Literally, 99 percent of people live with regret about something. They regret choices made or not made, relationships pursued or not, investments or passes.
Dan Pink wrote, "The Power of Regret." Alfred Nobel saw his accidental obituary in 1888. The piece roasted him as a merchant of destruction for his invention of dynamite and other explosives. Nobel could have retreated in shame, but chose to fund the eponymous prize for work in Chemistry, Literature, Medicine, Physiology, Peace, and Economics. The world knows him for the Nobel Prize, not for dynamite.
The introduction of The Leadership Moment by Michael Useem asks four questions about events:
- What went well?
- What went poorly?
- What can we do differently next time?
- What are the enduring lessons?
- Undo regret with apology or amends. Turn regret to refocus.
- Think of "at least it" outcomes.
- Analyze and strategize.
1. Undoing Regret
- Concept: If possible, take steps to reverse the regrettable outcome.
- In Volleyball:
- Example: After a poorly executed play, such as a missed serve, a player can "undo" the regret by focusing on nailing the next serve or contributing positively in another way (like delivering a great dig or cheer).
- Coaching Tip: Encourage players to view every point as a fresh opportunity. Mistakes in volleyball are transient; focusing on the present helps players mentally "undo" the impact of prior errors.
2. "At Least It" Approach
- Concept: Reframe the situation by focusing on what could have been worse.
- In Volleyball:
- Example: A hitter who gets blocked might think, "At least it wasn’t match point," or "At least I challenged the block and didn’t hit into the net."
- Coaching Tip: Teach players to find silver linings in setbacks to maintain confidence. For instance, a team losing a match could focus on having pushed a higher-ranked opponent to five sets, identifying areas of improvement without dwelling on the loss.
3. Analyze and Strategize
- Concept: Reflect on what went wrong to avoid future regret.
- In Volleyball:
- Example: If a team loses because they struggled with serve-receive, use post-match analysis to strategize better formations, train in pressure scenarios, or identify specific areas for improvement.
- Coaching Tip: Encourage players to approach regrets with a growth mindset. For instance, if an outside hitter regrets not reading the block effectively, incorporate more "reading the game" drills into practice to boost awareness and decision-making.
Broader Applications
- Team Dynamics:
- After a tough loss, use regret to galvanize effort and focus. Highlight what the team can "undo" (like a negative attitude), what they can reframe ("We gained valuable experience"), and how they can strategize to improve ("Let’s work on XYZ this week").
- Leadership Development:
- Encourage captains to model these regret solutions. A captain who openly analyzes a personal regret and strategizes a fix sets an example of accountability and resilience.
Integrating these regret solutions into volleyball fosters a culture of self-awareness and growth, helping players learn from mistakes, stay present, and improve future performance.
The search for excellence implies using tools and resources. Mentoring, video analysis, self-analysis, and artificial intelligence all add potential springboards for future success and regret prevention.
Lagniappe. Alex Mathers shared twenty-one sentences to better our lives. Here's one:
"The stiller your mind, the more connected to life force, and therefore creatively joyful you will be." Internalizing regret does the opposite. Get regret on our side.
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