"Never argue with a person who buys ink by the barrel." - Chuck Daly
Writing or speaking more doesn't necessarily improve the quality of arguments. Curiosity and openness add more value in deciding arguments.
Adam Grant in Think Again defines three important points in determining negotiations.
1. Find common ground.
2. Have better arguments, not a laundry list of more items.
3. Think like a scientist. Critically evaluate evidence.
Common ground
Rather than thinking, "she's the one," consider where we agree. That can lower the temperature of a disagreement. It's not always "A" or "B." Cooks realize that a substitution can add value (e.g. applesauce versus oil). If someone in our family has a peanut allergy, maybe she can tolerate sun butter.
Volleyball - where can we agree about a player's strengths and needs?
Better arguments
Disney CEO Bob Iger got a meeting to discuss a merger with PIXAR chief Steve Jobs. Jobs had a long whiteboard where he listed the PROS and CONS of a merger...synergy versus competition.
Job came up with three arguments in favor and about twenty opposed. Iger said, "It looks as though you're opposed." Iger respond that was not the case, because the strength of the PROS strongly outweighed the list of the negatives.
Years ago the Patriots had a superb athlete Tebucky Jones - a workout warrior, big, fast, tough. He had an impressive nine year NFL career, yet it's tempting to think what he could have been if he had more football ability.
Being an exceptional athlete and great teammate helps, yet it represents only one box amidst others including skill, VB IQ, and the mental game.
Volleyball - "I trust her when she's on the court" is a compelling argument.
Perspective
"Think like a scientist." Find evidence, both supporting and disconfirming to generate an argument.
I like the way Connelly Early (currently injured) pitches.
Here's a BaseballSavant.com look at percentile rankings...for Payton Tolle. There's a lot of red ink (good). He can improve his breaking stuff and changeup. However, he has elite fastball movement, extension, and ERA. Arguing for Early is, well, early.
Preseason scrimmages create foundational data for earning rotational spots. "The players make out the lineup card."
Volleyball - "Force me to play you."
Rethinking
"Better" thinking depends not only on data but on actual performance. I know that Coach Scott Celli could make out a lineup card today, but he wouldn't feel good about it without watching how players respond to opportunity and challenges of actual game play.
He's been open to 'rethinking' lineups over the years. "Every day is showtime."
Lagniappe. Think twenty years in the future. What advice would you share with your current self?
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