All opinions expressed in the blog are solely my own. This blog is not an official publication of any City of Melrose institution.
The end of season gathering is a staple of MVB culture, regardless of the school symbols...
The evening:
Provides closure to the season
Extends the program culture
Recognizes each player for their contributions
Celebrates special accomplishments
Announces leadership transition (captains)
Basketball executive and author Kevin Eastman reminds us, "You own your paycheck." Your work this season is the "down payment" for future success. The implication is that you will make future payments.
You have significance to the community. Young girls relate to you and your accomplishments. Some will want to become what you stand for in the future.
Take a moment to think of the sacrifices of the people in your lives who helped make this possible. And reflect on how much Coach Ryan Schmitt would like to be here but cannot because of his current deployment.
"Making sure we have a purpose on how we do things is important." - Nets Coach Jordi Fernandez to Gary Washburn in The Boston Globe
As readers, think critically. Does this apply to me? Can I use this information to grow personal and team success?
Find purpose in your approach.
A sign in the UNC Women's Soccer locker room reads:
Excellence Is Our Only Agenda
Fashion a 'Worthy Culture'
How you do anything is how you do everything. As James Kerr wrote in Legacy, "Leave the jersey in a better place."
Standards
What is our "Standard of Performance?" Working and playing to our potential demands constant attention. Never "go through the motions." Excellence requires, "Don't cheat the drill."
Virtues
Virtues are "old fashioned." Benjamin Franklin created a 'tablet' of virtues for which to strive.
He was not humorless. Of humility he said, "Surely if I were to achieve it, I would be proud."
Ambitious Givers
Organizational psychologist and Professor Adam Grant in Give and Take describes three personal styles - Takers, Matchers, and Givers. He notes that "Givers" do the best and the worst...but the best are ambitious givers. Ambitious givers can be great teammates.
Find purpose within and flourish.
Lagniappe. Key points from Dan Pink's seminal work, "Drive"
Here are five key points from Daniel H. Pink’s Drive: The Surprising Truth About What Motivates Us:
1. Humans are driven more by intrinsic than extrinsic motivation
Traditional carrots-and-sticks (rewards, bonuses, punishment) work for simple, mechanical tasks, but often backfire on complex or creative work. Meaning, curiosity, and purpose drive higher performance.
2. Motivation requires three core elements: Autonomy, Mastery, Purpose
This is Pink’s central framework. High-performing individuals and organizations create environments where people have:
Autonomy — control over how they work
Mastery — a chance to improve continuously
Purpose — connection to something larger than themselves
3. Autonomy increases engagement and creativity
People perform better when they can choose methods, schedule, tools, and approach. Micromanagement kills motivation; freedom fuels innovation.
4. Mastery is a mindset and a process, not a destination
Mastery is asymptotic — you never fully reach it, but you can always improve. Pink stresses deliberate practice, feedback, and challenge at the edge of one's current ability.
5. Purpose is the highest form of motivation
People work harder, persist longer, and feel more fulfilled when they believe their work matters. Connecting tasks to meaning transforms effort into commitment.
What matters most and defines us comes from within. There's an old joke about the Dalai Lama who orders from a hot dog vendor:
"I'd like ONE WITH EVERYTHING" and hands the guy $10
The vendor serves him but returns no change. The holy man says, "where's my change?" The vendor answers, "CHANGE COMES FROM WITHIN."
Well along life's back nine, I can only hope to improve other people's children's academic experience.
As "brevity is the soul of wit', listen to advice from Jean Twenge in a New York Times (11/16/25) Op-Ed piece entitled, "The Screen that Ate Your Child's Education."
First, the highlights:
1) Expanded use of electronic devices correlated with a decline in academic performance...globally.
2) Teachers strongly favor (83%) the bell-to-bell ban on smartphones.
3) Globally a nadir of academic performance occurred in 2022, probably a combination of COVID-19 and electronic distraction.
4) College students who take handwritten notes are 58% more likely to get A's. High device distraction correlated with increased likelihood of failure.
"How you do anything is how you do everything." Better study techniques yield better academic performance. Who would have guessed? The best players study the game.
"Get in your notebook." The best players I coached (Cecilia Kay and Sam Dewey) were avid students of the game and notebook users.
Apply critical thinking to grow in sport as well as in the classroom. Volleyball players read serves, opponent attacks and defenders. The ability to recognize subtle differences in body position gives players advantages that translate to better play.
Here are highlights from the article, curated by ChatGPT Plus:
Digital distraction is devastating for learning. In both college and K–12 settings, the more time students spend on non-school tasks (social media, games, streaming) during class, the lower their exam scores—even after controlling for prior ability.
Unrestricted personal device use in school has quietly eaten away at attention, reading time, and serious academic effort, contributing meaningfully to the learning crisis—not just in the U.S. but globally.
The piece ends with a call for parents, educators, and policymakers to stop assuming kids can “self-regulate” against billion-dollar attention machines and instead redesign the environment—especially school—to put learning ahead of screen entertainment.
1) "Control what you can control." We can't control a lot in this world. But we control:
Attitude
Choices
Effort
Attitude is contagious. Positive attitude breeds positivity.
Choose well. "Do not let what you can't do interfere with what you can do." - Coach John Wooden Choices extend far beyond the court. Good or bad choices have a habit of sticking with you.
"Always bring our best."
2) Do not let others define you. Define yourself.
Do the right things, the right way, all the time. That approach earns you respect. Lead by being on time, coachable, and prepared for opportunity. Model excellence. When you've done your best, what more could you have done?
All opinions expressed in the blog are solely my own. This blog is not an official publication of any City of Melrose institution.
"Learn before you lead." - General Stan McChrystal
General Stan McChrystal, author of Team of Teams, informs an abundance of leadership principles in his books and in his MasterClass.
He shares that as a West Point cadet, his early academic career was less than stellar. He turned it around after an advisor told him that the skills of an Army officer and cadet are not the same.
Studies of flag rank (senior) military officers have shown them to be in the top five percent across the board except in one area - flexibility. General McChrystal is an exception, understanding flexibility, although without sacrificing character or integrity.
Priority One
"The price of admission is contributing." By opening up daily calls to more stakeholders in Iraq, they increased collaboration and efficacy. They "cross-populated" groups with a specialist from another organization to improve communication and collaboration.
MVB application. All play is integrated. Blockers make the back row more effective. Coverage helps respond during offensive attack. Setters and especially liberos create better attacks, especially "out of system."
Priority Two
Speed, collaboration, and adaptability are essential in the military, business, and sport. Out-of-date information rapidly loses meaning. The quality of information and how it is shared and applied helps define success.
MVB application. Identify early what opponents want to do. Do they emphasize the short game (tips) or power (outside or inside)? Wakefield attacked the deep corners last season.
Priority Three
Leverage people, process, and communication. Failed communication is "siloed." There's a fallacy to the "need to know" principle. Everyone has to understand the plan and its implementation.
MVB application. Defenders should know 'attack fundamentals' to read and derive clues about the type and location of attack.
Experience and time teach us where we fit on the spectrum of athletic performance and achievement. Our peers' voices tell us how they see us as teammates.
MVB culture has always produced teamwork.
The Daily Coach discusses being a great teammate from time to time. Here's an adaptation:
Every time you step on the floor, in practice or games, three ways show you belong.
Check your ego at the door. ‘We’ matters more than ‘me.’ Stay humble.
Arrive early ("Dean Smith time"), stay focused, finish strong. Energize yourself and others.
Lift your teammates up...in the locker room, off the court, and under pressure. That’s not optional. That’s what it means to be a Great Teammate.”
Here's a checklist created by ChatGPT Plus using my principles and voice and a few external articles:
THE GREAT TEAMMATE CHECKLIST
1. Team First — Always
Speaks we more than me
Share credit, take responsibility
Root for others’ success even when minutes or touches go elsewhere
2. Reliable & Consistent
On time, warmed up, and mentally locked in
Same effort Tuesday practice as Friday night under lights
Coaches and teammates never wonder which version will show up
3. Hungry to Improve
Use feedback, doesn’t defend ego
Track growth — stronger, quicker, smarter week to week
Ask questions, seek reps, choose challenges not comfort
4. Communicates with Purpose
Talk that helps: clear, loud, solution-focused
Body language that lifts
Listens before speaking; understands before responding
5. Emotionally Intelligent
Stay composed when match tightens
Know what teammates need - support, fire, calm, truth
Don’t gossip or fracture - protects the circle
6. Makes Teammates Better
Encourage, energize, connect
Win the dull drills and ugly possessions
Bring friction when needed:
“That’s not who we are - we’re better than that.”
7. Competes in the Mud
Chases 50–50 balls like they’re 90–10
Loves long rallies, grind-outs, side-out wars
Doesn’t shrink in tough rotations - wants the serve, wants the moment
8. Humble, Hungry, Smart
Humble → serve the team
Hungry → work when no one sees
Smart → read people, read play, elevate the whole gym
The Quick-Test Version
A player is a great teammate if:
You trust them in the 24–24 moment.
You’d want to share a foxhole - or a fifth set - with them.
The gym is better with them in it.
If all three are “yes,” you’ve got one of the dogs.
The simple answer from the best teammates is that it's always about the team first. Great teammates bring a presence, regardless of minutes, role, and recognition.
Lagniappe. There's a story about Nelson Mandela's father. He used to bring young Nelson to community meetings. Mandela's father always spoke last. That afforded a chance to hear everyone else first and then to deliver a more nuanced response.
nuance
noun
1. A subtle or slight degree of difference, as in meaning, feeling, or tone; a gradation.
2. Expression or appreciation of subtle shades of meaning, feeling, or tone.
How might we deliver more effective messages? A message's intent isn't the same as its impact. Two people can hear it differently.
Each season, Coach Scott Celli delivers a message at the end of season breakup dinner. "Every spot is open." Incumbent players should recognize that they need to grow their game. Ambitious players should see opportunity if they grow theirs.
Only six players play at a time. With capable returners nearly doubling that number, there's a "numbers crunch."
"Control what you can control."
Grow your skill.
Study the game (strategy).
Become a more explosive athlete.
Raise your resilience.
Complacency is the enemy of excellence.
Lagniappe. Excellent "deception" tips from Coach Donny. He takes away "reading keys" from defenders with an aggressive approach, full back swing, and elbow back. Use cellphone video to monitor your progress.
You are a computer with hardware (body) and software (brain and nervous system). For best performance, upgrade both.
Work on your read (software based) and your reaction/execution complex of footwork and platform.
You don't have time at practice to train strength, conditioning, and quickness.
Your training blends aerobic conditioning (e.g. treadmill, cycle, stepper), strength (weight and resistance training), and balance (stability and core stability).
"Little things make big things happen." - John Wooden
Simple is seldom easy. Work on yourselves to become your better version. Consider these:
"Champions do extra."
"Unrequired work" separates exceptional from average.
"Do five more." Read five more pages, study five more minutes, do five more reps.
1) Jump rope for five minutes. Jumping rope improves endurance, quickness, and coordination. During high school basketball in 1972, we started practice with five minutes of jumping rope. You must be in great shape to jump rope for five minutes.
2) Win the morning. Develop a morning routine that works for you...mine includes a light breakfast, reading, writing, and Duolingo Spanish.
3) Improve your mental strength. Mindfulness improves focus, reduces anxiety, improves sleep, and reduces circulating stress hormones. The UCLA Mindfulness site shares guided meditations. Mindfulness is apolitical and non-religious, so you won't step on anyone's toes.
4) Journal. Find a few minutes a day to capture your thoughts. Perhaps you could write down five concepts you learned and three items of gratitude. Review your "gratitude journal" every few weeks.
5) Work out with a teammate. Improve with 'deliberate practice', consistency, skill development, and competition. Maybe your workout is 'virtual' via Facetime or whatever apps you favor. Build your friendships and your skills.
Lagniappe. Good advice from Coach Beck.
Sports Parents:
Support the whole team Don’t compare your kid to others Let the coaches coach Stay humble & grateful Let your kids love the game Avoid negativity about coaches/players Pitch in when you can Love your child through every high & low And please, leave the refs alone
First, reposting your "Out Pitch." Exceptional players have an unstoppable talent or, more commonly, one dominant skill and "counters." In other words, attacker can smash, but also tip, hit cut shots, find seams, and defend their position.
The more skills you have, the more ways to get and stay on the court.
Second, MVB has always been a meritocracy. There's no gifting of positions or time to anyone. Flourish by adding value to the team, impacting winning, and making those around you better.
Here's a post from Duke Basketball:
Coach Scheyer on the most important things to establish with a team right away:
1. Nothing is guaranteed He tells his guys from day one that no one is promised anything. A real Duke team is built on work. There are a lot of outside misconceptions about Duke, but Scheyer says the… pic.twitter.com/rgRKw78xlM
Early last season, a parent said that in their family, there were only two seasons - volleyball season and offseason volleyball. I'm a big believer in multi-sport play, but I respect that level of commitment.
All opinions expressed in the blog are solely my own. This blog is not an official publication of any City of Melrose institution.
Leadership means different things to everyone. First, let's listen to author Simon Sinek discuss leadership traits that resonate for him.
He emphasizes CIC - courage, integrity, and communication.
As a young person, you formulate leadership ideas - your attitudes, beliefs, and values. Don't blindly and rigidly accept what you hear or read. Learn to think for yourselves.
What does leadership mean to you? When I think about leadership, the first word that comes to mind is service. A leader serves her community and serves her team.
UCLA Coach John Wooden was one of the great coaches of any sport in any era. You may remember that he developed the "Pyramid of Success." He wrote a "Letter to Players," of which the full text is unavailable, but this excerpt exists:
“I will not always be right, but I will always be fair.
Every decision I make will be in the best interest of the team as a whole. You may not agree with every decision. You may not like every decision. But you can be sure every decision is made for one purpose: to help us become the best team we are capable of becoming.”
The emphasis is doing what is in the best interest of the team. That serves the team.
Remember the two qualities of the best players:
1) They impact winning.
2) They make the team, the players around them better.
There's a saying attributed to Coach Don Meyer, "Every parent would rather have their son be All-State instead of winning States."
Concerning team sports, that isn't "team first" thinking. Yes, exceptional teams need excellent players. And they thrive with leaders capable of putting the team first - serving the team.
Exceptional leaders listen and inspire others by saying and doing what is right, not what is easy or convenient.
"To be a leader of the team, it can never stop." Everybody wants the title, few want the responsibility. Being “the leader” means you’re on the job all the time Leaders don’t take plays off. They don’t take days off. They set the expectation and live it. pic.twitter.com/NnkfFmt8dk
This week’s book is The Carrot Principle by Adrian Gostick & Chester Elton.
The book’s core idea is simple: the missing ingredient in most cultures is recognition — not fake praise or gimmicks, but meaningful, timely, sincere recognition tied… pic.twitter.com/3VbfWj9Dpo
Culture evolves according to the leaders and followers within a program. Culture is an "inside job." Nobody knows the MVB culture better than the coaches and the players. Together they create the ecosystem that represents "culture."
Excerpt from Coach Jagacki's post:
The page I’m sharing today highlights three questions every employee — and every athlete — is asking about their environment:
What’s important around here?
How can I make a difference?
What’s in it for me when I do?
Return to Teddy Roosevelt's quote, "Comparison is the thief of joy." One way to "live with" comparison is by comparing ourselves to whom we were yesterday or previously. You become your standard, your "North Star."
Establish your standard of attention, preparation, effort, and recovery. Meet that standard day after day, doing your best; there should be no regret. Our best won't necessarily be the best.
When a talented group of athletes has insightful coaching with shared vision, mission, and commitment, exceptional results can happen.
It's not WII-FM (what's in it for me?). It becomes this is who we are and that is what we have become.
From Mike Reiss’s weekly ESPN Patriots column, referencing Christian Gonzalez:
“They questioned his, I don't want to say 'toughness', but the [term] that was used was 'dog.' They asked, 'Does he have the dog in him?'" Martin recalled.”
Exceptional competitors always have “the dog.” They go to the floor or fight at the net without hesitation.
The dogs have earned other names through time:
Foxhole guys, the person you want next to you under fire
Glue guys. The person who keeps everyone together
Chaos managers
Heartbeats of the team
Unsung heroes
Operators (especially in Special Forces 'teams')
"The dog" turns attitude into action. Whom do you respect not just for their athletic skill but their ferocity? The dog manifests as immediacy (presence now), intensity, and intelligence.
They aren't necessarily the best players on the team, although they can be. You don't have to ask whether she's a dog. You know it.
You want them on your team, you need them on your team. Cultivate them. Celebrate them.
Who are the dogs on your teams?
The "quintessential" MVB 'dog' was Victoria Crovo.
Coaches teach a different "subject" than most teachers. One major difference is that everyone wants to be in their class.
If you are part of a team, you have a responsibility to the team and to yourself - to improve, to star in your role, and to make the team better.
Why not take that attitude in English, Math, or Science?
The Fourth Agreement of "Always do your best" includes writing worthy prose.
Your serve initiates volleyball action the way your topic sentence introduces your paragraph. Your defense or block benefit from "tools" of athleticism and footwork the way writing flourishes with tools such as alliteration, tricolon, and chiasmus.
Coaches teach their sport but also how to compete in life, to accept winning humbly and defeat graciously. Watch the video to access tools that will enhance your writing and communication.
“He who chases two rabbits will catch neither.” – Russian Proverb
“Whether you think you can or you think you can’t, you’re right.” – Henry Ford
“The question you must ask yourself is not whether you’re sinking your putts. The proper question is whether your attitude is giving your putts a chance to go in.” – Bob Rotella, Golf Is Not a Game of Perfect
Anyone good enough to make MVB varsity is good enough to expand their success. Making the team is the first filter - proof of competence, skill, athleticism, and volleyball IQ. Climbing from contributor to impact player means more: the head game of self-trust and decisiveness.
Skill matters. Systems matter. But indecision erases both.
The “In-Between” Problem
Every sport recognizes the danger of being caught in between:
In golf, you can’t decide between clubs.
In baseball or softball, you half-commit to a swing.
On the mound, you guide a pitch instead of throwing it.
In basketball, you take “me-too shots” instead of purposeful ones.
Volleyball is no different—and perhaps more unforgiving. The ball doesn’t stop. A moment’s doubt becomes a broken play.
Where Indecision Shows Up in Volleyball
Indecisive play wears many disguises:
Serve-Receive
Soft communication
Slow reading of ball flight
Late or drifting platform
Setting
Late choices that lead to tight or low-quality sets
Double-clutching due to hesitation
Attacking
Slowed approaches
Mid-air changes in plan
Choosing safety over intent
Blocking
Catching the ball instead of penetrating the airspace
Delayed read steps
Defense
Ball-watching instead of reading arm, shoulder, and approach
Getting caught between tip and deep responsibilities
The common denominator? Players who don’t trust their read or don’t trust themselves.
What Decisiveness Really Means
Being decisive doesn’t mean being reckless. It means:
Trusting your training
Reading cues early (ball flight, setter hands, attacker tendencies)
Moving with purpose
Owning communication and your responsibility
Making the correct play for the situation - even if imperfect
If you want a bigger role, the first step isn’t a new shot or a harder swing - it’s choosing to trust yourself. Trust your read. Trust your platform. Trust your approach.
When you have and trust ability, and act with conviction, the game slows down, confidence rises, and your teammates learn they can trust you too.
Decisiveness is a skill. Self-trust is a habit. Train both every day.
All opinions expressed in the blog are my own. This blog is not an official publication or representation of any City of Melrose institution.
One of the highlights of the breakup banquet is Coach Scott Celli announcing the captains for the next season. He shares the thorough process of vetting the applicants within school leadership, verifying the candidates' character.
Ask yourself what does being a captain mean?
Representing the team in school, on and off the court
Setting an ethical and moral example for your teammates
Commitment to the norms and standards of the team which must reach beyond those of the 'generic student'
Mentoring all teammates, especially younger ones
Displaying 'extreme ownership' of values of discipline, hard work, integrity, and sportsmanship
Being worthy of the responsibilities of all of the above
Ernest Hemingway understood values in life and sport. I prompted an "AI Consult" seeking insight on captaincy.
A captain is not made by a vote or a stitch of thread on the jersey. She is made by the mornings when she rises before the others, by the work she does when no one is looking, and by the steadiness she keeps when the game turns hard and the crowd grows silent. A team is a small boat in heavy water, and the captain is the one who keeps her oar in the water when the others begin to doubt.
She does not talk much. She watches. She endures. She gives the strength she has and asks for the strength she needs. Leadership in sport is the same as leadership in life: you hold fast, you stay true, and you take the blows with your head up, so the others learn to do the same.
Like everyone else, I anticipate the selection of the MVB '26 leadership. I know that the young women selected will have earned the responsibility. Some days captains reinforce, "This is how we do things here." Rarely, they must reinforce, "That is not how we do things. Let's do better."
Whether you’re chosen as captain or you lead in other ways, strive to provide the best leadership possible - so the entire team grows, improves, and succeeds.
Lagniappe. Thoughts from a team leadership expert, Jeff Janssen, also moderated from ChatGPT Plus:
1. Captains are your internal leaders – and they can make or break your season
Janssen is relentless on this: talent matters, but internal leadership is the separator. He quotes coaches like K, Kay Yow, and Chuck Noll to hammer home that the tone set by the leadership core determines whether the team overachieves or underachieves.
How you’d frame it to players:
“Our season rides on the standards you set and enforce, not just on my speeches or our playbook.”
2. Character and trust are non-negotiable
In his captain work, the first filter is who they are, not how they play. Great captains are honest, trustworthy, respectful, and high-character people; they keep things confidential, follow through on commitments, and treat everyone—teammates, coaches, officials—with respect.
Captain takeaway:
“If we can’t trust you, we can’t follow you. Your integrity is your license to lead.”
3. The best captains live at the top of the Commitment Continuum
Janssen’s Commitment Continuum runs from resistant → reluctant → existent → compliant → committed → compelled. Great captains live in the committed/compelled zone and pull others rightward, addressing why athletes are stuck in the “red zone” instead of just complaining about buy-in.
Captain takeaway:
“Your job is to be ALL-IN and to move teammates from ‘just here’ to ‘fully invested.’”
4. Captains must both lead by example and use their voice
Janssen emphasizes that captains should be among your hardest workers and fiercest competitors and be willing to speak up - encouraging, confronting, refocusing. They bring energy, hold teammates accountable, and help solve problems before they get to the coach.
Captain takeaway:
“You don’t get to choose between ‘lead by example’ and ‘vocal leader.’ At this level, you have to do both.”
5. There are multiple kinds of leaders – build a leadership team, not just a captain
He describes five kinds of leaders every team needs: performance/competition captains, locker-room (culture) leaders, social (chemistry) leaders, organizational/campus leaders, and reserve/sub leaders.
The message: leadership is distributed; your best teams have a network of leaders, not one heroic captain.
Captain takeaway:
“You’re not the only leader – you’re the hub of a leadership group. Find and empower other leaders in their lanes.”
6. Captains are co-architects of culture: the 7 C’s
In his team-building work, Janssen lays out the “7 C’s”: common goal, commitment, complementary roles, clear communication, constructive conflict, cohesion, and credibility.
Captains are expected to help the coach protect and advance each of those - especially standards, communication, and handling conflict constructively.
Captain takeaway:
“You’re not just playing in the culture, you’re building it - every day, with how you talk, train, and handle problems.”
All opinions expressed in the blog are solely my own. This blog is not an official publication of any Melrose institution.
"Any idiot with a whistle can coach." - Anonymous parent
I coached for about twenty years in the middle school girls basketball travel program, only six as the head coach. Brad Stevens is right, "Coaches get more than we give." The mostly positive relationships with players and their families, watching youngsters develop into young adults, is a privilege.
What 'structural problems' go with coaching?
1. Playing Time
Allocation of scarce resources is economics. The best part of being an assistant was not owning playing time. Remember the "Golden Triad" of minutes, roles, and recognition. Everyone wants to play more, contribute more, and be valued more. That's normal and even more so with "pay for play," though participation fees don't buy minutes. I never accepted compensation to coach..."worth every penny."
Here's a lengthy post from a Facebook basketball group:
“In the state of Texas for public schools the governing body protects coaches and basically put in an amendment for parent behavioral expectations and rules. Violations of those can result in the dismissal of the athlete from the athletic program if the coach and or AD choose to act on it. Never had to act on it personally just always included in the players manual and pointed it out when meeting with parents.
However I did have an older coach tell me that in the early 2000s he had an affluent family that was pestering him so he finally called them in and asked, "Who should I bench to play your kid? If your kid goes in, who comes out?"
At first they wouldn't say a name and sort of hemmed and hawed around it but the coach said "If you want to make coaching and playing time decisions for me then I need a name." Finally they say "Little Johnny, he could play half the game and our boy could play off the game."
Coach says "Okay, one second." Then grabs his phone and starts dialing. The phone rings and a man picks up. Coach says "Hey John Sr., I have the Williams here and they want to discuss your son's playing time with you."
They went ghost white and wouldn't speak. Coach gets off the phone with John Sr. looks them dead in the eye and says "unless you're prepared to think about everyone's kid in this program and not just your own don't come back in here again.”
I'm not a confrontational person, so I couldn't adopt this tactic. But that's Texas I guess.
2. Expectations
There's a cognitive bias called "endowment effect." If it's ours, then it's more valuable. We think our coffee mug is worth five dollars, but others won't pay us more than three for that mug.
Coaches work to add value. We can't always add as much as a player or we want.
They don't "vote" for valedictorian. The award goes to the student with the highest GPA. Coaching is more subjective. Coaches cope with expectations of community, fans, family, and players. The "Prime Directive" implies that parents understandably want what is best for their child above all else. That's normal and expected, and relates to that "Golden Triad." If your parent doesn't advocate for you, who will?
Every coach has critics because nobody meets everyone's expectations.
3. Resources
There's never enough gym availability or practice time. When some other teams practiced eight or more hours a week, we had three.
One year I was told that we could have only two hours of practice time. I threatened to quit and meant it. They found us an extra thirty minutes each practice.
Competing against a team that keeps eight players with more practice time than our 12 or 13 with far less time...tilts the playing field. Allotting anything close to "fair" distribution of minutes creates marked imbalances. An approximation of fair playing time meant losing.
4. Parents
I am thankful to have known many parents and extended families. Few expressed open criticism or hostility. More than zero. Work not to automatically dismiss someone else's opinions. Their perspective may have merit. Or as Mom often reminded us, "Who died and made you king?"
5. Talent Dispersion
As children drift toward other sports, coaches have fewer "sport-specific players." There's only so much talent to go around. "Repetitions make reputations." Don't expect that players who care most about their golf swing or lacrosse shot to be elite volleyballers.
The "best" players have access to more coaching, more sport-specific skill training, and more strength and conditioning. Those players can become elite. Less committed players don't become elite.
Nothing is guaranteed. Coaching will always be hard and yet always be worth it.
Lagniappe. Turbocharge your confidence. You can only be as good as your self-belief. Think, "I can learn."
