The Green-Eyed Monster

"It's okay to be envious - but only of the person you aspire to become." - Rolf Dobelli in The Art of Thinking Clearly

We envy people who are like us. Does James Patterson envy Michael Connelly or Mick Herron? Or vice versa? Writers don't envy painters or golfers. Aristotle wrote, "Potters envy potters." 

Envy is not the same as jealousy. Envy is person-to-person. Jealousy requires a third person. I'm jealous of Tommy because he's dating Susie. 

"Nothing New Under the Sun"

Envy is as old as time. It shows up in scripture. "Thou shalt not covet..." It shows up in sport as people seek to undermine someone else's position. 

There's the cautionary tale of the "Texas Cheerleader Mom" who went to unspeakable lengths to secure a spot for her daughter. 

Envy Doesn't Advance Our Situation

Envy doesn't make us smarter, stronger, faster, better. It does nothing for us. Dobelli writes, "Envy is the sincerest form of flattery - other than that it's a waste of time." 

Does wanting another's position, role, or recognition help us earn it? Of course not. Nobody knows who will earn the DS or middle positions this fall. Your job is to earn the spot you want. Envy is distraction not action. 

Overcoming Envy 

Envy never becomes us. We're never envious of the envious. 

1. Stop comparing ourselves to others. There's no value. 

2. Expand our "Circle of Competence." Where's the role? Grow our skills as a setter with better pace, movement, placement. Get better at what we're good at. 

3. Practice MUDITA, being happy for another's success. "Your joy is my joy." 

Extinguish the flames of envy and commit to habits that grow your cause. 

Lagniappe. The ancient Celtics-Lakers rivalry often saw Sam Jones release a jump shot just over the outstretched hand of Wilt Chamberlain. Jones would tease the big guy on the release, "Too late." Attack better and faster.