"What Are Your Expectations?"*

*Adapted from my basketball blog. All opinions expressed in the blog are solely mine. The blog is not an official publication of any Melrose organization and does not represent any other opinions. 

 "I'm a salesman," wrote Chuck Daly in Daly Wisdom. He understood that almost everyone sells something. Teachers sell the value of learning. Doctors sell the importance of self-care and following instructions. Coaches sell our process, creating value, and the relevance of buy-in.

Imagine this. At the first meeting with parents, each brings in a card with the answer to this. "What are your expectations for your child and family from this experience?" 

Think about it from the parent perspective. 

• "I want my child to be part of a team."
• "I want my child to learn volleyball principles."
• "I want my child to learn how to work better with others."
• "I want my child to learn the value of commitment, discipline, and effort."
• "I want my child to learn how to cope with failure and success."
• "I want sport success to translate into better performance in other endeavors and throughout life." 

What if these are the answers?

• "I expect my child and my family to be respected."
• "I expect my child to be a starter and contributor."
• "I expect my child to get as many minutes and shots as the best player on the team." 
• "I expect my child to be All-State and All-Scholastic."
• "I expect my child to earn a college scholarship."
• "I expect my child to play professional volleyball." 

One set of "wants" is theoretically possible and one is partly possible but expecting guarantees are unreasonable. 

Everyone brings "baggage" and "expectations" from and to our experiences. If we handed out and received those cards, we'd have clarity on what parents want. 

Don't hand out those cards. It might have value to ask parents the rhetorical question, "what are your volleyball expectations?" 

Lagniappe. "I asked, “If you could pick one trait that would predict how someone would turn out, what would it be?” “That’s easy,” he said. “How willing they are to change their mind about what they think they know.”" - "Clear Thinking: Turning Ordinary Moments into Extraordinary Results" by Shane Parrish