When someone tells us, "you're great" or "you're terrible" or "you're a bad person," don't believe them. Award ourselves truth, especially ignoring hurtful words.
The second agreement of The Four Agreements is "Don't Take Anything Personally." Why? "The words and actions of others are more a reflection of their own reality than of ours."
Criticism has different intents. Constructive criticism suggests specific improvements. In 'driver ed' the instructor advises you to stay at least a car length behind for every ten miles per hour to allow you stopping distance. Coaching is not criticism.
Coaches want you to do the right thing, the right way, at the right time. Advice on technique or strategy applies for everyone.
Coach Geno Auriemma of UCONN explains that he needs a relationship for a player to understand, "I want you to be better." Auriemma adds that sometimes the best thing he can say is, "I understand." The decision-making or the skill required to play at elite levels is demanding. He knows that critiquing an action differs from valuing a person.
The best players thirst for coaching. If you find yourself resisting coaching, think again.
Lagniappe. Belief and desire.
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