All opinions contained within are solely those of the author. This blog is not sponsored by the city of Melrose, Melrose High School, the Melrose Athletic Department, the Melrose Volleyball Booster Club, or any other organization.
"An article in USA Today (July 26, 2002) told of parents hiring skills coaches to enhance their children's athletic performance. A number of parents were quoted. Two particular fathers spoke effusively of how they had shaped/orchestrated their sons' athletic careers. Not mentioned in the article: One son stopped speaking to the overbearing parent. The other, upon meeting me for the first time, asked, "How do you get a father off your back?" - from Coaching the Mental Game, H.A. Dorfman
Dorfman also wrote that in a 1981 article in the New York Times Magazine, a parent opined, "I should probably tell you I support my son's tennis because he gets so much out of it, that it improves him mentally and physically and teaches him so much about life. All that is certainly true, but the real reason is because it adds drama to my life."
Every season has a post-script, an addendum to the campaign. A few thoughts follow.
Supporting the volleyball program, the players, and the coaches is fun. As a part-time assistant basketball coach, I enjoy chatting with the parents, who make willing sacrifices (in many ways) for their children. Today's parents may discover, that it is far easier to enjoy the season from a distance, when you don't have children battling for roster spots, then playing time, and sometimes struggling to contribute under a variety of pressures. Seeing so many alumnae parents at games must make that true.
Bill Parcells' used to say that coaches are the most selfish people, because they put the players on the field whom they believe will make themselves look good. At the same time, coaches make "Sophie's Choice" because they only have so much opportunity (playing time) to distribute. A player getting less game action may not be an inferior player, but fit into the system or 'grand scheme' differently or less well at that time.
I knew a player who was the sixth man (as a sophomore) on a sectional champion basketball team despite great ability. How much ability? The following two seasons he was the league MVP, got a college scholarship, and was drafted by professional sports teams in two different sports. I would be surprised if his parents didn't think he deserved an expanded role as a young player.
I know another player who as a freshman was selected for the basketball 'B' team. He could have felt sorry for himself, but he worked extremely hard, improved dramatically, became an outstanding player and played in college. An excellent student, he became an executive for a Fortune 500 company.
When you are not satisfied with your role or your results in that role, your best response is to redouble your efforts to find ways to contribute now while working to enhance your skills to increase your chances of reaching your individual goals later. Working to pattern yourself after successful models and to improve your mental simulation of key moments can help you reach your maximum 'potential'.
The 2013 edition of Melrose volleyball accomplished many goals and to have achieved more, in my opinion, would have been overachieving in the wake of last season's departures. Enjoy what you have earned, and decide on goals, planning, and preparation to meet subsequent life challenges. You write your narrative; make it uniquely yours and the best it can be.
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