Better Listening

 

Listen actively. Listen to understand, not to respond. Listen with empathy, with genuine concern for another's position. The best leaders listen well and give constructive feedback (backward looking) and advice (forward looking). 

Build a Better Player

"Whether you believe you can do a thing or not, you are right."

— Henry Ford 

Supposedly, a Ford engineer visiting a poultry processing plant came up with the idea of the assembly line. There's no assembly line turning out volleyball players in Melrose. If there were, what would belong?

Restated, how would you build a special player? 

1) The "competitive cauldron." Legendary soccer coach Anson Dorrance believes that competition drives excellence and has daily player performance rankings. How did I improve today?

2) Skill development. "Every day is player development day." Improve something every day. 

3) Athleticism. Athleticism, strength and conditioning, make you a better player and a more confident player. 

4) Confidence. "You can only be as good as you believe you are." Do the work to earn belief. The Yiddish chutzpah reflects audacity which can be either good or bad. The Romans said, "fortune favors the bold." 

5) Practice. Play a lot. This develops skill, game understanding, experience, and fosters "intuitive play" as players 'read' plays instinctively. 

6) Teamwork. An African proverb says, "we can go faster alone but farther together." Choose teamwork over selfishness. 

7) Mentoring. Along the way to becoming your own coach, learn from all the teachers and coaches around you.

8) Standards. Goals are aspirational. Standards reflect performance. Raise your standards. "Champions do extra." 

9) Do a 'software' upgrade. What makes that player, coach, or team effective? What one thing will make me better? 

Lagniappe. Don't guess. See. 

Reduce to Three

"One group is tasked with writing three good things about their lives; another group has to list twelve good things. Everyone expects the twelve group to be happier: the more blessings you count, the better you should feel about your circumstances. But most of the time, the opposite is true. We’re happier after we list three good things than twelve." - Adam Grant in Originals

A lot reduces to three, including the rhetorical technique of tricolon. 

"Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ears." - Mark Antony in Shakespeare's Julius Caesar

"...duty, honor, country." Douglas MacArthur in his famous West Point address

"Teamwork, improvement, accountability."

"Dig, set, kill" became "pass, set, hit." 

Score with "serves, attacks, block-kills." 

Win with three dynamic hitters, a middle and two outsides are common although Melrose had two excellent middles last season. 

There's something magical about three. 

Lagniappe. Use it in your presentations. 

Not Average

"We all have a thousand excuses for why we don’t achieve our goals in life. There is one reason: because we failed to prepare properly. There are no excuses." - Erik Kapitulik, The Program

Being part of MVB means commitment to "not average." Excellence requires "more," more time, more discipline, more effort, and more will. Average players never make an MVB roster. 

Think about professional athletes. Most were the best player on their team for most of their lives. Even if they outworked others, they still have limits. 

Consider former Celtic Henry Finkel. He averaged 27 points a game in his senior year at Dayton, was selected an All-American, and became a second round NBA draft choice. 

He was a journeyman center in the NBA, traded to the Celtics in 1969. Later, he was understudy to Dave Cowens, helping the Celtics to an NBA championship in 1974. During his nine year NBA career he averaged five points and four rebounds a game. He is a champion. 

Don’t do the easy wrong; do the hard right.
You have to go against your nature.
It’s not in everybody’s nature to get up every morning & work.
When we don’t have a challenge, we are not our best. That’s what drives us." -Geno Auriemma
📽️@WDWconvo pic.twitter.com/cFDO5Isnuz

— The Winning Difference (@thewinningdiff1) April 7, 2025

Excellence is hard. Do hard better. You're not average. 

Lagniappe. Develop 'refocusing' habits. 

"Develop better habits so that when we are under stress, we don’t have to make good mental or emotional decisions—we do them habitually." - Erik Kapitulik in The Program

Some refocusing ideas:

• Focus on a fixed point (e.g. a point on the net)
• Dot b. "Stop and take a slow, deep breath" (cleansing breath)
• Shake out your hands or dry them on your socks.

Everyone Can Lead

Leadership QOTD: pic.twitter.com/Cd1jT1SiNX

— Allistair McCaw (@AllistairMcCaw) April 8, 2025

Choose to lead, regardless of your age or status. 

• Energize teammates. 
• Be positive. 
• Support a 'team first' culture.
• Excel in your role.
• Never be a distraction. 

A Polarizing Figure, Coach Saban Simplifies Behaviors

Nick Saban with one of the best definitions of self-discipline:

(🎥@Elitesportsos) pic.twitter.com/PLPuNfoEaL

— Coach AJ 🎯 Mental Fitness (@coachajkings) March 24, 2025

"Here's something I know I'm supposed to do that I really don't want to do...can you make yourself do it...here's something you know you're not supposed to do...can you keep yourself from it." 

Quotes don't make players. Actions do. Make choices that promote success. 

"We make our habits and our habits make us."

"Discipline defines destiny."

"Leave your comfort zone."

I heard it a thousand times. "There's nothing to do for us in Melrose." Don't make bad choices because you think you have none. 

• Alcohol impairs adolescent brain function, muscle function, and recovery after exercise.
• Don't text and drive. Studies also show that using your phone to send a text while driving can have the same effect on your reaction time as drinking four beers before getting behind the wheel. 
• Be intentional about sleeping at least eight hours a night. "Prioritizing sleep in athletes’ preparation and recovery routine is not an easy task."

There's One Way to Play

Are you playing to win or playing not to lose? #DailyWisdom pic.twitter.com/JuwS2pnceJ

— Ball is Psych (@BallisPsych) April 7, 2025

Historically, MVB is at its best against better competition. It's never perfect. "Chase perfection."

Every match has potential for growth. Even opponents who are not as strong present an opportunity to work on something - serving to zones, setter dumps, hitting off fingertips or try for tools at the pins. 

Step up in the moment. Against Lexington last year, Emme Boyer made a number of game changing plays. Leverage that experience, carrying it forward to 2025. 

Lagniappe. Play with purpose in your offseason volleyball. Have intent to improve every practice and every match.  

Get on Top of Your Mental Game

"The mental to the physical in basketball is four to one." - Coach Bob Knight

Ask players about their strategies to fortify their mental game.

Entrepreneur Sara Blakely shared in her MasterClass that her father asked the children each Saturday dinner, "what have you failed at this week?" Failure is our companion on life's journey. 

Kelvin Sampson said, "The first step on the ladder of success is always failure."

Growth starts when you stop avoiding failure - And start learning from it.

"Immature people don’t understand that there is going to be failure."

(@PawdSlamaJama) pic.twitter.com/sPWo8ciCPw

— Coach AJ 🎯 Mental Fitness (@coachajkings) April 8, 2025

Examine a few well-known techniques:

1) Visualization. See yourself succeeding. In "Ten-Minute Toughness," Jason Selk proposed a three minute mental "highlight reel." 

2) Mindfulness. Most professional athletes and teams have a mindfulness program. Mindfulness reduces stress hormones, increases focus, and decreases anxiety and depression. 

3) Self-talk. We behave as we believe. Train ourselves to deliver positive thoughts, positive identity and performance statements. 

4) Body positioning. Expansive body positioning is controversial. Studies by Amy Cuddy show that increases in testosterone and decreases in cortisol (stress hormone) occurred after two-minute expanded body positioning. 

Actionable: a three minute "body scan" from Chat GPT

A three-minute body scan can be a powerful tool for athletes to enhance performance, recovery, and mental focus. Though often associated with mindfulness practices, a quick body scan is particularly useful in sports because it helps athletes develop body awareness, reduce tension, and improve movement efficiency. Here’s how:

1. Heightened Body Awareness

A short body scan encourages athletes to check in with their physical state—where they feel strong, where they feel tight, and how their body is positioned. This awareness helps with injury prevention by identifying small discomforts before they become significant issues.

2. Enhanced Recovery

By systematically relaxing different muscle groups, athletes can release tension built up from training or competition. A brief scan can promote muscle relaxation and circulation, aiding in recovery between efforts.

3. Improved Movement Efficiency

Athletes often carry unconscious tension in areas like the shoulders, jaw, or lower back. A quick scan helps detect these inefficiencies, allowing them to move with greater ease and coordination.

4. Increased Focus and Readiness

A body scan doubles as a mental reset, helping athletes clear distractions and direct attention to their bodies before a game or practice. This can be especially useful in high-pressure moments.

5. Stress and Anxiety Regulation

By pairing the scan with controlled breathing, athletes activate their parasympathetic nervous system, reducing stress and fostering composure.

How to Implement a Three-Minute Body Scan

1. Find a quiet space (or use it courtside or in a locker room).

2. Close the eyes (if possible) and take slow breaths.

3. Move attention from head to toe (or vice versa), scanning for tension, discomfort, or asymmetry.

4. Release tension where needed, adjust posture, and refocus.

5. Finish with a deep breath and a moment of intention-setting.

5) High, low, gratitude. Each evening review the day for event highs, lows, and gratitude. Highs reinforce our capabilities. Lows allow us to make physical and mental changes. A gratitude practice increases our motivation, resilience and positive culture. Shawn Achor advised the '21-day Gratitude Challenge'. Write down three things each night for which we are grateful. 

6) Stop sign. Don't double down. Pressure to perform often becomes anxiety. Anxiety can translate to mental or physical mistakes, tentative play, or sequences of errors. Think about how often one mistake (e.g. a turnover) turns into a second (frustration foul). 

Pressure degrades performance.  

Use more tools to reduce anxiety and improve play. 

Lagniappe. Great players do the work. 

Lagniappe 2. Lee Child explains Jack Reacher's mentality in Never Go Back. "When it comes to fear, my DNA is the same as anyone else’s. I trained myself, that’s all. To turn fear into aggression, automatically."

Lagniappe 3. Everything that matters requires quality decisions. 

With your children, when they disagree, be thankful. Don’t expect them to agree with everything. Decision making is lonely, suggestion making is simple, anybody can make suggestions. Decision making when it affects others is difficult. You have to do it with courage. pic.twitter.com/X2EkaQBMGu

— The Winning Difference (@thewinningdiff1) March 28, 2025

 

Sports Character

Competence and character drive results. Sports character includes caring about your teammates, preparation, winning, and coachability.

The little things stand out!

• Eye contact
• Head nods
• Positive touch

How you receive feedback speaks to your character as an athlete. pic.twitter.com/h55Mk3Fajh

— PGC Basketball (@PGCbasketball) January 8, 2025

Culture and coaching provide sustainable competitive advantage. And these depend on both the implementation from coaches and the reception from players and teams. Don't tune your coaches out or roll your eyes. Listen and adjust. 

Lagniappe. Be coachable. 

Lagniappe 2. Leave your comfort zone. 

Craft Your Life

Shape your journey. The beauty of adolescence is the lifetime potential to craft a long, meaningful life.

Learn every day. Embrace gratitude and contribution. 

Here is advice from author Sahil Bloom from his "10 Favorite Ideas." 

1. Identify Situations: Identify the situations where you'd like to show up as the best version of yourself. This can be as big as performing in front of millions or as small as having dinner with your family after a long day. Any situation where you want to be your best.
2. Envision Your Character: Envision the character you would like to embody in each situation. What traits do they possess? How do they appear and interact? What is their mentality and energy level?
3. Get in Character: Nothing works without practice. Get yourself some reps by turning on this character in those situations. See how it feels to show up as your best self in these moments.

Remember that daily actions shape your identity. When you embrace this, your whole world changes.

Decades ago someone reportedly asked legendary journalist Walter Cronkite how to be trustworthy. He said something like, "act like you are trustworthy and eventually you will believe you are trustworthy."

The quote misattributed to Aristotle is Aristotelian. "We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, therefore is not an act, but a habit."

Visualize your MVB self and make her special. 

Lagniappe. Elite setting tips 

Appreciation for Teammates and Mentors

Learn from the examples surrounding us.

The power of teamwork 

The power of mentoring

“He's the basketball version of what we talk about with Pep — he has the ability to outcoach you tactically, manage the best players, manage talent.” 

The Power of Practice

You don't win 12 national women's basketball titles by accident. From his MasterClass, Coach Geno Auriemma discusses practice:  

Geno Auriemma: If you want to play a certain way, you have to practice that way.

If not, you are hoping you get lucky.

When you practice and train hard, you might slip, but it won’t be far.

(🎥 via: @MasterClass ) pic.twitter.com/ywXJ6zZ9at

— Coach's Diary (@ACoachsDiary) April 6, 2025

Powerful stuff. 

As a former coach, I loved practice. Practice is the laboratory, the proving ground where theory becomes reality.

"Make practice hard so games are easy."

Make practice competitive so you know who the competitors are, the kids you need on the court when it matters most.

"Don't cheat the drill." 

"You can't practice like hamburger and play like steak." 

"The best teams play harder for longer." - Dave Smart   Be that team. 

Years ago a coach asked why I kept hyping this kid, Cecilia Kay. Then he coached her for three days at a camp. "Best prospect ever to come out of Melrose." Make Coach Celli and the staff see you with 'coaches' eyes'. Make them put you on on the court. 

Earn the Love

Matt Campbell said, "If you fall in love with the process, eventually the process will love you back."

"You've got to be prepared for your opportunity when it's ready to love you."

The process tests your patience before it rewards you.

It means stay committed and prepared. pic.twitter.com/TXZjNdpSE3

— Coach AJ 🎯 Mental Fitness (@coachajkings) April 4, 2025

Love to read. You'll read more and derive more from reading.

Embrace learning. You'll learn more and enjoy it more. 

Experience joy in doing the work. The work will pay you. 

Aspire to Toughness

What does toughness mean to you? It's not trash talk, standing over fallen opponents, or stare downs.

Tough players prepare, study opponents, train hard, and rise to meet challenges.

Urban Meyer shares the success equation. E + R = O

Event plus Response = Outcome 

Competitors want big outcomes and that means major events and big responses. 

Big responses require toughness. 

According to Kapitulik's The Program, here's who tough players are.

Master your habits. Make good "reads" leading to good responses. Be excited not anxious about the moments. Celebrate the opportunity to compete. 

Lagniappe. Make training hard with constraints, disadvantages (e.g. scrimmaging with scoring disadvantage), weight-loaded lunges and jumps.