Being the Adult in the Room

Coaches can't make everyone happy. Only so many minutes go around. Edited excerpts from a letter show that parents appreciate the issues.  

"There is no need to apologize about playing time. You are the coach and you need to do what you have to in order to win. She gets that and we get that. She was disappointed in how she played yesterday but is motivated to do better.  

I understand where parents are coming from with feeling bad for their child (we have been there many times with all 3 of our kids) but this is a part of life and kids need to learn to deal with disappointment sometimes.  

Many children and adolescents have anxiety and depression because they don't have the coping skills to deal with these disappointments. They don't know how to persevere. We are not helping them by solving things for them and giving them what they want when it isn't earned. I can't imagine how difficult it is to be a coach.  

My husband and I appreciate all the time, work, energy, and caring you have put into coaching this group of adolescent girls (not an easy age).  We both believe playing time is earned and 8th graders who are on the verge of playing high school sports are passed the point of equal playing time."

Not all parents feel the same way and I understand that it is normal to advocate for your child. 

I am not at practice so have no 'standing' to have opinions on individual player skill, strategy, athleticism, or resilience. Plus, I don't consider myself an expert, rather a learner. 

"Trust the process." The better the process, the better the long-term results. Don't worry about  polls or 'noise', including this. The coach's task is to find the pieces that fit best together. 

Lagniappe. Say it and say it again. Keep it simple. "Drive for show and putt for dough." Hitters get the glory and defenders who keep the ball up will earn the dough.  

Don't go back to basics. Never leave.