Move from the metaphorical back burner to the front. Become relevant in the minds of the coaching staff. When the coaches think "libero," make them think of you. If you want to be the 'lead dog' on outside attack, make OH synonymous with you.
When thinking of professional "Hall of Fame" players, it should be "no brainers-" dominant players, excellence over an era, without prohibitive character flaws.
What gets coaches' attention?
Size - "You can't teach height."
Athleticism - "Sport rewards athletic explosion."
Skill - "Talent isn't everything but it's somethin' somethin'."
Attitude - "Be the "IT" girl." That girl has "it."
Toughness - You cannot succeed without toughness.
Bring big dreams and come to tryouts in the best shape of your life with the attitude that "I'm owning a position."
Observations of MVB since 2001:
1) The best players play.
2) There is no seniority system. "This is not a union job."
3) "It's not who starts. It's who finishes."
4) Everyone gets opportunity. It's your job to seize a role.
5) Want to improve. Want to play. Want to win. Prove it.
6) Consistency wins roles.
7) You play because you make the coach put you on the court.
No coach can please everyone. Bob Knight had a saying, "If you listen to the fans in the stands, soon you'll be up there sitting with them."
Nobody executes any skill without errors. And the best players make the most reliable and accurate reads/decisions, leading to consistent execution. Then average performance across all six positions and you separate top teams from lesser ones. Decisions and skill translate to the math.
Rams coach Sean McKay exudes positivity and team. He's not about ego. "Hey, nobody is above being coached." Everyone can write better, just as we can all coach better. Good writers are informed and inform readers. Your and your players written work matters.
Hemingway allegedly said, "Writing is easy. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and bleed." Just because you have the summer "off," doesn't mean that you can't practice reading and writing.
Coaches are teachers. Teachers change behavior. Teach good writing.
Capture the reader's attention. The average reader devotes 36 seconds to a column. Author Matt Haig writes, "every story is about someone searching for something." What is your reader searching for?
Add value. Bob Woodward provides a minimum of six pieces of information that he wants readers to know. Readers should leave saying, "I didn't know that" or "I hadn't considered that."
"Don't be boring." Shave syllables. "Brevity is the soul of wit." In The Friction Project, Sutton and Rao emphasize reducing friction including red tape and unnecessary meetings.
Accuracy matters. As President Ronald Reagan quipped, "Trust but verify." Write for a local paper and misspell a Little Leaguer's name and there is hell to pay.
Revise. Few columns, game plans, or 'campaigns' are winners out of the box. General Sun Tzu wrote in The Art of War, "Every battle is won before it is fought." Author and humorist Anne Lamott says to get it down, "shi**y first drafts."
If unable to avoid jargon, explain the basketball terminology.
Provide supporting evidence such as quotes, data, images where applicable. "Bring the receipts." These sometimes include analogies. How often an athlete will describe their 'organizational DNA'. After Game 4 against the Knicks, Pascal Siakam said, "we have to stay on an even keel," a nautical analogy. Mike Breen described Siakam as an "unappreciated" superstar, part of the 2019 Raptors title team.
Be impactful. Drop knowledge that readers can use to change their belief, practice, or management. A recent column shared a Mike Neighbors quote, "Practice chaos equals game calmness."
Use influence tools. Learn and apply Cialdini's six "Principles of Persuasion." Start with these:
1) Authority - Knowledgable? Act like it.
2) Liking - Be likable, the author worth sharing a coffee with.
3) Social Proof - "Lots of people read this person."
The axe forgets but the tree remembers". - African proverb
While the concept is simple, applying it is not. A person hurt in a situation remembers, whereas the aggressor may not. A waitress served a large party, working diligently and providing good service. They left no gratuity.
She never forgot and they probably never remembered. And it drove her to treat everyone better.
Sometimes genuine misunderstandings happen. But many of us remember slights that seemed intentional. In Teammates Matter, walk-on Alan Williams describes the equipment manager not providing him with a black-and-gold Wake Forest travel bag. He was helpless. Later, he returned to his locker and found one. The star player had left his. When the best player is the hardest worker and the best teammate, ripple effects happen.
Hard work, focus, toughness, teamwork, and empathy are choices. People remember how we treat them.
Strive to treat people better - how we greet them, how we lead them, how we write and speak about them. Our human imperfections will leave us short at times.
How can we do better?
Plan hard conversations. Discuss both performance and feelings. Always have another adult with us during a hard conversation.
Allow a cooling off period. The "24 hour rule" lets everyone calm down.
Never "punch down."
Work on positivity. "We cannot live a positive life with a negative attitude."
Listen better. Listen to understand not just to respond.
Make respect of others a priority.
Remember the Fourth Agreement. "Always do your best."
Traffic in specifics. "This is our expectation for you. This is how we want you to do this."
Get feedback. "Now that we've explained the process, the intermediate steps, and the desired end state, please explain your understanding." The planning scene in The Dirty Dozendoes this magnificently.
Get an AI consult (here, DeepSeek):
The proverb "The axe forgets but the tree remembers" speaks to how the person who inflicts harm (the axe) often moves on quickly, while the one who was harmed (the tree) carries the memory of the pain. In basketball, this concept can apply in several ways:
1. Physical Play & Tough Fouls
A defender might deliver a hard foul to stop a fast break, then immediately move on—especially if it was a strategic "no harm, no foul" play. But the offensive player who got hit may remember that foul the next time they drive to the basket, possibly hesitating or playing more cautiously.
Example: A player like Draymond Green (known for aggressive defense) might forget a hard foul, but the opponent (like LeBron James after a playoff battle) may remember and adjust their game accordingly.
2. Trash Talk & Mind Games
A player might talk trash in the heat of the moment, then brush it off after the game. But the targeted player could carry that disrespect, using it as motivation in future matchups.
Example: Michael Jordan famously remembered every slight—real or imagined—and used it to fuel legendary performances against opponents who may not have even realized they’d provoked him.
3. Playoff Rivalries
A team that dominates another in the playoffs (e.g., sweeping them) might quickly shift focus to the next round, while the losing team stews over the defeat all offseason, using it as fuel for redemption.
Example: The 2011 Miami Heat may have moved past their Finals loss to Dallas, but Dirk Nowitzki and the Mavericks carried that underdog mentality for years, making their 2011 title even sweeter.
4. Coaching Decisions
A coach might bench a player for a bad game, then forget about it, but the player could internalize that lack of trust, affecting their confidence or relationship with the team.
Example: Young players like Tyrese Haliburton (traded by the Kings) have spoken about how being benched or undervalued stuck with them long after the coaches moved on.
Key Takeaway for Basketball:
In the NBA—where physicality, ego, and competition collide—players and teams must balance aggression with awareness. The "axe" (aggressor) may forget, but the "tree" (target) often remembers, and that memory can shape rivalries, careers, and legacies. Smart players use this to their advantage, while wise opponents avoid giving unnecessary motivation.
Lagniappe. Coaches need information "on the ground." If we're detached, then we'll miss out on opportunities to improve. Here's a quote from Isaacson'sElon Musk that applies. "Because Gracias spoke Spanish like most of the factory workers, he was able to learn from them where the problems were. “I realized that if you invest in a company, you should spend all your time on the shop floor,” he says."
'Do 3 dollars work for a 2 dollar job' "This thing about grit is real. It is about competing. It is about pushing yourself. It is about striving to be at your best. Nobody else controls this but you. You have an opportunity to create your own value. Let's get a little gritty." pic.twitter.com/6ugArCqRo3
— The Winning Difference (@thewinningdiff1) June 10, 2025
Toughness is a skill. Often it's doing what must be done...parents working multiple jobs, sacrificing, with too limited gratitude and too much pressure.
Toughness means doing the job right, regardless of the conditions.
Toughness is a skill, a muscle to develop. Toughness includes the ability to play harder for longer. It means maximum focus and resistance to distraction, to reset and make the next play.
A Navy SEAL trainee had done everything right as far as effort and training. But he failed the long distance two mile swim time with fins by a few seconds.
Per AI, "However, the candidate was given a second chance to retest. For the retest, he was paired with a strong swimmer, which provided him with an opportunity to perform better. The presence of a capable swimming partner not only boosted his confidence but also allowed him to pace himself more effectively throughout the swim.
During the retest, he focused on his technique and stayed motivated by swimming alongside his partner. This time, he successfully completed the 2-mile swim within the required time, demonstrating resilience and determination."
Situations arise where you may struggle to "complete the mission" alone, where teammates can metaphorically pull you along, raising your toughness.
To build toughness, put yourself in safe training situations demanding toughness.
To be a great team, every team member must give and also give up something. Commitment cost you but what you receive in return is so much greater. pic.twitter.com/1dWAMpBoWB
Slogans, quotes, and platitudes don't win games. That doesn't mean that quotes have no value (see below). What wins is players executing individual and team skills under game conditions, often under pressure.
"There is a difference between fear and losing your nerve." - Cassian in Andor
MVB always plays both tough league and non-league games. It's normal to be 'anxious' about facing a tough opponent. Turn anxiety into excitement. "Isn't it great to play a top team and get a chance to compete?" Never "turtle" and go into your shell.
Coaches like Scott Celli want their teams to reflect their identity as competitors. Rolling over and exposing your neck is never acceptable.
Be specific. When this happens, this is what we do. In 2008, Melrose traveled to Barnstable, serenaded pregame by "Mickey Mouse." Barnstable dominated the match. Have a long memory. The following season, Melrose, led by Hannah Brickley, swept the perennial D1 state championsincluding rallying from 19-23 in the third set. There was no turtling. "The second mouse got the cheese."
Believe you're defeated and you are. Decades ago we went to see Melrose basketball play an ML opponent on the road. As we entered the gym, one opposing player told her teammate, "we'll probably lose by 40, maybe 30 if we're lucky."
Where the rubber meets the road. Be a great teammate. How?
Sacrifice. Always put the team first.
"Always do your best." Practice your hardest regardless of your playing time.
Represent your team. Never be a distraction with immaturity or bad behavior on social media.
Excel in your role. If you are the twelfth player or the first, support your teammates at all times. Never punch down.
Relatively few games are walkovers, where one team dominates with talent. Most games teams need focus, aggression, discipline and effort.
The best path for superior performance against better opponents is bringing your best every day. Regardless of the setting (e.g. practice) or the opposition, "Always do your best."
What elements indicate a healthy athletic program?
Winning can't be the sole determinant of the health of a sports program. A program may not have the youth program in place or competes against a same season sport with an elite program which siphons off the best athletes. Some area communities are "hockey towns" or "field hockey towns" where other sports play second fiddle.
What signs are favorable?
1) Positive culture. Even if a program hasn't enjoyed sustained success, the players turn out because of the basketball experience. That's the global ecosystem from offseason training, practice, community investment, and the inevitable management of minutes, roles, and recognition.
It mirrors the difference between reputation and character. Reputation is what people think you are and character is who you actually are.
2) Stable leadership. The best organizations tend to have stable management. Continuity matters. Consider the Miami Heat with Pat Riley and Erik Spoelstra. When leaderships comes through a revolving door, it hard to maintain a stable philosophy and identity. Players need to know "this is who we are" and "that is how we play."
Leadership includes modeling excellence and communicating organizational priorities and values.
3) Enthusiasm. Player participation and community engagement both serve as measuring sticks. With participation fees, players and families literally have to buy into the program. To some degree, established programs have fundraising advantages.
4) Youth programs. "As the twig is bent, so grows the tree." No coach wins big without sustainable competitive advantage via a youth program that turns out several successful prospective contributors each year. COVID was a setback for everyone, so it's hard to blame that.
5) Public relations. Hall of Fame Coach Chuck Daly said, "never get in a fight with someone who buys ink by the barrel." Good press can't shine a lackluster performance but everyone likes to read or hear positive reporting.
Let's digress to an AI consult from ChatGPT:
You're right—assessing the health of an athletic program isn’t precise, but certain indicators consistently point to strength and sustainability. Here are five top factors that signal a healthy athletic program:
1. Strong Culture and Core Values
Indicator: Coaches and athletes consistently model the program’s values (e.g., accountability, respect, hard work).
Why it matters: Culture drives behavior, which drives performance. A shared sense of purpose creates alignment from the bottom up.
2. High Athlete Retention and Engagement
Indicator: Most athletes return year after year, and underclassmen are eager to join.
Why it matters: When kids choose to stay, it signals a positive experience. Engagement also predicts effort, improvement, and loyalty.
3. Competitive Improvement Over Time
Indicator: The program shows consistent skill development, more competitive results, and increased performance, regardless of talent fluctuations.
Why it matters: Win-loss records don’t tell the whole story. How the team improves relative to its potential is often more revealing.
4. Quality of Relationships (Coach-Athlete, Peer-Peer)
Indicator: Coaches earn player trust, and players support each other. Conflict is addressed constructively.
Why it matters: Psychological safety fosters risk-taking, accountability, and honest communication—vital for growth and resilience.
5. Sustainable Systems and Leadership
Indicator: The program doesn't collapse if one coach leaves. Systems for communication, training, and leadership development are in place.
Why it matters: A healthy program outlasts individual personalities. It’s a structure, not a solo act.
A key player gets injured or sick. Control what we can control, compensating with changes in personnel, strategy (play faster or slower), and operations. Find ways to step up and compensate for unavailable players.
We experience a painful loss. Don't blame, complain, or make excuses. Analyze what we need to do to be better. Love our losses and learn from them.
We say or do something we regret. Own it. Apologize for our mistake. "I could have handled that better." Remind ourselves of "The Four Agreements," the last of which is "Always do your best."
Don't be helpless. Add tools to our toolbox of how we react to the first arrow.
Mindfulness helps to widen the 'space' between what happens, including perceived offenses, and how we respond.
Professionalism reflects maturity and character.
Branding is how others see both our identity and performance. Take care of the MVB brand and your personal brand.
Dr. Fergus Connolly's core elements include skill, strategy, physicality, and psychology (including resilience). Avoiding the pain of the second arrow is a key part of resilience.
Lagniappe. Like Jay Wright, Kelvin Sampson invests in attitude.
Hurricane of Houston Basketball Defense:
“Our Defensive System is based on Effort & Attitude!”
“We spend a tremendous amount of time teaching Attitude & Effort.”
I can't recall ever playing with a "bad teammate." What does that mean?
1) Bad teammates are selfish. They put their interests first, meaning that the scorebook outranks the scoreboard. There is a story about a college player taken to task for that. In a team meeting, she broke down and said that her father wouldn't talk to her if she didn't score.
Strive for the UNC Women's Soccer motto: "Excellence is our only agenda."
2) Bad teammates are credit hogs. Adam Grant's Give and Take shares real-life examples of takers. Frank Lloyd Wright didn't want to pay architectural interns and insisted on taking credit for their work. Jonas Salk didn't give his team of scientists recognition for developing the polio vaccine. As a result he never received a Nobel Prize or election to the prestigious National Academy of Science.
In print and electronic interviews, bad teammates hoard credit and don't recognizes coaches, teammates, or others who make their success possible.
3) Bad teammates "punch down." That can manifest as physical, verbal, and psychological abuse. Don't 'dog' underclassmen or lower status teammates.
4) Bad teammates behave dismissively toward others. Disrespecting opponents and officials is dismissive. They may seek to exclude others from group activities. Be inclusive.
5) Bad teammates blame, complain, and make excuses. They lack commitment to the team and lack accountability.
6) Bad teammates represent the team poorly with lack of sportsmanship and irresponsible behaviors off the court which could include interactions with media, substance use, and abusive relationships.
Be a great teammate:
Team first.
"Always do your best."
Share credit.
Respect everyone.
Be positive and inclusive.
Be accountable.
Show sportsmanship and class.
Lagniappe. Build a standard of excellence into our culture.
Nick Saban didn’t become the GOAT by accident.
He built a standard. He lived in the present. He hated losing more than he loved winning.
Here are 10 timeless coaching truths from Saban’s playbook.
Rules are the baseline—what everyone has to do. Standards? That’s what champions choose to do. Great players don’t just follow rules—they set the standard. Coaches, hold them to it. Athletes, live it every day. That’s how winning programs are built. pic.twitter.com/4jwda69Wpa
— The Winning Difference (@thewinningdiff1) June 4, 2025
Don't be a rule-follower; be a standard-setter.
Doing your chores is a rule. Doing them well is a standard.
Doing your homework is a rule. Doing exceptional work is a standard.
Being on time is a rule. Being on time, stretched out, and mentally ready is a standard.
Practicing is a rule. Practicing with focused intensity is a standard.
Showing up is a rule. Seeking to dominate is a standard.
Doing good work might get you on the court. Excellence keeps you there.
Choosing excellence as the standard of performance is worth your investment and your parents' sacrifice.
Lagniappe. Her nickname was "Cakes." Not because she liked to eat, but because she made so many pancake digs.
Quote from Kobe Bryant's The Mamba Mentality, "What separates great players from all-time great players is their ability to self-assess, diagnose weaknesses, and turn those flaws into strengths."
Be specific. "Bring the receipts." "Play harder." What does that mean?
Consider three recent graduates who were attackers and Triple Crown winners of All-State and dual All-Scholastics - Elena Soukos, Gia Vlajkovic, and Sadie Jaggers. Each leveraged their skills with superior athleticism, strength, and explosiveness in vertical jump.
In particular, Sadie transformed her athletic explosion dramatically between her junior and senior seasons. This translated statistically, along with a position change.
Invest in becoming your own coach, translating limitations into strengths.
Lagniappe. Maxpreps.com publishes the 2025 schedule. Five consecutive tough matches to start the season. Non-league schedule includes Duxbury, Ipswich, and Newburyport at home and Masco on the road.
The Friction Project by Sutton and Rao addresses friction and its impact on organizations. Friction (barriers, obstacles, red tape) can be good or bad. Invariably, "task orientation" conflicts with "relationship orientation." Ideally both converge with a better product and experience.
Let's address solutions first:
1. Be an elephant, with big ears and a smaller mouth, instead of a hippo. Listen more and speak less.
2. Subtract. Find what we can eliminate as in excessive meetings, useless emails, and blame-focused evaluations.
3. Prioritize the player experience. How can we improve?
5. Negotiate. Ask for resources and collaboration where needed.
Where can friction be helpful? Imagine that we had unlimited practice time. Would we feel pressured to be efficient? And what about the impact on the players' families and on their studies? Sports can rob Pietra and pay Paola. Coaching requires 'order and discipline', along with fun.
The high cost of youth sports - participation fees, club teams, travel, strength and conditioning, medical costs - all are friction.
In medicine, making opioid prescription more difficult reduced opioid prescriptions and attendant toxicity and addiction. Making access to weight loss drugs harder created a lot of friction for "providers" and dissatisfaction for patients.
Think of examples of friction in your athletic career. Half of our high school burned down in 1971 from arson. We went on 'double sessions' upperclassmen 7-12 and underclassmen 12-5. Basketball practice moved to the evenings. Afternoon playoff games excluded an underclassman whom administrators refused to release from class.
As a sophomore (before the fire), varsity baseball selection beckoned...but not playing time. After a few games, I thanked the coach for picking me and asked for JV "demotion" where I could play, gaining experience for the future. That worked out.
Friction can appear as time, resources (courts and equipment), and the usual issues of playing time, roles, and recognition.
Recognizing and working to limit fraction is both challenging and rewarding.
Lagniappe. AI consultation re: The Friction Project from ChatGPT...
In The Friction Project, Robert Sutton and Huggy Rao examine how friction—anything that makes work harder than it needs to be—can either hinder or help performance, depending on the context. In high school sports, friction can have both positive and negative effects, shaping team culture, performance, and growth. Here are five examples of each:
1. Friction: Strict Coaching Standards
Positive: Clear expectations and accountability build discipline, structure, and long-term success.
Negative: Overbearing or rigid coaching may stifle creativity, erode morale, or lead to burnout.
2. Friction: Competing Priorities (Academics vs. Athletics)
Positive: Balancing school and sports teaches time management and resilience.
Negative: Constant juggling can lead to stress, reduced focus, or dropout from either domain.
3. Friction: Team Conflicts or Role Disputes
Positive: When managed well, conflict fosters communication, clarifies roles, and strengthens cohesion.
Negative: Poorly handled conflict fractures team chemistry and undermines trust.
4. Friction: Physical and Mental Demands of Training
Positive: Adversity builds toughness, self-efficacy, and identity as an athlete.
Negative: Excessive demands may cause injury, fatigue, or disillusionment.
Positive: Structure ensures fairness, safety, and proper oversight.
Negative: Excess red tape slows progress, causes frustration, or leads to missed opportunities.
Conclusion: In high school sports, some friction sharpens athletes and programs, while other friction grinds them down. Leaders must learn toreduce bad friction(pointless barriers) andamplify good friction(discipline, effort, challenge with purpose).
