All You Have to Do Is Ask

Often we don't want to bother someone or ask for a favor. Call it courtesy, deference, embarrassment. Whatever.

Times arise when you should ask.

• You seek a letter of recommendation. 
• You want a reference for a job.
• You'd like a mentor. 
• You request an interview.  
• You need extra time on a project. 
• You're requesting a guest speaker. 
• You want a lunch meeting or a date. 

If you never ask, you'll never know.

Not that she fully understood, Dr. Faith Fitzgerald from UC-Davis was a mentor from afar from the time I heard her lecture at Boston City Hospital. She gave a guest lecture on Intravenous Drug Abuse (IVDA) based on her experience in San Francisco. Years later she kindly accepted an invitation to reprise the lecture at Grand Rounds at Bethesda Naval Hospital. All I had to do was ask. 

Return to Mr. Rogers' advice, "Look for the helpers." If you ask authentically, sincerely, and ethically, you'll get some yesses.

Once in a blue moon, people surprise you and volunteer to help. Lauren's mom came into Dunkin Donuts where I seldom go. I asked how Lauren was doing and her college plans. "She dreams of going to the Naval Academy." I asked whether she had the requisite Congressional nomination. "That's a problem." "Okay."

I went home and wrote a three page letter to Congresswoman Clark, explaining how Lauren is a great leader, a tireless worker, three-sport captain, and among the top students at Austin Prep. I explained that having ten plus years as a Naval Officer, I was certain that Lauren would become an exceptional Naval Officer if given a chance. I sent a copy to Lauren's family. 

Lauren got the nomination, has graduated from Annapolis, and last I heard is in helicopter pilot training in Florida. 

Mostly, you need to ask.