based not on our performance when everything goes well, but rather in those moments when little or nothing does; when we are faced with adversity." - Erik Kapitulik et al. in The Program
Toughness is a skill. Commit to becoming tougher than you are and tougher than your opponents. Tough players and teams summon the physical and emotional resources to do more when adversity arises...which it always does.
Part of toughness is elite physical conditioning.
1) Make conditioning part of your training. Long rallies and long matches require conditioning.
2) Toughness is focus, "being where your feet are." Focus allows you to read and execute "low probability" plays.
The 2022 team showed maximum resilience during a postseason match with Billerica.
Set 4, Melrose leads 23-22. Ruth Breen slows an attack, Emma Desmond makes a running one-handed save going out of bounds, and Chloe Gentile gets a kill with an athletic adjustment.
3) Toughness is doing what must be done, the right way, when it needs to be done. Go back to the video. Watch the bench. They are engaged.
Toughness means doing the work. Toughness means leaving your comfort zone. Toughness means sacrificing what you want now for something you want more later.
Be conditioned. Learn to anticipate plays and get to the spot. Be focused and relentless.
Lagniappe. Be coachable.
Great players don't desire the star role.
— The Winning Difference (@thewinningdiff1) April 3, 2025
Great players focus on starring in the role that their team needs.
Most players want to be the best, but many fail to figure out how to be the best at what the team needs to win. pic.twitter.com/vnOUq6fXXU
"There is always a pecking order." - Erik Spoelstra, Miami Heat coach
"Star in your role." Whether you are the 'star player' or a role player, know your job and add value to the team.
~ via @CoachBobStarkey pic.twitter.com/N9V27uAQlL
— Coach the Coaches (@WinningCoaches) April 2, 2025
Jeopardy has been a longstanding quiz show favorite, first premiering on March 30, 1964. The current syndicated version has aired since September 1984.
As you know, your answers should be in the form of a question.
Let's play JEOPARDY (from JeopardyLabs.com)
Getting a great education - hard.
Graduating with honors - hard.
Navigating successful relationships - hard.
Raising a family - hard.
Achieving your athletic goals - hard.
"Most things in life-that are worth having-are hard.
— The Winning Difference (@thewinningdiff1) April 2, 2025
You have to work for it.
The other side of hard is usually something really good, but most people can't push through it."
Many want to be great, but few want to do what greatness requires.
That’s the difference. pic.twitter.com/4QsItT2CHh
Do hard well.
Seize the power of today. Invest in yourself. In math, English, or history class ask "what did I learn today?" and "how can I apply this going forward?"
Read great books. Director Werner Herzog shares a simple message. "Read. Read. Read. Read. Read." The opening line of Anna Karenina summarizes the following 1205 pages. "All happy families are alike; each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way." Understand that topic sentence. You can skip the rest.
People ask, "what books do you highly recommend?" Jon Gordon's Positive Dog resonated about the power of positivity. "The Boys in the Boat" weaves a narrative about the Great Depression, the rise of fascism is 1930's Germany, and the true story of a boy who grows up to row for the 1936 US Olympic team.
Then, "What are you reading now?" I always read multiple books, currently "The Innocent" by David Baldacci, "Originals" by Adam Grant, and "The Program" by Eric Kapitulik.
Learn every day. "Learn five things every day and soon you know a lot." Of course at your age you learn far more. Once volleyball was summarized as "dig, set, spike." That evolved to "pass, set, hit." Score with service, attacking, and block-kills. Read the play to CARE - concentrate - anticipate - react - execute. The only way that matters is how your current coach wants it done.
Make friends with the dead. Only about seven percent of the people ever born are alive today. Ignoring the wisdom of past lives misses out on a lot. Look up Eleanor Roosevelt, Frances Perkins, and Herstory.
Sport is a microcosm of life. Your primary team is family. You have other teams - school, community, volleyball, workplace. Years ago I complimented Kayla Wyland to her parents. Her mom said, "she's every bit as nice at home." How you do anything is how you do everything.
Choose to invest your time instead of spending it.
Summary:
Your effort today tells your coaches everything they need to know about how prepared you are to help the team tomorrow.
— The Winning Difference (@thewinningdiff1) March 31, 2025
Great teams aren’t made of players who get what they want — they’re made of players who give what’s needed. pic.twitter.com/w9fKoHrbgP
With a little more than four and a half months until tryouts, how can players get the odds on their side?
1) Commitment. Commit to Anson Dorrance's continual ascension. Should volleyball be important to you? That's entirely your call.
All opinions expressed in the blog are solely my own. Not an official publication of any organization. Blame no one else.
Acquire and share accumulated wisdom over your lifetime. Webster's definition of curator includes: "a person at a museum, zoo, etc. who is in charge of a specific collection or subject area."
Here's an excellent collection of concepts from Dave Kline:
21 leadership lessons I revisit weekly (you should too) pic.twitter.com/GMAZUUKdJp
— Dave Kline (@dklineii) March 30, 2025
Several particularly resonated:
1) Set high standards. Believe your team will meet them.
2) Reasonable people will draw different conclusions without a shared picture of excellence. (Making a team is not enough...chasing excellence is a shared vision)
3) Small feedback given regularly is coaching. (Coaching is not criticism. Coaches mentor players and teams to translate process into excellence.)
4) Subtracting is 10x harder than adding. Which is what makes it 10x more valuable. (Do more of what works and less of what doesn't).
5) Your culture is the sum of everything you celebrate minus everything you tolerate. (What we tolerate sets the floor of achievement.)
6) Trust people with the truth. (Coaching advances players and teams toward the truth.)
7) Your team will mimic your actions before they follow your words. ("Your actions speak so loudly I cannot hear a word you say.")
8) It's not real unless it's written down. (Be clear and concise. Share.)
Benjamin Franklin informed these in seven words. "Well done is better than well said."
When you find someone who shares productive content, check in. There may be more than one nugget in that stream.
Lagniappe. Loaded jumps will increase your block touch.
Lagniappe 2. Martin suggests ways to make warmups fun, competitive, and productive.
Geno is talking about recruiting MUDITA.
— Greg Berge (@gb1121) April 1, 2025
Finding players who…
- Play with joy
- Love the game
- Are WE-first not me-first
- Celebrate their teammates
Are getting harder to find.
ATHLETES: Body Language screams.
Coaches are looking 👀.pic.twitter.com/LmBoacCiFT
As I've discussed, "mudita" means being happy for others' success. "Your joy is my joy."
Nobody enjoys being around negative, self-absorbed, sulking people. Your energy and enthusiasm impacts your teammates. Energize yourself and your teammates.
It's common for players who had success at a young age to expect immediate success in high school sports. It's also variable. Dominating against thirteen and fourteen year-olds doesn't always translate to dominating seventeen, eighteen, even nineteen year-olds who are bigger, stronger, faster, more experienced.
Years ago a Middlesex League basketball team (not Melrose) was favored to go deep in the playoffs. The day before the tournament, a girl "stole" the boyfriend of a teammate. The team fractured immediately and lost their opener. One and done.
Stay humble; stay hungry. Be team-oriented and be a great teammate. Your coaches see everything.