What Does Being a "Team Player" Mean?

Selfishness is the root of almost every team problem.

— Alan Stein, Jr. (@AlanSteinJr) December 7, 2025

"Experience is what you get when you don't get what you want."

Not sure who coined the wisdom, "Play smart, play hard, and play together." Many have shared it.

Selfishness is one of the "Killer S's," - selfishness, softness, sloth. What's worse in team sport than being called selfish, lacking toughness, or lazy? That doesn't indict our ability, our game knowledge, or potential. It's a frontal attack on...character.

Golf, chess, or bowling are individual sports. You can't be 'too selfish' in the PGA unless you're playing Ryder Cup. 

The Prime Directive in team sports is "Team First." In baseball it's literally called a sacrifice, bunting to advance a runner. In football it's blocking for a teammate. In basketball, it's setting screens or providing defensive help. 

Most of us will never know the feeling of being a great player. God forbid we live the label of "bad teammate." 

I asked ChatGPT Plus for a consult. Here's what it came up with:

This is a hard topic - but an important one - because selfishness in volleyball rarely looks like ego. More often, it looks like subtle choices that help the individual while hurting the team.

Below are clear, concrete examples, organized the way coaches actually see them.

1. Offensive selfishness (the most obvious)

These show up loudly on film.

• Low-percentage swings
  Hitting sharp into a set block instead of recycling or using the high hands to keep a rally alive.

• Demanding the ball in bad situations
  Calling for sets out of system just to stay “involved,” rather than trusting a teammate with the better option.

• Serve-first ego
  Jump-serving every time at full risk without regard to score, opponent vulnerability, or momentum.

• Stat chasing
  Caring more about kill totals than efficiency, point scoring, or set location quality.

2. Energy and effort selfishness (quieter, more corrosive)

These don’t show in the box score - but they tilt matches.

• Selective effort
  Sprinting to attack but jogging to cover, block, or chase a free ball.

• Ball-watching after your contact
  Watching your attack land instead of transitioning immediately to defend.

• Saving legs for last row
  Avoiding tough defensive moves or pancake attempts to “stay fresh” for offense.

3. Communication selfishness

Selfishness often sounds like silence.

• Not calling the ball
  Assuming “someone else has it,” leading to campfires and confusion.

• Late or vague calls
  Calling “mine” too late, or using unclear language in tight spaces.

• Withholding information
  Not sharing blocking or serving cues that could help a teammate succeed.

4. Emotional selfishness

This one drains teams fastest.

• Visible frustration
  Eye rolls, hands up, slumped shoulders after a teammate’s mistake.

• Sulking after not getting set
  Body language that signals disengagement: no approach, no transition, no cover.

• Holding grudges mid-match
  Letting a single play hijack multiple points.

5. Role selfishness

This separates good teams from great ones.

• Resisting role clarity
  Complaining about touches instead of mastering what the team needs right now.

• Ignoring the “invisible jobs”
  Avoiding blocking discipline, serve-receive responsibility, or coverage work because it won’t be noticed.

• Needing recognition to invest effort
  Playing hard only when praised or spotlighted.

6. Behavioral selfishness (extends beyond the court)

These undermine trust.

• Being late or unprepared
  Forcing teammates to adjust because of your habits.

• Violating team policies
  Academics, conduct, or social media behavior that creates distraction for the group.

• Undermining the team narrative
  Complaining to parents, friends, or online instead of addressing issues internally.

A clean definition players understand

Volleyball selfishness is choosing what feels best for you over what gives the team its best chance to win the rally.

It’s a moment-by-moment decision, not a personality trait.

The useful flip (this is how you coach it)

Selfishness isn’t cured by lectures. It’s cured by replacing it with shared standards:

• “What helps us score this point?”

• “What makes the next contact better?”

• “Who needs this ball more than I do?”

Or my favorite Phil Jackson inversion:

“Basketball is sharing.” Volleyball is no different.