Sure Ways to Make People Unhappy

"Invert, always invert" said mathematician Carl Jacobi. Most people crave approval and positive feedback. Deny others approval and people take umbrage. Find ways to praise and recognize others. "Water the flowers." 

Stay in our lane. In "The Undoing Project" Michael Lewis shares a conversation between behavioral economist Amos Tversky and physics Nobel laureate Murray Gell-Mann. The physicist is pontificating about everything at a dinner party. Tversky tells him, "Murray, nobody in the world is as smart as you think you are." Don't get caught leaving your lane.

Don't tell people how to do their job. Publicly criticizing teammates, coaches, teachers, supervisors, and auto mechanics won't help. Want more playing time? Ask how to improve. If we have suggestions, find a private conversation. "Shout praise and whisper criticism." 

Don't insult other people's intelligence. The smartest 'guy' in the room doesn't have to tell everyone she is. Be a 'learn-it-all' not a 'know-it-all.' 

Don't underestimate people. Differences exist between book smarts and street smarts. 

Follow the rules outlined in The Four Agreements. 

• Be impeccable with your word. Nobody wants deception.
• Never make assumptions. Others' actions may not reflect their motivation. Her teammates thought she was selfish. Crying, she explained her father wouldn't talk to her unless she scored. 
• Don't take anything personally. What others say says everything about them and nothing about you. 
• Always do your best. Our best won't always be great or our absolute best. But it allows us an excuse-free, regret-free position. 

Don't get stuck in the past. Things change. Leeches and trephination became dated. But sometimes they change back as we find new applications for old treatment.

Be aware of the role of luck in outcomes. Everyone is special but not always for the reasons we think. 

1024...512 (1)...256 (2)...128 (3)...64 (4)...32 (5)...16 (6)...8 (7)... 4 (8)...2 (9)... 1 (10).

Start with a thousand people and randomly assign half "winners." After ten 'coin flips', one will always emerge the champion. While the winner is 'chosen' they are not special. The eighth best poker player in the world will often fare poorly playing the top seven. Understand how luck and skill merge to define outcomes. 

Lagniappe. Attack-defend-set drill.